Sunday, April 29, 2018

Rest in Peace

My wonderful mother-in-law passed away last night.

Yes, she really was wonderful.
I couldn't love her more if she were my own mom and that's saying something. She's been there for us and me since the day I met her. She was gracious, kind, giving, and had the heart and soul of an absolute angel. Though, if she was mad, she didn't hesitate to tell you off or give you a hard time about whatever transgression you committed. She was one of the strongest women I have ever known. Her faith was enormous. Her love for her family and my family was also enormous. She included my siblings as her own from the day she met them, then stated that when our parents died and was always happy to see them. Our relationship was always easy and accepting.

On Wednesday, we thought she was okay. She was smiling, eating, and interacting normally. Yeah, she was tired, but she was 81 and was fighting the nonsense her body had thrown at her. She and K4 had a great visit. We had talked about Hospice on Tuesday when she wasn't doing well, but nixed the thought. Thursday was a different story, however. That Man stayed with her until late when his sister arrived to stay overnight with her. By Friday morning when he went in to be with her, the Hospice decision was reversed. Her lab work showed that her kidneys had failed, which explained why the fluid was not leaving her body. She went downhill pretty fast. I left work early to go and we sat by her side until the wee hours when That Man sent me home to sleep.

I got up early (after getting just a few hours of sleep due to the massive amounts of coffee I'd consumed and the lateness of the bed crawling), grabbed breakfast for That Man and his sister, and went in. She'd had a rough night, but she was still hanging in there.

Saturday was absolutely brutal. Neither That Man or his sister slept. We went through the entire list of emotions, sometimes more than once. It was rough at times. There was a ton of crying. There was a ton of laughter and memories. She was out of it the entire time, though we know she could hear us, so we kept the conversation involving her and didn't let her hear any of the not-so-nice emotions.

It was late. That Man had decided to go to his car to try to sleep. His sister finally fell asleep in the chair. The plan was for them to sleep for a few hours with me on duty and then I would go home after they were properly rested. My sister and b-i-l were there and had dozed off, too. I was sitting by her side and noticed her breathing had changed. My b-i-l had moved and was sitting across from me, also watching. We looked at each other and I nodded for him to wake the sister. I texted That Man to get inside. That Man walked in the door as she took her last breath. I would have gotten them sooner, but I really thought there would be just a little more time. Though I had a feeling she wasn't going to go until neither of them were standing over her. That's what my dad did.

She was so loved by everyone in her home. Staff stopped by constantly to check on her and say their goodbyes when they ended their shifts. Residents stopped by to ask how she was doing or stopped us in the hall to check in. One woman said she was sure Mom was put there to help her and said how grateful she was for her. And that was a staff member. Another staff member came in to sing to her. They all left crying.

If was both comforting and heartbreaking to be a part of. Later, I'll tell you about some of the things we experienced with her during her final days, but not now.

One of the things I'll forever be grateful for is my sister and brother-in-law giving up almost their entire weekend to be with us and support us. It still amazes me. We, in no way, expected it. My brother-in-law held her hand and sang to her. My sister held her hand and talked to her. They brought me diet coke. They brought laughter and music and comfort for the three of us that were on duty. They provided comic relief and a shoulder when we needed one. They helped entertain the grandchildren when K2 & J came. They communicated with staff members that are friends of ours when we couldn't.

I also have to shout out to my other sister and sister-in-law. They checked in with me during the whole process, too. It just solidifies the known truth that I have the best siblings in the whole world.

Also, the way the staff took care of us during the whole process was amazing. We had a cart of drinks and snacks always ready and they were quick to fill our coffee pot and water pitcher whenever we needed. I think I only had to ask for a refill once and that was Saturday morning because our coffee went super quick. They checked on us often and were quick with hugs and kind words when things became too much and we broke down.

