Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Nic! The Visiting Gnome!

Nic, Draumr's Publishing Gnome, came for a visit after having a wild vacation at Misty Simon's. He arrived just in time for our farm trip, but as soon as he caught sight of the cows he locked the doors and refused to come out of the truck. I did catch him staring at the ducks with longing, but when he saw me looking he hid inside my bag. He did ask about getting a ride on one of the tractors as we were leaving. When I told him he'd have to get out of the truck, he changed his mind. Or maybe he was only freaked because of the dogs and cats. As much as I tried, I couldn't convince him to come to the barn with me. I don't think farm living's his thing.
I caught him under the hood of K2's truck when she was checking the oil, but he disappeared too fast for me to snag a pic. He was also trying to take K2's truck for a joy ride. K2's very possesive of her vehicle. She told him, in no uncertain terms, that no one but her was allowed to drive her truck. He couldn't talk her into taking him to look for chicks either, since she's not allowed passengers for a little while yet. I did get the one on the upper left. Preening. I'm pretty sure that's before he found out there are no fairies in my yard, and before K2 refused to take him to look for fairies. In fact, he was bummed that the yard gnomes were as hard up for female companionship as he is. Sorry, Nic. Not my job.

He went sliding. I think he wanted to claim the house as his love nest, but K2 talked him out of it when he asked for a bean bag chair, lava lamp, disco ball, bead curtains, and if we had any Barry White CD's. Again, this was before he found out we didn't have a fairy population here. He did spend some time hanging with the gnomes in the garden. I had to put him to bed after an all night card game that included copious amounts of Captain Morgan and bottom-shelf whiskey. The other gnomes said he was a lightweight since that's their nightly thing, but they also said he was welcome back any time he wanted to visit. I think that might be because he lost a fortune in pennies to them. Apparently, Nic sucks at poker. Not that the other gnomes really have anything to spend their money on. Though, I wonder if there's some kid of squirrel mafia going on in my yard. Protection money, baby. That was the night I had to talk him out of the tree in the back yard. It wasn't pretty, so we'll just leave it at that - except to say B really didn't appreciate Nic trying to climb into bed with us and the dog wasn't happy with Nic's suggestive comments.
I have to say, Nic was kind of a trouble-maker during his visit. I don't think he was as misbehaved for me as he was for Misty, but then I don't have any fairies to harass.
Here's a shot of him writing on my Alphasmart. He was working on an erotic short story about fairies and gnomes when it was time for him to travel to Vicky Burkholder's.
I hope you enjoyed Nic's adventures at the Smith household. I know I enjoyed having him as a houseguest. He's welcome back whenever he wants. My couch is always open for him.


Vicky B said...

I think I'm in trouble!

Victoria said...

Lock your liquor cabinet and watch out for your fairies!! lol
Nic's a good gnome. He's just a little wild at times! :)

Natalie J. Damschroder said...