Gnome Rehab...

Okay, Weekend, Why do you have to go so fast?
I feel like I just got into weekend mode and now...you're leaving again!!
Not a whole heck of a lot of writing done this weekend, but the yard is coming along nicely.
And so are the gnomes...

He had brain surgery and I'm happy to report he's doing very well. Look at how happy he is! A lot of glue and some patience and he's almost as good as new. Still has a few holes in his head, but I did the best I could. His reaction times are slower than normal and I'm not sure if that will get better with time or not, but it's better than when his hat and the back of his head were laying beside him.

The crew got spiffed up and are ready to resume their positions in the flower garden. Only, because of their alcohol problems, (you wouldn't believe the bags of liquor bottles I cleaned up. They were hidden everywhere.) I've decided to relocate them to a new neighborhood. Maybe it will help. I'll be able to keep a better eye on them and maybe if they realize I can see them, they'll behave a little more. It's worth a shot.
They still tried to negotiate for fairies and a poker table, and I'm pretty sure the one with the frog is hiding a liquor cabinet in that mushroom. We won't talk about the passed out guy in his hammock, except to say he didn't come to the entire time I cleaned him. I know what that means and I see another trip to rehab in future. Maybe one of these times, he'll learn.
Right now they're hanging out on the picnic table - waiting for the planting, tan bark, and me to decide who to separate. They're behaving. For now.
That is all...
Behave!

Old Home Week

I recently discovered that I can search all of the photos I've put up on my blog since it's inception. Very cool. It brings back a lot of memories, though, for the life of me, I can't remember why I posted this picture.
I *think* it might have been from our winter cabin trip with my sister and brother-in-law, but I'm not sure.

Then there's this...
The gnomes during happier times.
I think I must have done something wrong. Gnomes are supposed to be good luck, not harbingers of sin. The booze and loose women have to stop. I've tried rehab, but that's not going to work unless they believe they have a problem. And they don't.
I'm not sure what it's going to take for them to wake up and smell the coffee. Until they do, I have no choice but to wait. I love them and want them to be happy and healthy, but I can't force them. Sad, sad gnomes...

And then I found this...
My favorite beach.
Now I'm sad.
I miss this beach very much. I have no idea when we're going to get to go back. Probably not in 2011, despite my original hopes. My old 'burban is having some serious health issues and won't survive the drive. Which means an expensive transmission repair or a total vehicle replacement. Either way we're out.

I think I'm done looking at old blog pictures for today. I'm also done with 2010. I had such high hopes for this year and it has really been one thing after another around the old homestead. Some of it good, but most of it not so much. We'll get into that another time though. Maybe.

And who knows? I might post more old pictures soon. ha!
Behave!

The Gnome Wars

I'm being watched!
I was at a friend's house recently, and as I went to my car, I had that feeling you get when you know you're being watched. Yeah, she has neighbors, but this was...different...menacing if you will.
I walked very slowly until I found the source of my heebie jeebies and found this guy in a tree watching me. Look at the smug expression on his face, and yeah, there's a bit of surprise. I don't think he expected me to find him.
My gnomes have stepped up their game to drive me insane. I felt like I'd achieved a small victory when I caught this little bugger watching me, but when I returned home, chaos was in place. The gnome that lords over my dining room had knocked half of the stuff off of the shelf he inhabits, breaking a sea shell. He also did something to my hutch so that when I opened the door I had to move quickly to avoid the breakage of my casserole dish.
To say negotiations have stalled would be an understatement. We ignore each other now. I prefer to forget they are around and I believe they feel the same. The outside gnomes refused my offer to bring them in for the winter and are crowded together around the bowl I occasionally fill with whiskey to appease them. Their demands have become ridiculous and dangerous. I'm supposed to pay for a trip to Vegas? I don't care if that gnome on television gets to go to cool places! I'm supposed to finance skydiving lessons? Not going to happen. Regular whiskey is no longer good enough. Now they're asking for Crown Royal and not just a splash or two.
I must be ever alert these days. If they're networking and watching me when I'm out and about, then I will have to be very careful. I would not be surprised if they are planning something violent.
I am ever alert.
That is all.
(Bonus points if you can figure out who's gnome this is.)
Behave!

Rambling Monday...

1. The gnomes have continued their assault on my plants. Nothing but Hostas are living in their garden. I have tried to appease them with various bribes, but they're holding out for the full list of demands. Don't think it's going to end well.

2. The college paperwork and worry never seems to end. With K2 being away at camp without the ability to call me except on the weekends, it's been really tough to get everything done. She still has to pick classes and fill out a bunch of forms. We're still working on the financial aid paperwork (I've been told we're fine as far as timing goes). I've been on the phone will her college all morning so far and still have people to talk to.

3. Summer is quickly ending. That makes me sad. I feel like we haven't had much of one. There's been way too much going on and while there's been some fun stuff, summer hasn't gone the way I'd hoped at all.