We spent today notifying family and friends. (The only people we called last night were the kids since it was so late.) And sleeping. And cleaning out her room. Very good friends brought us dinner tonight, which was awesome. The most I've managed today, besides cleaning out her room and the phone calls, is necessary laundry. Exhaustion is real. The kids are managing. K1 & J have checked in with us often to make sure we're okay, and made us an amazing breakfast and cleaned up. K3 was here pretty much all day and went with us for the room clean up. I talked to K2 for over an hour. K4 stayed up until dawn and has slept most of the day. She did emerge for food and hugs a little while ago. These kids are amazing and we are so blessed by them.

Tomorrow That Man and his sister go to the funeral home to finish the planning. She had already planned and paid for her funeral, which is amazing and such a relief. There is pretty much nothing that she didn't put in her plan. Arrangements are covered. After reception is covered. All of the details are spelled out. The only thing they have to do tomorrow is write the obituary and settle on date and time and the finer details. That Brother will be here Thursday, so...

It sucks. That's all I can say.


Tuesday, April 24, 2018


I have nothing clever for the title...

It's been a super rough day.

The day job is super insane. To the tune of me having approximately three times more work than normal. I tore it up and got almost caught up, but not as caught up as I need to be. I'm mentally exhausted.

That Mom is not doing well again. She's in congestive heart failure again. She's exhausted, short of breath, and scared. We went as soon as we got home and stayed until we had to use the employee exit to leave. They are starting her on meds to help drain the fluid from around her heart and we hope that helps a lot. Her knees continue to be infected despite the heavy duty antibiotic they have her on. We think she may be resistant to it. She has wonderful caregivers though. They really care about her and are on top of her care. That's a good thing.

I'm mentally exhausted as well. I can't even.

I am writing though, and I'm off to do that now!


Monday, April 23, 2018

Oy Monday...

Crazy day today.

But I'm home already, which is good. And I started dinner...

Left work to take care of some of the legals for my dad's estate. Worked on that stuff once I got home, too.

Hit up the grocery store and picked up some things.

K4 ate bad sushi for lunch and had to come home. Yuck.

The day job is super crazy right now, so I'm afraid of what I'm going to find when I get in tomorrow. Like, really afraid.

But it is what it is.

That is all... I'm home and I'm going to write now.


Saturday, April 21, 2018


Missed Feel Good Friday last night.

We headed out as soon as I got home to see That Mom and pick up That Man's car. Spent way longer than we'd expected with That Mom. Got to hold my great-niece and see my niece and sister-in-law though. Always good. My great-niece is so stinking cute and she smiles all of the time. I'm so glad That Mom gets to see her regularly. Also, That Mom is doing much better. She's responding to the antibiotics and her color is almost back to normal. She also has some of her sass back. Which is amazing. We stopped and talked to her nursing team, which was good. They love her so much.

Went and grabbed a booth at the local restaurant we've been going to the last few months (especially since I get gift cards for there through my shopping app) and talked for a while. Had some fried zucchini and onion rings - which was pretty much all I ate all day. Stopped at the grocery store for dog food. Came home to chaos.

Went to bed early.

Up early to go and pick up my birthday present to myself. We bought an enclosure for my Jeep! Yay! It was super cheap since we bought it from a friend and I think it's going to work well. Once we figure out exactly where it's going and which way to have the opening. I'm excited.

Now... K4 is at prom. She looked so beautiful! Her friends came to help with makeup. Her cousin came to help with hair. My kitchen was a disaster zone for a few hours, but that's okay. I'm not sure what her plans are after, but I don't think she is either.

That is all! I'm off to write now.


Thursday, April 19, 2018

Home Again, Home Again...Jiggety Jig

What a week!

Up super early. Ready to go. Coffee. Hit to road for our drive to DC. Traffic, but we made it on time. Did our appointments. Still lots of driving, but overall a good day. Finally got done and had a quick lunch before making our way back home.

Overall a very productive and good week.

I'm glad to be home though. Very glad. I will be glad to sleep in my own bed tonight.

