Trick or Treat...

Happy Halloween!
I love Halloween! I totally love trick or treat night so much more that the kids don't need me to walk the streets with them. I know they're a little old for candy grabbing, but I don't have a problem with teenage trick or treaters. I love when the older kids come by. Their costumes are mostly awesome and they're very respectful. I dig that. 
We had a houseful this year. All four K's, spouses, grandson, my niece, her boyfriend and cousins (who are like my nieces, too), and my folks. We didn't do dinner this year - no time and too busy, but we did have some snacks. The teenagers even brought snacks, which was super cool.
There weren't a lot of trick or treaters this year though. Our numbers have been steadily declining. I'm not sure why. We don't have many good neighbors left, which might be part of it. This year, we were the only porch light on in our little block. But there isn't much candy left, thanks to the K's.
Here's my trick or treat (true or false)(like Tall Tale Tuesday used to be):
1. K4 changed her costume at the very last minute, then was frantic that we didn't have everything she needed.
2. My niece's boyfriend wore a sign that said "Nudist on Strike". 
3. K3 dressed like a mermaid. 
4. K2 & J were both Spiderman.
5. Some kid threw an egg at my truck.
6. K3 ate so much candy that he puked.
7. Baby B was a smurf. 
8. My folks dressed up like pirates.
That's enough for now. Guess if you want. There are no prizes, but it might be fun. (Though I don't think anyone reads this blog anymore?)
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday...

It's been a long time since I've done one of these...
Some of the below statements are true and some are false...
Tell me which...
1. I was accosted tonight by a nearly 200 pound sweetheart of a dog.
2. Made dinner out of duck, cod, and peanuts.
3. Eased the mind of a 36 week pregnant woman so she wouldn't worry about their house burning down. Again.
4. Refereed a pillow fight between a four year old and two grown men.
5. Nearly tripped over a rat in a ball.
6. Bought cat food for the first time in months.
7. Wrote.
8. Cleaned out my truck.
9. Killed a bug in my bare feet.
10. Tried to schedule a day for my family to all be together.
So what did I really do?
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday...

True or False...
1. I did not get to before before 3am either day this weekend.
2. I went out with my sister and some bearded guy tried to talk me into going to his hotel room with him.
3. I learned two new dances and am proud to say I mastered them.
4. Someone thought I was my sister's mother.
5. My dog got into the trash and spread it all over the back yard.
6. I ate escargot and deer heart.
7. My granddaughter has decided I am to be called "Sho sho".
8. My husband kissed a dead pig.
9. I got carded buying beer.
10. Some creeper guy tried to pick up my mom.
Which are true, which are false?
Answers tomorrow!
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Back for a brief time...
What is this?

1. The inside of my new slippers.
2. A close up of a glass of orange juice.
3. An attempt to take a picture of the moon with wonky backlighting.
4. The inside of my pocket when the camera accidentally went off.

So which is it?


Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

I have to keep reminding myself it's Tuesday...
So let's do a lame Tall Tale Tuesday cell phone outbox style.
Which of the following are actual texts I've sent?
1. Okay? So what's your question?
2. I just bought a half gallon yesterday!
3. There are bees...
4. Dentist appointments.
5. Oh...crap. Okay then...
6. Okey Dokey.
7. Start spag sauce
8. Listen you mf. Don't say that to me.
9. They don't have magazines?
10. Marco is a man, baby.
Which are true?
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

A brief return. Don't hold your breath. I'm sure it's not here to stay. Yet.
Which of the following are actual text messages on my phone:
1. hey hey heyhey hey hey heyy imm lve in lile 20 mins
2. The butter has melted.
3. HolymotherofGod. Did you...
4. oh hi my name is number 52
5. Shoot.
6. G'ma said she wants to go outside topless
7. mething fun =
8. Cake!
9. Can i hhaz kitten???
10. Gummibear chain.
Which ones are actually on my phone right now? Hint: There are some lies in there!
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

