Come on, Friday!!
We really need you around this place! We have big plans for the weekend (big plans which will be totally screwed up by this constant rain!), but we're not giving up yet! But let's move on to the tidbits....
Writing:
It's going really well. I'm making progress and loving the new story. Loving the edits I'm currently doing, too, but that's not for the new story.
Home:
Today, K3 met his sister at the bus stop to have a discussion with K4's nemesis. This kid has bugged her since kindergarten, but lately, he's been really rude and offensive on the bus. K3 knows the kid. So they had a "conversation" today. I don't know everything that was said, except that K3 told him if he didn't stop, there would be consequences. The kid said he didn't mean to be offensive (ha ha). We'll see what happens next.
I love, love, love that K3 stood up for his sister like he did. I love that she went to him with the problem. (No one told me anything until after! Of course!) I'm proud of both of them and we left the situation that if there's further issues, That Man and I will be involved. Sometimes, it's really better if the kids handle things themselves. There is nothing more awesome than siblings as a united force.
Day Job:
(I need a nickname for the day job.)
Still harrowing. Crazy week.
Grandkids:
Baby B is pulling himself up now. I love that he gets a huge smile on his face when he sees me! He's so adorable!
K5 is so smart and funny! She starts dance classes in the fall and asks me constantly if I'm going to come and see her dance!
More Kid Stuff:
K1 is having major vehicle issues. Major - like the transmission is broken. It sucks.
K2 is loving being married! Those two are so stinking cute together! I was showing off wedding pictures tonight and I'm still amazed at how awesome the day was.
That is all! It's late and I have crap to do!
Behave!
Showing posts with label snippets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snippets. Show all posts
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Sunday Snippets
From the work in progress - very rough first draft... (This book has no name yet.)
"This could not
be real. She felt like she was either in a bad horror film, or the victim of
one of those pranks where they scared the crap out of you and then everyone
laughs their ass off while you try to recover from the shock. If it was the
latter, someone was getting a bullet right between the eyes.
“I don’t know.
Seems like there are more today than yesterday. You think he’s scary by himself, or Stacey was
scary? As a group, they are horrifying and relentless.”"
Eh...it's still in the crappy stage and it's zombies or something like it. I'm getting ready to hit the page count before all of the kids come home to celebrate K1's birthday.
Behave!
Wednesday, November 03, 2010
Snippets
Snippets from the work in progress. Think Firefly meets Dark Angel meets Terminator...
(and remember this is rough copy. I'm working on it...)
"Someone approached. She steeled herself. The chain around her wrist went tight as she was pulled across the dirt. Fighting it was useless, she didn’t have the strength. Let them kill her now and get this nightmare over with. She was too tired to fight anymore.
“You’ve had your chance to repent. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you and your kind. This is your fault.” He yanked her hair back and clamped his hand around her throat. “One last time before I get rid of you.” "
"He resisted slamming his fist through the glass. His rage had him wanting, no, needing to wrap his hands around her neck and watch the light leave her eyes. She’d taken Mercy. Taken his baby. The bitch’s face was burned into his mind. She’d snatched his child out of her crib without the slightest hint of remorse or regret. He didn’t care that she was some kind of brain washed government drone.
It didn’t matter. Revenge burned in his gut and he could almost understand why Mackinaw had taken great delight in torturing her. He wanted to make her pay. There was no way he’d lower himself to Mac’s standards though. If he killed her, it’d be quick."
So there you go. Oh, and it's different men in each section. The second snippet is the hero. And everyone wants to kill the heroine.
Back to work.
Behave!
(and remember this is rough copy. I'm working on it...)
"Someone approached. She steeled herself. The chain around her wrist went tight as she was pulled across the dirt. Fighting it was useless, she didn’t have the strength. Let them kill her now and get this nightmare over with. She was too tired to fight anymore.