Tomorrow I'm back to the day job. Then it's the weekend. Yay!

I've got a million things to catch up on, so I'm out.


Wednesday, April 18, 2018

Still On the Road...

We did A LOT of driving today.

But it was really good. I got to meet people I've ever only "met" through email. Which was part of the point of this week.

It's been amazingly good.

Tomorrow is pretty much the same and then, we're going home at the end. So you probably won't hear from me tomorrow night.

Our day started stupid early.
I did manage breakfast and coffee.

Good visits. Good food. Then driving more and good visits.

We finally got back to the hotel and I worked on work stuff for a super long time. Talked with my new rep on stuff she needs to know (should have been on the clock for that, but whatever) But my boss is cool with the credits on the time I've actually worked.

Then we went to dinner.
Good food. Good atmosphere. I kind of felt "relevant" for a hot minute. I had a lobster roll, but ditched the roll for the lobster. There was a brussel sprout appetizer that was to die for.

Then we got back to the hotel and went to the bar that we didn't know existed on Monday when we got here....for a drink and for the boss to watch the baseball game. Fun! We kept talking - like we'd even done anything else since we'd met up again. I have three sales reps and luckily, these two keep me on my toes. My other rep is just as awesome but it's a different territory.

And now I'm in bed. My bags are packed. I have to be up super early, so Good Night...


Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Full Day on the Road...

I slept relatively decent thanks to a cool room and some ambient thunderstorm noises. I was up a little later than I wanted to be and up a little earlier than I wanted to be.

Then the morning went to crap for a bit.
My pants malfunctioned.
My hair looked so weird after washing it with different water.
I spilled lava-hot coffee on my stomach.
The zipper stuck on my boot and it took forever to fix it.

It got better from there, but what a long day.
A lot of time in the car traveling.
A long time of being "on".
Weird lunch. (no flavor, was not what I expected)
More of the same.
Finally back to the hotel and then working for a few hours.

Now I'm catching up on home stuff and waiting to find out what's going on for dinner. I'm hungry (see weird lunch).

Tomorrow is going to be more of the same. Which is fine. I'm actually enjoying myself. It's just a little different than a normal work day. Obviously.

Okay. Dinner plans are made. I'm out.


Monday, April 16, 2018

So I'm In Maryland...

Currently, I'm on one of my beds. It's a super nice room. I have a coffee pot and a mini fridge. The hotel is in a very nice area and is newer, so yeah...

And I have this whole room to myself!

Worked at the office all day, then hit the road at almost five. About an hour and forty-five minutes through not-so-bad traffic. Got into the room, organized, then met for dinner. Checked in with my boss.

Awesome dinner. I'm super stuffed and I still have some leftovers in my fridge. Good conversation. Got back to the hotel and gathered my clothing for tomorrow. Took care of some administration details for the writing stuff and home stuff. Went downstairs and grabbed a beer and some water to bring to my room. Trying to get Netflix hooked up on my tablet so I can watch a movie, but it's being stubborn.

Super tired, but worried I won't sleep. It's a new place and I generally don't sleep well my first night in any new place as I'm sure I'm not alone in that one.

We hit the road to clients around 8am. So a little sleeping in may or may not happen.

I'm here until Thursday. And Thursday will be a long day so I probably won't get home until late. Then back to the office on Friday to try to catch up with myself.

I'm excited for this experience though. I will be meeting the people I work with on a daily basis - finally putting faces to names. And I will be working with my new sales rep - getting to know each other and how we'll work together. Which I already know will be awesome.

I'll check in tomorrow - I think. Now I am writing.


Sunday, April 15, 2018

Weekend Wrap Up...

Friday was awesome!

I didn't really sleep in because I went to bed at such a ridiculous hour on Thursday! But that's okay! I got up and scrubbed my Jeep inside and out. Windows cleaned, carpets vacuumed. The Grandson made some money because he was all about the vacuum. He did do a good job, but holy sand. Things were taken out that shouldn't have still been in there. Lots of scrubbing.

