The First Day...

Look at that! Two posts in one day!
I have several friends who believe you should do everything you love and want to do often in the new year on New Years Day. It's taken me a while, but I've slowly shifted my thinking and actions to do the same. I think it's pretty cool and what a fun day!
Here's my day:
1. Sleeping in. (maybe a necessity due to not going to bed until 3:30 am, but it was still nice!)
2. Retreat planning and emails! Gotta love retreat!
3. Eating breakfast with my family.
4. Writing!
5. Talking to friends!
6. Sharing the house stuff with the family, so not one person is doing everything!
7. The movies with my family and friends. Loved Les Miserables so freaking much!! I'm thrilled the K's loved it as much as I do, and That Man, too.
8. Napped.
9. Visited friends. We dropped off their baby gift, got a tour of their new house addition, got a very good puppy fix, a bottle of wine, and some laughs!
10. Ate good food.
11. Laughed. A lot.
12. Talked to That Man about a lot of things.
13. Scratched my kitty girl and listened to her purr.
14. Didn't sweat the small stuff - there wasn't a lot of it today, but I tried to keep most of the negativity at bay.
So in all... a very good day. I could use one more day to relax and recharge, but it's back to the grind for all of us tomorrow...
The crazy busy weekend is coming... Oy!
Behave!

Everything is Shiny and New!

Hello 2013!!
It's nearly 2am in the very early hours of the brand new year. Our New Year's Eve was spent playing Xbox games with the kids and 'rents. We chopped fruit, laughed, played arcade games, raced, ate, drank a little, laughed, ate some more... Things were quiet here and that's how we wanted it. Yeah, we missed our friends and family, but this was how New Year's Eve worked out for us this year... It happens... (and we're still recovering from "the cold")
So... here's my Thankful list for 2012:
1. My family - I couldn't ask for better people to share blood and last names with! And there are none better than the people who are in no way related, but are family no matter what!
2. My friends - There is no way I could have survived 2012 without them. (1 & 2 are kind of a merged thing)
3. That Man... Always. After 26 years of marriage and 4 years of dating (holy crap... that's 30 years!!), all I have to say is.. He's a Saint!
4. K5... because she's the best.
5. My son meeting the love of his life and saying "I do".
6. My daughter planning her wedding with the love of her life.
7. My son (the younger one) finding his calling and reaching for it with both hands and feet!
8. My daughter (the younger one) coming into her own and being so much like me that it scares me! lol!
9. The ideas in my head, because it means my dream is not dead.
10. New babies - my grandson due before the end of January, my "adopted" sisters daughter due this week,  our very good/best friends new grandchild due in the summer... New babies are hope and love and awesomeness!
Happy New Year!
Behave!!

Getting it Back...

It's kind of obvious my life has changed dramatically this past year. "The Job" has been a huge adjustment - physically, emotionally, and with the family. My writing's taken a hit and so have the opportunities to socialize and have fun. I'm not whining (not really) - just stating fact. I have to do whatever necessary to make sure my family survives. I do it willingly (mostly). but that doesn't mean it isn't without true and major side effects.
It's not over. I'm still adjusting, though I hadn't deluded myself into thinking the adjustment phase would be over quick. I promised the face in the mirror I wouldn't be too hard on it until after the first year - going through each season and holiday and reconfiguring the way things are done. I haven't lived up to that promise as much as I should have because I should be able to do it all, especially if you ask my ages old Superwoman complex. Anyway, I digress...
The first year is coming to an end soon, and I can tell. I feel more settled, more energetic, ready to focus. I don't say much about the job, but suffice it to say it's very complicated and requires an insane amount of mental energy and focus. I have at least a million things to remember every day - and what I have to remember changes frequently. Maybe I've finally trained my brain to separate and can shake off the busyness of my days enough to re-focus my energy on other things after I leave. Maybe it's because I've made a decision to pass off some of my volunteer obligations (as I take on a huge one with my writing chapter...hrm) I don't know, but I do feel different. Maybe it's because 2011 is almost over...and well, wouldn't that just be like me to finally get my act together the year the world's supposed to end? Ha!
2011 definitely hasn't lived up to its expectations in many ways. And, as usual (and probably delusional) I am ever hopeful for 2012.
I'm thinking about my goals for 2012 (not resolutions, because resolutions suck). I don't know if I'll post them or not, but I will have some definite goals written down and will do my best to get to this time next year with the ability to say Done!.
So, go away 2011...you suck! Bring on 2012!
Behave!