“You’ve had your chance to repent. None of this would have happened if it weren’t for you and your kind. This is your fault.” He yanked her hair back and clamped his hand around her throat. “One last time before I get rid of you.” "
"He resisted slamming his fist through the glass. His rage had him wanting, no, needing to wrap his hands around her neck and watch the light leave her eyes. She’d taken Mercy. Taken his baby. The bitch’s face was burned into his mind. She’d snatched his child out of her crib without the slightest hint of remorse or regret. He didn’t care that she was some kind of brain washed government drone.
It didn’t matter. Revenge burned in his gut and he could almost understand why Mackinaw had taken great delight in torturing her. He wanted to make her pay. There was no way he’d lower himself to Mac’s standards though. If he killed her, it’d be quick."
So there you go. Oh, and it's different men in each section. The second snippet is the hero. And everyone wants to kill the heroine.
Back to work.
Behave!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Snippet Tuesday
So I've been working hard these past two days. Being alone is productive, but I still have a way to go. Since my brain is focused on whipping this book into shape, I've got nothing even semi-coherent to blog about. (Except! Holy crap! It's the last day of August!) Let's do snippets...
(This is the contemporary Frankenstein book set near the Appalachian Trail.) (And remember, I'm still editing...)
"Porter came out of the bathroom as she stuck her head into his room. He wore only a towel, slung low around his hips. Her mouth went dry and her knees wobbled a little. He stopped, looking uncertain until she stepped into the room. Maybe it was a mistake, but their time was so limited and he’d become nothing more than a memory once this was over. He grinned and dropped the towel."
And one more from the hero's point of view.
"He’d thought being away from Sage would help clear his head and help him put whatever was between them into some kind of perspective, but his gut twisted into an anxious knot. He wanted to get back to her, needed to get back to her. He’d gone against his own rule and at this moment, he couldn't care less. If Sage died, it would be because whatever hunted her was unstoppable, not because he hadn’t done his job. He took a deep breath and tried to push away the feeling of dread and concentrate on what the bartender was saying."
So there you have it.
Behave!
(This is the contemporary Frankenstein book set near the Appalachian Trail.) (And remember, I'm still editing...)
"Porter came out of the bathroom as she stuck her head into his room. He wore only a towel, slung low around his hips. Her mouth went dry and her knees wobbled a little. He stopped, looking uncertain until she stepped into the room. Maybe it was a mistake, but their time was so limited and he’d become nothing more than a memory once this was over. He grinned and dropped the towel."
And one more from the hero's point of view.
"He’d thought being away from Sage would help clear his head and help him put whatever was between them into some kind of perspective, but his gut twisted into an anxious knot. He wanted to get back to her, needed to get back to her. He’d gone against his own rule and at this moment, he couldn't care less. If Sage died, it would be because whatever hunted her was unstoppable, not because he hadn’t done his job. He took a deep breath and tried to push away the feeling of dread and concentrate on what the bartender was saying."
So there you have it.
Behave!
Tuesday, August 03, 2010
Work in Progress Tuesday
Tall Tale Tuesday will be back. Just not yet.
I've been busting my hump today - editing, writing, editing...
It feels good to get back into the swing of things and actually have a productive day without many interruptions.
So, I guess that means it's time to share.
Remember, this is a rough draft, which means unedited (yes, I said I edited, but this is the first major run through and all sentences are considered unedited until I say so. ha!)
This book is the kinda-Frankenstein one. It takes place in a fictional town in Pennsylvania, just off the Appalachian Trail. The heroine is a park ranger whose parents were murdered when she was a child.
And...here we go.
"Sage left out the details of her parents murders for now. Her memories were blurry and fragmented. She knew what killed them in her nightmares, but that didn’t make sense – to her or to the dozens of psychologists she’d seen after her foster mothers had found the pictures she used to draw. The police and the psychologists believed whoever killed them had to have been someone Sage recognized. They said she blocked the identity and replaced it with the scary monster. Otherwise there’d be no reason for her not to give a description. A bunch of psychological bullshit as far as Sage was concerned, but she still didn’t know who, or what, killed her parents."
One more from the nature hating hero.
