I'm making pretty good progress, too! (until I got distracted by email, but it was time for a break. Really.) That's okay though. It's soon time to watch a new episode of my other favorite show, Ghosthunters.
Here are some editing lines for you:
Page 117: Fix: He studied her. liquefied certain parts (ick), vodka, ancient beings.
Page 120: Explain deceptive shadow.
What's going on with Matt and the stairs? He went up and now he's down. That was quick. Rework section.
Page 122: Matched his passion - cliche.
Attempts on her life - either take out or make consistent.
Not that she believed he did, except for maybe a quick piece of ass between informants - make it make sense.
Page 124: Why did his reflection surprise her? Where is she?
Page 126: "Promise" reasoning is contrived.
Page 127: He kissed his way around her throat???
She's stuck a lot.
Conversation between body and soul. Yuck. Cliche.
Page 128: Would his mother's wedding band fit on his finger?
Page 131: He fills Olivia in, but was just thinking about how it was good he and Matt could talk privately so the information was secure. Would he really tell her so much?
Page 132: Letting her be in charge? Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.
Page 133: Niggling? Make her thoughts tougher.
Page 134: Why are they talking about Matt while they're in the shower?
Page 138: Is he sincere or still only trying to seduce her? Wouldn't she wonder? She went too far the other way.
I'm actually done with more than page 138, but there's nothing but words to check for overuse and sentence structure stuff. It's pretty good progress considering how long I've been at it. I'm still not as far as I planned to be, thanks to the crap in my computer, but it feels really good to be back at it.
There might be more tomorrow. Posting snippets here keeps me motivated to get it done. And it gives you an idea of how terrible my first draft is. Hmm...I know first drafts are supposed to be bad, but maybe this isn't such a good idea after all.