My Thoughts...

On the Royal Wedding...
I didn't watch it, but I might eventually. There isn't much that can drag me from my bed at four in the morning, except for maybe an impending beach trip or some other cool thing.
I don't follow the newlyweds in any way. I know who they are. I remember well when Charles and Diana married and I think I feel the same way I did then.
Half of my Twitter and Facebook pages hate the coverage. Half of them don't. Some are irate over the amount of money spent on the wedding. Some gave constant updates on dresses and guests and the ceremony.
In a world where there is far more bad news than good, what's wrong with the constant coverage? It's far better than watching police chase down a famous person for suspicion of murder. It's far better than hearing about the martial infidelities of someone considered a hero to many people, or having to constantly hear about the atrocities committed against animals by someone a lot of kids admired. I will admit that those types of coverage bring the same kind of social media comments, but at least the wedding was an upbeat positive event.
It's a real life fairy tale and who doesn't love that? Or maybe that's just my romance writer sensibilities. Weddings are a time of celebration. They're supposed to be mushy and romantic. And this wedding was a royal one, which adds the cultural fascination in addition to the royal fascination. The crowds waiting for a glimpse of their Royal Family were upbeat and positive and happy. That's got to count for something.
With all of the ugly stuff in the world, the break from constant bad news is nice. I'm glad my kids were exposed. They even watched some of it when they got home from school. Maybe they're just chips of the old block and romantics to their core...I can only hope...
That is all.
Behave!

The Best Kind of Surprise...

Our parents will celebrate their 50th anniversary next weekend.
So, of course, you know what we did...
We've been planning this party for ages. Some things didn't turn out the way we'd planned, and illness kept a few people away, but I think this party ranks as the best.
My uncle from California came in, and my cousins from Georgia, and my aunt and cousins from Delaware (who have never been here before).
And even though my dad knew something was up and my mom was suspicious (how could you not be with such a milestone?), they had no idea we (and when I say we, I really mean my very persistent and persuasive sister) convinced them all to come. There were tears (the good kind) and shock and for a minute there we worried that we shouldn't have surprised them with everyone all at once, but it was all good.
Good food, good company, lots of good stories, lots and lots of laughing, staying up until nearly 3:30 am and then getting up a few hours later, stink bugs (my sister might just have them worse than me!), ghosts, puppies, lots of laughing....it was a fantastic weekend.
...and that's why I missed posting yesterday...
Behave!

Dear 2010,

Heck yeah! You are so out of here and I could not be happier about that! You've been a huge pain in my butt and this time tomorrow I will be getting ready to kick you out the door and cheering. So there! Thanks for all of your problems, disappointments, and woe. You suck. Hardcore (in the words of K2). I will be glad to see you gone.
To be fair, though, I do have to seriously thank you for a few things.
My high school graduate. What a proud moment! My sweet granddaughter. She is so precious and she loves her Nanners as much as her Nanners loves her. (Yes, that's my name. *sigh* I resisted it. A lot. But it's stuck now and...whatever...it's fine.) The continued happiness of my family, despite the woes 2010 brought. Also, the love and support of my family. They always bring it, no matter what, especially B. My friends, because they rock - awesomely rock. And, the job you managed to squeeze in right under the wire. I'm only a week into it, but so far so good.
We're starting a new decade and I'm excited to see some changes.
So...
Goodbye 2010 and Hello 2011.
Let's do this thing...
Behave!

A New Chapter...

So my girl graduated last night.
I knew I was going to cry. And I did. It's amazing to me that she's closed this part of her life when I swear she was just a toddler two weeks ago. I sat there, stunned, proud, and nearly overwhelmed with emotion and excitement for her. She managed to graduated with a very fine gpa and even received an award (though we have no idea what it is yet since she missed the ceremony due to the camp counselor gig).
Once we got home, she packed the rest of her stuff and went back to camp. I have to admit I was a little sad about that, but the training portion of the job is important. And, I guess I need to deal with her being gone. Because she will be. Pretty much from here on. After camp is college, after college is a life not lived with her parents. And I'm okay with that. I am. But that doesn't mean I won't miss her, that I don't already miss her.
Now...where are my tissues?
Behave

