Sunday, November 15, 2009


I already mentioned last week was on the rough side. There were a lot of things that happened, or didn't happen. I kind of had my legs knocked out from under me and found myself in this deep dark place without a flashlight. One of those situations where everything comes at you all at once and the smallest thing can push you towards a deeper hole. When the coffee ruined my laptop and combined with what was a rough writing week anyway, I was sure it was a sign I should stop writing. I didn't know if I had the energy or the fortitude to continue.
But then a few things happened. My friends supported me, talked me down, let me vent and cry. B did the same - letting me ramble until perspective snapped into place and then he insisted I replace the ruined laptop. Because even when I don't believe in myself, he believes in me. And I realized that quitting isn't an option - no matter how beaten down I feel. It's not possible.
Then, I was flipping radio stations and heard this song:...>The lyrics really hit me in a tender spot and not just because I love Dave Matthews (and yes, I have a soft spot for Kenny Chesney as well). I kept thinking about it - letting the words run around in my head. (I also have to admit I didn't watch this video until after I posted it. But man. It's stunning.)
And, though still a little raw, I'm nearly back where I need to be. I say nearly, because my work in progress insists on beating me black and blue every time I open the document and, of course, my current computer configuration makes it difficult to get anything done. The keyboard has too hard of a touch and my fingers feel raw after a short bit of typing. Once the shiny red laptop comes though...
I guess this is another "soapbox" post about not giving up, about finding a support group, about acknowledging your feelings and doing whatever necessary to put them into perspective.


vickyb said...

Thank you for this. It is beautiful - and reminded me of how much I have to be grateful for amidst all the negative. I've got your back - and I know you have mine.


Victoria said...

Thanks, Bicky! That's what it's all about - watching out for each other!

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

*wraps you in cotton batting for the black and blues*

*adds extra for raw fingers*

Victoria said...

*Thanks you*