True or False...
Which of the following are true?
1. I got my hair caught in the leaf blower.
2. When I got home from the retreat, my truck was out of gas and no one told me.
3. I think my cat missed me more than the humans that live here.
4. While on retreat, on Saturday, I did not go to the Internet cafe even once.
5. When I crawled into my bed Sunday night, there were five stink bugs under my pillow.
6. I just had an ant crawling on my computer screen.
7. My granddaughter is the cutest baby ever.
8. There was a scout function on Friday (while I was away) and all of the firetrucks B organized got called away for emergencies leaving him with nothing.
9. We are getting baby chicks soon.
10. The wood bees are so bad on our front porch that the railing collapsed. (They're like stink bugs, only more destructive)
Which ones are true?
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Text message style...
Which of the following are actual texts I've received from either K1 or K2 in the past week?
1. Horse Dreams.
2. I need a bucket...to poop in.
3. There is a chicken in my room.
4. If peanut butter has mold in the jar is it still good?
5. I'm at the beach.
6. One day we will all be kings.
7. If a steak is uncooked and brown is it still good?
8. Do you think this potato salad is still good?
9. This guy keeps hitting on me.
10. I'm studying.
Okay, so which are actual text messages?
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Is back!
What is this?

1. Some gross pictures of mouth surgery I found on the 'net.
2. K2's sew job on a clementine. She peeled it only on one side and then sewed it back up and put it back in the bag.
3. B's knee. Close up and nasty the day after surgery.
4. My sister's spider bite from last year after the doctor's cleaned it (under anesthesia).
So which is it?
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Okay, so which of the following are true:
1. We were at the pizza shop the other night when one of our town's finest stopped in. K4 jumped up and ran to the counter and told him, "My dad said this isn't the donut shop."
2. I broke my little toe dancing at the zombie party.
3. Today is not Wednesday.
4. The dog has been barking at 2am, on the dot, every single night for the past week.
5. The morning after the zombie party, we found an empty beer bottle on the front porch. It wasn't us (for one, I hate that kind of beer).
6. At the grocery store tonight, I ran into a guy with dreds playing the guitar as he walked through the store.
7. It is impossible to find costume makeup and props in March.
8. Two minutes after my granddaugther got here on Sunday, she tried to stand on her own and fell, cracking her head on the coffee table.
9. This has been a long week, and it's only Tuesday.
10. I actually made some decent writing progress tonight.
Okay, so which ones are true and which are false?
Behave.

Tall Tale Tuesday

Stink Bugs and Weirdness...
Which of the following are true? (There may be several)
1. My bathroom is apparently the stink bug graveyard. I found approximately 10 carcasses in there last night. I want to know where they came from, why they died there, and if they all died at once...(because they weren't there before).
2. K4 said she was watching stink bugs move around her room last night. She reported one crawled into her underwear drawer and that's why she was all freaked out about socks this morning. I'm not sure...
3. B came home Saturday night. The rest of us were all hanging in the living room, watching something. He closed the door and said, "why'd you throw that at me?" I laughed, thinking something fell off of the counter. The next morning I questioned why the container we'd collected a few stink bugs in was on the floor when it had been in the window sill the night before. B said that was what had hit him when he came in the door....Ummm...Weird.
4. I entered the living room last night to see B with all of the couch cushions off and with a freaked out look on his face. He said he'd felt the cat pawing his back while he was sitting there. The cat was on the back of the couch, looking at him like he was a lunatic.
Okay. It's a short list, but tell me which ones are true. There are several...
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Which of the following are true:
1. I found a metric crap ton of stink bugs in the linen closet. Yes, I screamed like a girl. Yes, I sucked them up in the vacuum and then changed the bag - tossed it outside and considered lighting it on fire. It'd only been about a week since I opened the linen closet. No, I don't want to talk about the hundreds of disgusting creeps.
2. Sunday night, as we were all sitting in the living room watching a movie, we heard the cupboard doors opening and closing. The cat was on my lap. The dog was on her bed. Freaky.
3. The cat caught a mouse Sunday morning. He didn't kill it, just played with it until B intervened.
4. Last night the cat spent ninety percent of our sleeping hours meowing loudly and being a pain in the butt. He didn't need food, or water, and had plenty of comfy spaces to sleep. I swear he woke us at least six or seven times.
5. We lost our snow shovels in the snow. Okay, we didn't. I knew exactly where they were, but no one else did. It took B quite a while to find them, which made for some interesting tracks in my snow covered yard.
Okay, which are true.
Yeah, I know, it's a lame one this week!
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