Last Day of 2009

Dear 2009,
You were a fast year - one I entered into with a lot of hope and expectation. I specifically remember standing in the dark a few minutes after midnight. I looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. I let all of the newness and hope fill me. ...and you disappointed me. Again.
I'm not saying you were a bad year. Perhaps this feeling is just me. Perhaps my dreams were too big for 2009. Maybe I expected too much from you. The small things you did give me always had a price attached - and that price was usually disappointment and anxiety. You weren't as bad as some of your predecessors, but bad enough in your own right. I look upon the good things from the year and can call you somewhat of a success. I know the base on which I stand is solid and filled with love and friendship. I know I have more blessings than many and I am grateful. So, I thank you for that and ask that you now leave. Don't let the door hit you on your way out. I think its for the best. For all of us.
It's not you. It's me. Really. And I am washing my hands of you - in a loving way, of course.
Dear 2010,
Once I stop typing 1010 and actually hit the 2, I think we will be friends. I hope to not make the same mistakes I made with 2009 - I will try not to expect too much from you. I will try not to blame you when something goes wrong. But I do hope you are filled with good news and happy times. I realize you will be the year that holds great change for my family and I ask that you treat the coming events with kindness and understanding. Not too much at once, if you please. Be patient with me and I will be patient with you. 2009 was not patient. Or perhaps that was just me.
I know your time here is short and I hope to make the most of every bit of it. Don't go too fast, please. Remind me to slow day and enjoy. And take it easy on us. 2009 stripped us naked and left us in the freezing rain.
See you soon!
And...
Behave!

2009 In Review

The year in review:
January: Editing, computer viruses, more editing, Tall Tale Tuesday, Drink hat coolness, My Bloody Valentine, editing, Feel Good Friday, random writing posts, Supernatural.
February: Sledding, snow, inconsiderate people, boys shaving armpits, random cell phone pics, Friday the 13th, lots of random posting, Tall Tale Tuesday, Feel Good Friday, Supernatural, funny pics.
March: Hockey games, the flu, Mommy Meme, being query ready, Tall Tale Tuesday, Feel Good Friday, Supernatural, random writing posts, Good thing, Bad Thing, Ten Inch Hero, lots of random.
April: Crazy April Fool's day, slacking, fantastic new isp provider, Easter, crazy random posts, bug zapper rackets, Feel Good Friday, Tall Tale Tuesday, much random, Bucket 8.
May: Feel Good Friday, RETREAT!!, random stuff, Supernatural, Tall Tale Tuesday, gnomes, chaos, camping, near-death camper experiences.
June: chaos, Feel Good Friday, School's out, bad hair cuts, Bucket 8, Summer Survival Journal, thumb injuries that should have had stitches, gnomes, blog tour, random writing posts, goals, kids going to camp.
July: Camp outs, streamlining, Summer Survival Journal, Jason Manns music, kids still at camp, road trips for conference meetings, another kid at camp, teenagers, another kid at camp, Road trip to see Jason Manns, chaos.
August: Summer Survival Journal, crazy dances, Georgia Road Trip, Tall Tale Tuesday, Booksignings, weddings, picnics, crazy car dancing, the first day of school.
September: Random, Tall Tale Tuesday, camping trips, new Supernatural, party planning, random writing posts, Summer Survival Journal, Rants, Wednesday...The New Monday.
October: Television, Supernatural, Tall Tale Tuesday, Zombies, balloons, silly pictures, silly videos, Jason Manns Roatripping!, 13th Birthday party, Halloween, random writing posts, Feel Good Friday.
November: being sick, silly pictures, Tall Tale Tuesday, random chaos, Supernatural, soapbox, lots of random, blog tour, Feel Good Friday, cool music, turkey trivia, the demise of my laptop, shiny new laptops, music videos, Thanksgiving, 18th birthdays.
December: Tall Tale Tuesday, lots of random, Feel Good Friday, random writing posts, lost and found Christmas spirit, rants, Free Heartwild Solitaire, weird pictures, chaos, family visits, getting through the holidays.
Yeah, I know there are a few days left in the year, but I'm relatively certain nothing else is going to happen in 2009. At least nothing blog-worthy. I'm doing my best to enter 2010 with a positive, hopeful outlook. And I hope you are, too.
Behave!