"Porter hung up and shoved the phone into his pocket. He was supposed to be enjoying the next six days off – sleeping in, drinking beer with his brother at the beach, maybe doing a little surf fishing not tramping around in the wilderness. Damn.
He found Sage in the bathhouse, beating on a rusted water heater with a wrench. Bathhouse, his ass. Why anyone would chose to shower in the mostly open structure was beyond him. The only things completely private were the toilets located behind a door, even though there wasn’t a ceiling. People were crazy."
So there you have it. And remember...rough draft.
Behave!
I've been busting my hump today - editing, writing, editing...
It feels good to get back into the swing of things and actually have a productive day without many interruptions.
So, I guess that means it's time to share.
Remember, this is a rough draft, which means unedited (yes, I said I edited, but this is the first major run through and all sentences are considered unedited until I say so. ha!)
This book is the kinda-Frankenstein one. It takes place in a fictional town in Pennsylvania, just off the Appalachian Trail. The heroine is a park ranger whose parents were murdered when she was a child.
And...here we go.
"Sage left out the details of her parents murders for now. Her memories were blurry and fragmented. She knew what killed them in her nightmares, but that didn’t make sense – to her or to the dozens of psychologists she’d seen after her foster mothers had found the pictures she used to draw. The police and the psychologists believed whoever killed them had to have been someone Sage recognized. They said she blocked the identity and replaced it with the scary monster. Otherwise there’d be no reason for her not to give a description. A bunch of psychological bullshit as far as Sage was concerned, but she still didn’t know who, or what, killed her parents."
One more from the nature hating hero.
"Porter hung up and shoved the phone into his pocket. He was supposed to be enjoying the next six days off – sleeping in, drinking beer with his brother at the beach, maybe doing a little surf fishing not tramping around in the wilderness. Damn.
He found Sage in the bathhouse, beating on a rusted water heater with a wrench. Bathhouse, his ass. Why anyone would chose to shower in the mostly open structure was beyond him. The only things completely private were the toilets located behind a door, even though there wasn’t a ceiling. People were crazy."
So there you have it. And remember...rough draft.
Behave!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Sunday Snippets
So, the tree is finally down and nearly all reminders of Christmas have been cleared away. I've been editing today, so it's time to share.
Lines from my editing sheet: Don't get bored.
- They put crates for the market in the back of her truck. Do something with them.
- Roswell's cushion. (Roswell's a dog) It's near the window in the back of her truck, but there's supposed to be a job box there. Fix.
- Change it so Gabby doesn't know Annie's having twins until right before she goes into labor.
- Check town names.
- Word search for "just". Overused.
And here's a few lines. Remember I'm still in the editing process.
"She unlocked the clinic door before the memories crept up on her. Thinking about the past wouldn't change anything. No amount of tears would ever bring those she’d loved back. There was no point in remembering them. There was no point in allowing herself to get that close to anyone ever again. She’d learned that the hard way."
"Gabby opened her eyes and focused on the ceiling, on breathing through the pain in her skull like she instructed her delivering mothers. Just when she thought she’d pass out from the pressure in her head, everything stopped. Either she’d blown a blood vessel, or the vision would now start. Of course it would be the vision. She couldn't be lucky enough to actually die, besides, Jack would probably only come and give her mouth-to-mouth to keep her alive."
So there you go.
Back to work.
Behave!
Lines from my editing sheet: Don't get bored.
- They put crates for the market in the back of her truck. Do something with them.
- Roswell's cushion. (Roswell's a dog) It's near the window in the back of her truck, but there's supposed to be a job box there. Fix.
- Change it so Gabby doesn't know Annie's having twins until right before she goes into labor.
- Check town names.
- Word search for "just". Overused.
And here's a few lines. Remember I'm still in the editing process.
"She unlocked the clinic door before the memories crept up on her. Thinking about the past wouldn't change anything. No amount of tears would ever bring those she’d loved back. There was no point in remembering them. There was no point in allowing herself to get that close to anyone ever again. She’d learned that the hard way."
