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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Sunday Snippets

So, the tree is finally down and nearly all reminders of Christmas have been cleared away. I've been editing today, so it's time to share.
Lines from my editing sheet: Don't get bored.
- They put crates for the market in the back of her truck. Do something with them.
- Roswell's cushion. (Roswell's a dog) It's near the window in the back of her truck, but there's supposed to be a job box there. Fix.
- Change it so Gabby doesn't know Annie's having twins until right before she goes into labor.
- Check town names.
- Word search for "just". Overused.
And here's a few lines. Remember I'm still in the editing process.
"She unlocked the clinic door before the memories crept up on her. Thinking about the past wouldn't change anything. No amount of tears would ever bring those she’d loved back. There was no point in remembering them. There was no point in allowing herself to get that close to anyone ever again. She’d learned that the hard way."
"Gabby opened her eyes and focused on the ceiling, on breathing through the pain in her skull like she instructed her delivering mothers. Just when she thought she’d pass out from the pressure in her head, everything stopped. Either she’d blown a blood vessel, or the vision would now start. Of course it would be the vision. She couldn't be lucky enough to actually die, besides, Jack would probably only come and give her mouth-to-mouth to keep her alive."
So there you go.
Back to work.
Behave!

4 comments:

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

I am totally intrigued!`

Victoria said...

Thanks! Hopefully you'll have it soon! lol

Susan Kelley said...

Sounds very cool.

Victoria said...

Thanks, Sue!