It's kind of obvious my life has changed dramatically this past year. "The Job" has been a huge adjustment - physically, emotionally, and with the family. My writing's taken a hit and so have the opportunities to socialize and have fun. I'm not whining (not really) - just stating fact. I have to do whatever necessary to make sure my family survives. I do it willingly (mostly). but that doesn't mean it isn't without true and major side effects.
It's not over. I'm still adjusting, though I hadn't deluded myself into thinking the adjustment phase would be over quick. I promised the face in the mirror I wouldn't be too hard on it until after the first year - going through each season and holiday and reconfiguring the way things are done. I haven't lived up to that promise as much as I should have because I should be able to do it all, especially if you ask my ages old Superwoman complex. Anyway, I digress...
The first year is coming to an end soon, and I can tell. I feel more settled, more energetic, ready to focus. I don't say much about the job, but suffice it to say it's very complicated and requires an insane amount of mental energy and focus. I have at least a million things to remember every day - and what I have to remember changes frequently. Maybe I've finally trained my brain to separate and can shake off the busyness of my days enough to re-focus my energy on other things after I leave. Maybe it's because I've made a decision to pass off some of my volunteer obligations (as I take on a huge one with my writing chapter...hrm) I don't know, but I do feel different. Maybe it's because 2011 is almost over...and well, wouldn't that just be like me to finally get my act together the year the world's supposed to end? Ha!
2011 definitely hasn't lived up to its expectations in many ways. And, as usual (and probably delusional) I am ever hopeful for 2012.
I'm thinking about my goals for 2012 (not resolutions, because resolutions suck). I don't know if I'll post them or not, but I will have some definite goals written down and will do my best to get to this time next year with the ability to say Done!.
So, go away 2011...you suck! Bring on 2012!