Went to the grocery store for some quick things. Did some laundry. Picked K4 up a bit early from school to go prom dress shopping. We had a blast. She found a gorgeous dress and shoes and she didn't kill my budget! Nice! Prom is this coming Saturday and I "think" she has everything she needs! She's excited. I'm excited for my baby girl to go to prom!

K3 went to break a bit early and we got to hang out with him for a bit. Awesome day!

Friday night ended up being hanging out and chill...

Saturday was at the cabin for clean up and fix up and I wasn't supposed to do any work according to all of the guys, but once the water got hooked up, everything got cleaned inside because my sister and I just can't sit idly by. Plus we also swept up 900 million flies. Again. Love this cabin and will do anything to make it the best ever.

Came home right about dark last night. K3 came over with a gorgeous plant for me. It's so beautiful. We hung out and talked and it was awesome! We ordered pizza super late, but it was very good and much needed.

Slept in a bit this morning. Went to see That Mom. She's not doing so hot right now. She has an infection and is on major antibiotics, but she looks good - better than she did the other day. Took a nap. Hit the grocery store. Did laundry and packed my bags for my week away from home for work.

I'm excited and equally scared to be going away for work this week. I leave tomorrow! I'm packed, but I'm not sure I'm ready!

We'll see...


Thursday, April 12, 2018

Thursday = My Friday!


I get to sleep in a little tomorrow. Do some stuff to and with my Jeep and some other stuff before heading out to take K4 prom dress shopping. That Man is making me an early birthday dinner since we'll be out doing some stuff all day Saturday. The most I plan to be online is to get my words on the page.

And then... next week I'm traveling for work. It's going to be strange. I've never done this before. I'm excited though. I need to find clothes, organize some stuff, and figure some other stuff out.

Right now, I'm most looking forward to the sleeping in. I'm exhausted and so glad I decided to take tomorrow off.

That's all for now.


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Tuesday's Turds...

Yeah, that's a gross title, but it made me giggle and I really needed a giggle today. Ha!

My back is still hurting pretty bad. One of the ladies at work gave me a patch thingy for it. Helped a tiny bit, but the muscles keep spasming. It hurts. A lot. I'm currently on the couch with the heating pad. Soon I will be in bed though. That Man had me on the floor doing some stretches to try to work it out. I don't know, except he had to help me up.

The taxes are filed and have been accepted. All I have to do now is write out a check for the state taxes we owe. The only problem with that is that I ran out of checks and forgot to order them until after I'd written my last one. I'm hoping they come before Friday. Otherwise, I guess I'll have to go to the bank for a money order or something. We'll see...

The college application process is going well. She has to schedule her admission test. I have to do fafsas (ugh). Her transcripts have been sent.

Writing is going. Slow. I'm trying though, which has to count for something.

Tomorrow is half-way through the week. Yay. Technically, I am halfway through my week now. Yay! I decided to take Friday off. It's supposed to be super nice outside, plus Saturday is my birthday, so a three day weekend is acceptable.

That's all for now.


Monday, April 09, 2018


It's snowing.

It's cold.

I'm tired and I hurt my back.


That is all.


Sunday, April 08, 2018

Weekend Wrap Up...

So Sunday is winding down...

I have taco soup on the stove and laundry in both machines...

Let's hit the highlights.