"Gabby opened her eyes and focused on the ceiling, on breathing through the pain in her skull like she instructed her delivering mothers. Just when she thought she’d pass out from the pressure in her head, everything stopped. Either she’d blown a blood vessel, or the vision would now start. Of course it would be the vision. She couldn't be lucky enough to actually die, besides, Jack would probably only come and give her mouth-to-mouth to keep her alive."
So there you go.
Back to work.
Behave!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Saturday Snippets
It's been raining all day. And it's cold!
I've been like a hermit. Haven't left the house once and am in my jammies. Yes, I put clean jammies on after I showered instead of getting dressed in "real" clothes. I made a pot of chicken rice soup, found my snuggly socks, and have been writing nearly all day. (Had to take a nap. It's illegal to not take a nap on a rainy day such as this. Couldn't break the law.)
So, since I've had such a good day, I thought I'd share a few snippets with you. (Torture or Good? You tell me)
From the unedited urban fantasy loosely called "Prophecy":
"Jack didn't understand why they'd stripped him of his power. If his job was to protect her, why would they purposefully take away the only thing that could save her. And for what?"
"Gabby glared at the woman. Mrs. Margaret Miller from Haven had interrupted one of the best mornings in her life. This had better be good."
Eh. At least I'm working!
(and I'm totally labeling this post "snow day" because that's what it feels like!)
Behave!
I've been like a hermit. Haven't left the house once and am in my jammies. Yes, I put clean jammies on after I showered instead of getting dressed in "real" clothes. I made a pot of chicken rice soup, found my snuggly socks, and have been writing nearly all day. (Had to take a nap. It's illegal to not take a nap on a rainy day such as this. Couldn't break the law.)
So, since I've had such a good day, I thought I'd share a few snippets with you. (Torture or Good? You tell me)
From the unedited urban fantasy loosely called "Prophecy":
"Jack didn't understand why they'd stripped him of his power. If his job was to protect her, why would they purposefully take away the only thing that could save her. And for what?"
"Gabby glared at the woman. Mrs. Margaret Miller from Haven had interrupted one of the best mornings in her life. This had better be good."
Eh. At least I'm working!
(and I'm totally labeling this post "snow day" because that's what it feels like!)
Behave!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Retreat! Day One!
Hallelujah!
We are here! Actually, I've been here since about 9:15 this morning. We drove through torrential downpours and tractor trailer traffic and construction, but we made it!
I woke up at 3:30 (that's a.m.)and after staring at the clock for about forty minutes, forced myself back to sleep until 5:30.
The picture is our snack table. Everyone brings snacks to share and we pile the goods in our conference room, which is located a floor below our rooms - a little bit of exercise going up and down the stairs.
We had a brief period of sunshine and during that time I was the passenger in a Porsche Boxster - convertible - while on our way to lunch. That was very beautiful. I finally got to work and am doing pretty well despite a slow start.
Now that all of my Thursday attendees have arrived, I can take off my retreat chairperson hat and screw down my writer hat. The new story is going well.
Here's an unedited snippet for you:
She sat up, pain ripping through her. Nausea turned her stomach. She swallowed it back as she swung her legs over the side of the small bed. Her clinic in New Hope. At least she knew where she was. Now if she could only remember how she got here. She sucked in deep breaths to calm her stomach, the effort failing when she turned her stinging hands over and realized there was a good reason she was in so much pain. Her palms and fingers were covered with deep red lines that hurt like a son of a bitch.
I haven't found the right song to write to yet...you know that song that pumps the blood in the right direction and makes my fingers fly. I'm looking for it.
More tomorrow.
Behave!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
First Pass Finished
Whoot! I'm pleased. The story stayed cohesive and mostly makes sense. I have some stuff to explain, add, and smooth out, but on the whole I'm very happy.
Here are the final editing notes and a snippet:
Page 300 - Patrols passing. Show.
Page 303 - How can Olivia do that and why hasn't she done it before?
Page 306 - It's night again?