A New Month

Wow. It's November already.
(I've been remiss in my wow-ness over new months lately. Just because I haven't posted it, doesn't mean I don't feel it. ha!)
Is it just me, or has this year gone by with amazing speed?
I'm stunned than Thanksgiving is a little over three weeks away. That Christmas is just seven weeks away. I'm not ready. Not at all. I'm also not ready for K2 to turn 18! 18!! Holy cow!
Unless you live in a box in some polar region you've noticed the Christmas decorations that are already on display. Not ready for that either. I can't even begin to think about the holidays yet. Though I sincerely hope I enter the season without the scrooge mentality. I don't want to this year, though I can feel it in the back of my brain already.
*****
So, I'm still sick. Not the swine flu, just a head cold. No real fever, just snot and lots of it. (You're welcome, because yes, you did need to know that! Ha!) We'll see if it affects anyone else in the house, despite my warfare against spreading the germs. We're at two of six right now.
Instead of the fun mother-daughter weekend that was planned, we've had to alter plans slightly to accommodate my aching head. Of course, the fact that the theater was only playing horror movies yesterday had some impact on that as well. But we ate out, went to the bookstore, rented movies, and ate Ben & Jerry's from our own individual containers, and talked (which made the weekend a success, in my opinion).
And I think that's all I have for this November 1st.
Behave!

The Eve of The New Year

I started writing a deep and thought provoking post about motivation and momentum, but I lost it when a virus descended on my computer. I spent most of last night trying to get rid of the darned pest. By the time I did, my motivation for anything but sleep was long gone. That's the last time I search the web for snowblower parts, I'll tell you that much.
Anyway.
Part of the post I was working on when the virus arrived talked about how last year seemed to lose momentum and how it took me until not very long ago to realize I was letting "life" interfere with writing - letting it suck away time and letting it alter my view. "Life" probably isn't the right word. Normal life isn't a problem - it's supposed to be there. You have to live, take care of and spend time with the people who are important to you, pay your bills, feed the dog, change the cat litter, buy food. That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the things you're supposed to brush off and move on from. Let's call that "stress", okay?
Normally, I'd be the first to say "suck it up and get to work" and "quit whining", because it does sound like whining. It sounds like an excuse - a really stupid excuse.
But sometimes those things "stress" pile up and before you know it, you're buried pretty far underneath. You don't realize how you got there either, or what it's doing to you, your life, your relationships, your precious writing time. All you know is that you feel like crap and you don't know why. You sit down to write, but you feel like the creative synapses in your brain have all fused together. Then, you make excuses - "I'm tired", "If I don't do the laundry, we'll all be naked" - stuff like that. You think it's "life", but it's not. Not really. Because under normal circumstances you have a semblance of balance, at least occasionally.
Stress is what makes you look at everything through broken glasses. It makes you forget to see the good things in life. Stress sucks the joy out and makes you feel small and broken. We all deal with stress, and it's relative to what you're used to. I'm used to the chaos of four children and our huge dog (I'm not saying I don't get stressed by my house at times). What I deal with, happily, on a daily basis might send a seemingly normal person to their knees in tears. It's relative to what you're used to.
When you've already got a ton of abnormal stress in your life, you're like a "stress magnet" (currently, my picture should be beside this word). Things tend to pile up around you constantly - one after another until you think you might collapse under the weight. It happens sometimes. I think you know what I'm talking about: flat tires, broken appliances, sick children, ect. that all happen on the same day, and then the next day is even worse, the day after that as well.
I don't have any advice on how to deal with that. I wish I did. I wish I knew the magic secret to banishing stress, and depolarizing the stress magnet. That sure would come in handy around here. Unfortunately, no one really knows the answers, and if they tell you they do they're probably selling something. Especially for the stress that seems to drop out of the sky like baseball-sized hail. Dealing with it is personal and situational. What works for me won't work for you and the other way, but sometimes trying another persons way helps you find your answers.
Though, I think recognizing your stress and what you're letting it do to you is part of the way to cope. There are simply some things you cannot change - no matter how hard you try, or how much you want things to be different. It's easy for other people to say "let it go", "don't let it rule you", but since they're not walking around in your soggy shoes they really don't know what you're dealing with. They don't know how hard it is to continue to put one foot in front of the other when it feels like you're wearing flip flops in a blizzard. Not that they don't mean well. They do.
My point? Gee, I'm not sure I really have one. Or maybe the point is that sometimes we all get buried under the pile. No one can pull you out, though they can help you find your own way out. Maybe just knowing you're not alone is enough. Life does go on though. You have to decide if you're going to let stress paralyze you or if you're going to swing off the rope and dive into the water with both feet and deal with what might happen when it happens. Sometimes you'll stay safe on the shore, and other times...
Well, that's another post.
And I think that's all for now.
Celebrate safely tonight, and...
Behave!

Merry Christmas!

May you and yours have a blessed, wonderful day!

And...

Happy Birthday to my youngest baby girl!

Behave!