1. The college visit was amazing! We submitted the application as soon as we got home yesterday, so now all we need is the supporting paperwork - fafsa's (ugh), transcripts, essay... blah blah blah. She's in a good spot though. She'll work with her high school counselor on the essay and transcript stuff. I have until May 1st to do the fafsa's (ugh). At first, we were super overwhelmed - in a gym with at least 600 other people. Then, we went to the academic booths to check out her desired major and had to fight the crowd. She finally got to talk to one of the students, grabbed some information, then we went to the women in industry table.
This school is primarily male oriented due to the nature of the programs. The population of women on campus is about 10%. Spent some time talking to them - they do so much to make sure the women on campus are a unit and supported and we loved that a whole bunch.
Went to wait for the bus to take us to the shop for the major she's interested in. Drank a bunch of coffee. We decided it was taking too long, so we took the shuttle to our car and drove over. Had a tour from one of the instructors which was awesome, and then, we found one of the women in the program. We'd talked to her previously at the coffee station. She and K4 talked for at least a half hour while That Man and I checked out other parts of the shop.
It was awesome! She's definitely sure this is what she wants to do and where she wants to go to school. Everything about it was amazing. (Hence the application being submitted as soon as we got home) The only thing we're unsure of is if she'll live on campus or not. That will be decided later once we find out about scholarships and grants. It's only an hour away, but the few students she talked to that commute said it gets old fast, so she's considering her options.
We didn't do the food trucks. It was too cold and windy and we were excited to get to the shop to check it out.
After we left, we found a brew pub for lunch. Amazing, amazing food! We were so full and happy and decided this will be a place we'll frequent often while she's in school!

2. No sleeping in on Saturday, but sleeping in and naps today. That Man is currently taking one. I have taken two so far - one this morning when I got up earlier than I'd intended (though I was in bed before 10pm last night and actually slept all night, which is rare), and then one before lunch. Ha! Love it.

3. Watched the most recent Star Wars movie last night. I really liked it, though K3 absolutely didn't. (He went to the theater to see it. His opinion is probably one of the reasons it's taken us so long to watch it, but...) K4 didn't care to see it. Totally not her thing, but the rest of us really enjoyed it and spent a little time discussing what happens next and our opinions on this or that.

4. So my Suburban...
It was running so bad that I stopped driving it around Christmas. When I had to pull over three times on a hill to let traffic pass I knew it was done being a safe vehicle to drive. That Man had driven it to his mom's to finish cleaning out her apartment and said the same thing. Life happens and we haven't had a chance to address the issues. That Man started it right up today. We're definitely going to restore it. We just need to figure out what it needs. For so long That Man has wanted a project car. We were talking the other night and came to the realization that we actually already have a project car. It will go in for state inspection soon, so hopefully we'll be able to find out what's causing the issues and fix them.
I so want to be able to drive it to the beach again.

5. Helped K4 clean up her room. That wasn't super fun, but it kind of was, too. We had a chance to talk - about lots of things. I found many many of the missing socks. And many of my missing spoons.... LOL

That is all... Going to write now!


Friday, April 06, 2018

Feel Good Friday

Oh, thank you, Friday! I love you so! Especially at 5pm when I clock out! Ha!

So here's the list:

1. Friends from far West coming home for a visit soon! Can't wait to see them. Face Time, Skype, and texts just don't cut it! We miss them a whole heck of a lot and are soo excited to see them! It's been over 3 years since we've seen them together. We saw him about two years ago when he had to come home for his dad's funeral, but we haven't seen her since right before they took off on their journey West.

2. Living through the work week! I was behind all week, but ended the week with the most closed cases in my category, which is awesome. I was busting tail all day and am almost caught up! I was super happy to see 5pm roll around though. Despite how busy I was, the day crawled by...

3. Picking up That Man from work and then a subsequent dinner out just the two of us. A beer. Gift card success and a quick trip to the grocery store for snacks and now we're chilling.

4. College tomorrow. We have our schedule and our plan. They will have food trucks, which is exciting. K4 is super excited. I am excited to see her excited. The snow seems to be a no go, which is good.

5. Plans to check out the college town after the visit. And have dinner. Nice.

6. Not much writing this week, but enough to still make me feel goal oriented. That's something. And sometimes, that's enough.

7. Mini Writing Retreat on the horizon. The big, super cool, retreat is not happening this year and that makes me super sad, so I'll take this mini one (especially since I'm planning it). I will forever mourn the big writing retreat though...