"Bodies covered the two-lane road. Bodies obviously dead long enough to be bloated and distorted by time and the elements. Jillian slowed, checking to make sure the doors were locked and the vents were turned off. This was a trap. There weren't a lot of alternatives. Stopping was out of the question, but if she continued, she'd drive over dozens of corpses."
Page 323 - More of Adam's story. What happened to Kenneth and Sandy?
Page 326 - Is the April thread too much?
Page 343 - Change spare bedroom/bath arrangement. Have Tessa be pissed that the bedroom is so small. Add to Frank/Tessa/Jon triangle.
Page 345 - Jillian hitting Frank - add dialogue.
Page 377 - Too sappy.
Page 385 - Explain Sam. Put April's section first. Explain why and what she thinks she has to do.
Page 392 - Dan's crazy speech.
So, there you have it. Now I start the harder work of smoothing/fixing.
Here are the final editing notes and a snippet:
Page 300 - Patrols passing. Show.
Page 303 - How can Olivia do that and why hasn't she done it before?
Page 306 - It's night again?
"Bodies covered the two-lane road. Bodies obviously dead long enough to be bloated and distorted by time and the elements. Jillian slowed, checking to make sure the doors were locked and the vents were turned off. This was a trap. There weren't a lot of alternatives. Stopping was out of the question, but if she continued, she'd drive over dozens of corpses."
Page 323 - More of Adam's story. What happened to Kenneth and Sandy?
Page 326 - Is the April thread too much?
Page 343 - Change spare bedroom/bath arrangement. Have Tessa be pissed that the bedroom is so small. Add to Frank/Tessa/Jon triangle.
Page 345 - Jillian hitting Frank - add dialogue.
Page 377 - Too sappy.
Page 385 - Explain Sam. Put April's section first. Explain why and what she thinks she has to do.
Page 392 - Dan's crazy speech.
So, there you have it. Now I start the harder work of smoothing/fixing.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Sunday Snippets
Been working hard today, so thought I'd share some more editing notes and a few of the more decent passages.
Here we go...
Page 192: Why didn't she think of the cabin sooner?
Page 194: Why so many sandwiches? Wondering why what?
Page 197: Aunt Jane died too fast.
Page 201: Doesn't Jillian have calming powers?
Page 206: How did she get the tour permit and hook up with the woman?
Page 215: Use viciousness to their advantage. Vines.
Page 226: Rearrange news - how Matt go injured first, what's up with Jillian second.
Page 230: Tell when Olivia set up the cot. Wouldn't she know if Luke was injured?
page 265: If she's a seer why didn't she know Sandy lied?
Page 278: Why would she have a bucket of nails in her car?
Page 279: She should recognize her cousin.
Page 290: Experiments.
As you can see I've made a lot of progress today. I only have about 100 pages for this pass. Next comes the harder work.
Now for some semi-decent stuff.
"Luke had kept his brother from being in his head since Olivia left. He didn't need anyone else poking around in there. All this emotional connection crap was too much in a world where everyone you loved died."
**
"He let his energy flow through her. Her spirit was alongside his. He witnessed the darkened places of her being that might never come back into the light."
**
"Jillian had left her mother to die. She'd done nothing to save her when she might have been able to. Fear aside, she should have at least tried."
So there you have it. More junk for your brains. No one's told me to stop yet, so...
Behave!
Here we go...
Page 192: Why didn't she think of the cabin sooner?
Page 194: Why so many sandwiches? Wondering why what?
Page 197: Aunt Jane died too fast.
Page 201: Doesn't Jillian have calming powers?
Page 206: How did she get the tour permit and hook up with the woman?
Page 215: Use viciousness to their advantage. Vines.
Page 226: Rearrange news - how Matt go injured first, what's up with Jillian second.
Page 230: Tell when Olivia set up the cot. Wouldn't she know if Luke was injured?
page 265: If she's a seer why didn't she know Sandy lied?
Page 278: Why would she have a bucket of nails in her car?
Page 279: She should recognize her cousin.
Page 290: Experiments.
As you can see I've made a lot of progress today. I only have about 100 pages for this pass. Next comes the harder work.