4. I'd planned to hang towels on the line today. But it's raining. And I'm okay with that. I love a rainy day.

5. It's August! I cannot believe that. Four more months left in this year. That is insane! Christmas will be here before we know it. I know. I know. I've smacked my own mouth...or in this case...fingers.

That is all for today.
Behave!

Just Because...

And, by the way, it's August 1. What the heck?
Behave!

Thursday?

I have no idea what day it is this week. This seems to be a frequent problem for me. And I can't believe I missed posting yesterday, but I do have a good excuse. The gnomes were threatening an uprising and all of my time was taken up with negotiations. Things are okay for now, but the situation is somewhat of a pressure cooker. I'm not sure how this will end.
***
Hopefully my sister in on the last leg of this spider bite journey. She had the plastic surgery to replace skin over the area yesterday. She's in an immobilizer for a little while, but is now without the tubes and wires she's been stuck with for the past several weeks.
***
My mother-in-law remains in the hospital. She is undergoing tests, but seems to be gaining strength. We really don't know too much at this point.
***
This week has seemed long! But tonight I get the chance to hang with the bff's and hear my favorite, Jason Manns. Very much looking forward to it!
***
It can stop being so danged hot now.
***
That is all!
Behave!

The Gnome Wars

I hate to say it, but I think the gnomes are winning.
(Don't tell them I said that though)
They've resorted to sabotage because I refuse to budge on certain issues. (like girly mags and an unlimited supply of booze - I have impressionable children at home. Not gonna happen.) They have killed all of the flowers in their garden, except for the Hostas, and some of them aren't looking too hot. The hearty lavender I planted is dead, though the other two lavender plants I put in pots are thriving. The daisies didn't come back. The ivy didn't either.
I'm not sure what they used to poison the earth, but part of me believes they're using that section of earth as their toilet. I think that would explain it.
The gnome that lives inside has moved to a higher perch. I believe this is so he can watch over us and report our conversations and movements to the outside militia. Also, I think it gives him a sense of importance - like a king or something.
I think I need to be more cautious, or I may wake up a prisoner.
Behave!

The Gnomes Did It

....It's getting ugly!
And I'm scared.
Stay tuned...
Behave

The Resurgence of the Gnomes

Did anyone else watch this show?
I did and I loved it. Especially the fact that their beds were in the wall. ..... You have to watch gnomes. They have attitudes, but usually those attitudes can be adjusted with a healthy dose of liquor and a midnight poker game. I have no problem with that, but they damned well better earn their keep while they're spending all night goofing off and terrorizing the cat. It would be nice if the yardwork was done, and the rest of the housework, too. Mine do nothing, despite the fact that I take care of their garden and make sure they look all spiffy. Even the one in the house is all disdainful and angry-looking. Last night I realized he's standing with his back to the room, which is never good. I want happy gnomes, not gnomes that look so evil that I fear for my life every night.
I think I might have to go into gnome negotiations to make sure I get what I want while I'm providing them a place to live. They've been somewhat disgruntled every since Nic visited a while back. I think Nic's fairy talk riled them up and now all they can think about is "fairy relations". Sick and something I so don't need to know about.
I have a feeling these negotiations are going to take a while.
Wish me luck.
Behave!

Gnome Sunday

Today was one of those beautiful days where you can't help but be outside. I "heard" there's more rain on our horizon, but I haven't verified that information yet and I don't even want to think about it.
Anyway.
We actually managed to get outside and work in the yard. Which means...I took care of my gnomes. First, I cleared out the flower bed. Lots of sticks and stuff that have no business being in the flower bed - like basketballs, crayons (don't ask - I don't know either), little cars. Then, I washed the dirtiest gnome. He was filthy and he ended up getting his mouth washed out with soap, too, because he was telling the little frog perched on his mushroom dirty stories. I caught him and he was not remorseful even after the mouth brushing. I don't know. Those gnomes...go figure. He's the ring leader though, so it's hard to tell with him.
As it turns out, I only lost one with all of the basket throwing and crazy chaos of dogs, children, balls, and things. He's awaiting medical attention in the shed, (he lost his hat) though I do hope to purchase some crazy glue and have him back with his cronies in the very near future. We even unfastened my mother's day gnome . So far, so good. He's enjoying his hokey-stick-hammock-set-up in the newly tan barked flower bed. No demonic appearances, though it might be too early for that.
All of the gnomes seem happy. And I'm happy, too. I conned B away from his tree trimming to go get some of the free tanbark our town offers, I transplanted a bunch of hostas, and ran to the store for flowers. I even bought a big fern for the hanger on the back porch.
The injured thumb made shoveling a little difficult and the stupid thing started bleeding again. I also have two blue fingers from spray painting a chair (that stuff does not want to come off). We got a lot done, but we still have quite a bit to do. This week is our town's annual street fair (and if you remember, I look upon that day with great loathing) and I'd like to get a little more done before we're inundated with guests and drop in company, but we'll see.
I'm sure I'll be sore tomorrow...
Behave!