That is all... Hopefully an update after College tomorrow, but we'll see...


Thursday, April 05, 2018

Almost the End of the Week...

Thank goodness...

I've been to more work meetings this week than I've been to in the last six months! To say I'm behind in my regular work would be an understatement. Oy! But the meetings were good and productive, so there's that. I got to go to dinner with the big bosses and new sales rep last night which was actually pretty fun. And I get to go on the road with my new rep to meet with key accounts for a few days soon, which is super exciting and also super necessary. I'm looking forward to it a lot. My new rep is awesome and I think she's going to do a great job. We're already working together quite well, though we've "known" (emails and phone calls) each other for a few years now when she worked for someone else. And I just had my four year anniversary at the day job, which is also kind of surreal.

So yeah, the writing time has been pretty compromised this week. I have gotten some words on the page and done some other things, so that's at least something. And here I am again, hiding away in my bedroom (again, watching Dead Pool... Ha!), doing my thing. The writing documents are open and as soon as I finish this, and my other task, the writing will commence, so there's that!

This Saturday is a college visit with K4, which means I have to miss my monthly writing meeting. I'm super bummed, but this must be done, so... It's supposed to snow 4-10" inches on Saturday, too,  though. How strange is that? We're playing it by ear at this point. We should be able to get there, but might have to come home earlier than intended. We'll see. I'm just excited that we're at this stage.

Other than that. Talked to my aunt earlier. We're planning on a visit to the mid-west this summer and she wanted to firm up dates a little. She cracks me up and it was a great conversation. We're really looking forward to the trip - just have to work out the details with the family, which is not as hard as it seems. I think.

And that's it!

Tomorrow is Friday. Yay!


Tuesday, April 03, 2018

Tuesday Yammering....

Cause that's what I do...

Did sleep in this morning, but not as long as I'd hoped. I set my alarm and everything, but alas, since we went to bed so early last night, I had (believe it or not) slept as much as I could and was up an hour earlier than I wanted to be. (though by noon I was wishing for a nap). Took a shower. Made some phone calls I've been needing to make, which ended up in our local taxes finally getting filed (we won't talk about the other ones yet). Registered for college visitation on Saturday.

Ortho appointment was good but soo long. Work day was okay. Met my new sales rep and worked with her a little on the territory. More of that to come tomorrow and as she trains.

That Man made dinner - fish tacos. Nice! Did some laundry. Watched the B-man for a little and then escaped to get some work done while watching Deadpool. (I know... my life is so exciting)

That is all.


Monday, April 02, 2018

Monday Madness...

What a day!

Day Job = OY! Long.

Tomorrow will be crazy. New people and training I must be there for. I have to go in late since K4 has an ortho appointment in the late morning and we're down to two cars between the three of us. But YAY! I get to sleep in about an hour longer! And then my day is shot in training.

Excited about the ortho appointment because the tooth has moved a whole lot!

Grabbed some fried chicken for dinner. I ate a tiny bit - not hungry - too much going on inside the head.

Doing some things I'm both excited and scared about.... Oy! Can't talk about it yet, but hopefully good things will come...

Yeah, we got that April Fool snow. My work actually delayed by about an hour and a half, which was awesome because I went back to bed after a night of not going to sleep until almost 2 am. I was so freaking tired last night. I went to bed at 8:30. How does a body that tired not go to sleep? And trust me, this old body was tired! I ran around from about 8am until about 4pm with no breaks...

We had a nice Easter at my sisters. We arrived late. But we had no choice. That Man and I had some semi-quality time together. Mr. B was funny with his Easter baskets. See above. We were home early...

I'm also having one of those days that whatever I say is wrong. I think I have the information and then someone tells me I'm wrong. I give my opinion and then someone negates me in a way that makes me want to cry. Not in my house, just everywhere else. Boo. And I'm totally willing to admit if I'm wrong.

It was just one of those days....