Now for some semi-decent stuff.
"Luke had kept his brother from being in his head since Olivia left. He didn't need anyone else poking around in there. All this emotional connection crap was too much in a world where everyone you loved died."
**
"He let his energy flow through her. Her spirit was alongside his. He witnessed the darkened places of her being that might never come back into the light."
**
"Jillian had left her mother to die. She'd done nothing to save her when she might have been able to. Fear aside, she should have at least tried."
So there you have it. More junk for your brains. No one's told me to stop yet, so...
Behave!
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Back to Work!
Whoot!
I'm making pretty good progress, too! (until I got distracted by email, but it was time for a break. Really.) That's okay though. It's soon time to watch a new episode of my other favorite show, Ghosthunters.
Here are some editing lines for you:
Page 117: Fix: He studied her. liquefied certain parts (ick), vodka, ancient beings.
Page 120: Explain deceptive shadow.
What's going on with Matt and the stairs? He went up and now he's down. That was quick. Rework section.
Page 122: Matched his passion - cliche.
Attempts on her life - either take out or make consistent.
Not that she believed he did, except for maybe a quick piece of ass between informants - make it make sense.
Page 124: Why did his reflection surprise her? Where is she?
Page 126: "Promise" reasoning is contrived.
Page 127: He kissed his way around her throat???
She's stuck a lot.
Conversation between body and soul. Yuck. Cliche.
Page 128: Would his mother's wedding band fit on his finger?
Page 131: He fills Olivia in, but was just thinking about how it was good he and Matt could talk privately so the information was secure. Would he really tell her so much?
Page 132: Letting her be in charge? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Page 133: Niggling? Make her thoughts tougher.
Page 134: Why are they talking about Matt while they're in the shower?
Page 138: Is he sincere or still only trying to seduce her? Wouldn't she wonder? She went too far the other way.
I'm actually done with more than page 138, but there's nothing but words to check for overuse and sentence structure stuff. It's pretty good progress considering how long I've been at it. I'm still not as far as I planned to be, thanks to the crap in my computer, but it feels really good to be back at it.
There might be more tomorrow. Posting snippets here keeps me motivated to get it done. And it gives you an idea of how terrible my first draft is. Hmm...I know first drafts are supposed to be bad, but maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.
Behave!
I'm making pretty good progress, too! (until I got distracted by email, but it was time for a break. Really.) That's okay though. It's soon time to watch a new episode of my other favorite show, Ghosthunters.
Here are some editing lines for you:
Page 117: Fix: He studied her. liquefied certain parts (ick), vodka, ancient beings.
Page 120: Explain deceptive shadow.
What's going on with Matt and the stairs? He went up and now he's down. That was quick. Rework section.
Page 122: Matched his passion - cliche.
Attempts on her life - either take out or make consistent.
Not that she believed he did, except for maybe a quick piece of ass between informants - make it make sense.
Page 124: Why did his reflection surprise her? Where is she?
Page 126: "Promise" reasoning is contrived.
Page 127: He kissed his way around her throat???
She's stuck a lot.
Conversation between body and soul. Yuck. Cliche.
Page 128: Would his mother's wedding band fit on his finger?
Page 131: He fills Olivia in, but was just thinking about how it was good he and Matt could talk privately so the information was secure. Would he really tell her so much?
Page 132: Letting her be in charge? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Page 133: Niggling? Make her thoughts tougher.
Page 134: Why are they talking about Matt while they're in the shower?
Page 138: Is he sincere or still only trying to seduce her? Wouldn't she wonder? She went too far the other way.
I'm actually done with more than page 138, but there's nothing but words to check for overuse and sentence structure stuff. It's pretty good progress considering how long I've been at it. I'm still not as far as I planned to be, thanks to the crap in my computer, but it feels really good to be back at it.
There might be more tomorrow. Posting snippets here keeps me motivated to get it done. And it gives you an idea of how terrible my first draft is. Hmm...I know first drafts are supposed to be bad, but maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.
Behave!
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