Monday, January 23, 2012

More Dear...

Dear Other Neighbor,
Did you shovel that spot? No? Then don't freaking park there! Especially since you are now parked right in front of my house! I am stunned by how rude and inconsiderate you are. Stunned. And my aching back says some very bad words to you!
Get out of my parking spot.
(as an aside here, I normally don't get ticked off when someone parks in the spot I usually use. It's a public street - you park where you can and there have been many times that my guests have parked up the whole street and I know that's irritating to you, but it's not very often and I really try to be a good neighbor. But snow shoveled spaces are sacred. I think it's the ultimate in asshatery to park in a space someone else shoveled. I don't care if you park there to shovel your own spot. I'm okay with that.)

Dear Mega-Super Store,
I don't know why I keep going back to you. I try not to. We had to tonight because the m-i-l needed some things and likes you. Your shoe selection stinks hardcore. Why don't you have any cute shoes for girls -  maybe not cute, but shoes a 12 year old girl would love? Why is your book section so freaking tiny? And why do you keep moving stuff so I can't find it and your employees don't know either?
I should quit you.

Dear Writing,
Why you gotta be so hard sometimes? Why does inspiration strike at the worst possible time, and why is there not more time in the day so I can do what I need to do?
I love you and I want to be able to do you full time again. (Ha ha! How's that for innuendo?)

Dear Monday,
You suck.
That is all.



Ava Quinn said...

I'm loving your open letters. And that is the ultimate in asshattery.

Victoria said...

Yes, it is! Thanks, Ava!