(The deep philosophical post is still coming, promise! But I'm a little under the weather right now and can't focus enough to be deep and thought provoking.)
So...
True or False.
1. My dining room table is piled high with unfolded laundry. There is also folded laundry in my living room.
2. There are currently three containers with stink bugs inside around my house. One is in K2's room. One is on the end table beside the couch, and one is on the kitchen table.
3. We have discovered that the dog likes to eat stink bugs. It's good for the invasion, but not so good for doggie kisses.
4. I broke my temporary crown over the weekend. It doesn't hurt, but it's sharp.
5. B has decided that it's time to get a kitten.
6. K3's flu turned into an ear infection.
7. Both K3 and I have been waking up at 3:33 am lately. I think about zombies when I wake up. I'm afraid to ask him what he thinks about.
8. We had a total invasion of stink bugs Sunday night. They were flying all over the house. We must have caught and/or kissed close to a hundred of the creepy-assed bastards - some were flushed, some were jarred, and others were sucked into the void in the vacuum.
Okay. I'm going to stop there. That list is looking pretty bizarre to me....
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

What is this:

1. Snow. Picture taken at last year's beach retreat with the bff's. This particular pattern of snow is a result of someone rolling around in the fluffy white stuff. I'm not saying who, but you can guess.
2. Whipped cream. Close up picture of one of the pies B took in the face after the Scout's annual pie selling contest. He had whipped cream in his ears, nose, and eyes. And I'm not lying when I say it smelled horribly.
3. The inside of my freezer after "someone" left the door open all night long. There's some ice cream under all of that ice, and maybe a roast and a package of chicken. I might never know for sure though. *Sigh*
Which one is the truth...
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

How about a stink bug version?

How many stink bugs did I eliminate over the weekend?
1. None.
2. Six.
3. Twenty.

What is my preferred method of getting rid of them?
1. Vacuum.
2. Viking funeral - only without the fire...though that does give me an idea.
3. Squash and hold my nose.

I watched one divebomb the light in my room last night. And found him on the shelf right next to my head this morning. They are not very smart. At all. I kept thinking he would fall down, and then I'd get rid of him, but I was too tired to actively pursue and eliminate.
1. True.
2. False.

How many times did K4 call on me over the weekend for stink bug removal?
1. Three.
2. Two.
3. Eight.

People do not believe me when I tell them I got bit and have swallowed a stink bug?
1. True.
2. False.

What color are a stink bugs guts?
1. Brown.
2. Red.
3. Green.
4. It depends. Sometimes they're different.

Okay. Now that you're all grossed out...I'll stop.

Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

A twofer.
What is this?

1. Pomegranate seeds. K2 decided she had to have one during her break and she made a huge mess with it.
2. Ice cubes in a glass of juice.
3. Stink bug guts.






And what is this?

1. The scratches in my hard wood floor from a tragic accident that included broken furniture and a little bit of blood.
2. Snow that just happened to kind of make a face after being brushed off something B took out of the neighbor's trash.
3. Fettuccine Alfredo. Or what was it. The final stages of clean up after dropping a full plate of dinner.



So, give me your guesses!
And, hey, it's snowing here! It's coming down nicely. We have about a half an inch so far and K4 is already bugging me to check the school website to see if they have a delay. Ha!
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Okay...So which of these things actually happened over the past week:
1. My transmission finally crapped out in my 'burban.
2. The neighbor's dog chewed a hole in three of my trash cans.
3. I hit a cat right in front of my house. He didn't make it and I'm still crying over it.
4. The cat pooped in K4's bedroom after accidentally getting trapped inside.
5. I went to leave Christmas Eve only to find I had a flat tire and my spare was also flat.
6. The Christmas tree was nothing more than some dried needles and sticks by Christmas day.
7. The dog ate the ninja/zombie gingerbread cookie mess before I could get a decent picture.
8. ...and then she puked into the furnace grate.
I'm discombobulated so I'll stop now. True or False. There are some of each.
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

In the hopes of getting my Holiday Spirit Meter to rise a bit, we're doing Tall Tale Tuesday Christmas style. (No upward motion since yesterday, in fact, it's slipped a bit)
Here we go...
Answer the following:
1. In "Nuttin' for Christmas", what insect was the sugar bowl full of?
2. Peter Billingsley played Ralph in what Christmas Story?
3. In the movie Home Alone 2, what southern state did Kevin's family go to on vacation?
4. Who serenaded George and Mary on their wedding night in It's a Wonderful Life?
5. How many times is the name Santa Claus used in "The Night Before Christmas"?
6. What did George Bailey's father die of: an accident or stroke?
7. To Rudolph, what was Baby New Year's name?
8. What is Santa's favorite Christmas carol?
9. In the movie, Babe, what gets stolen from Farmer Hoggett on Christmas Day?
10. In It's A Wonderful Life, what was Clarence's profession before he died?
(All questions come from 'Tis the Season Trivia Game)
Okay...answer away.
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

A random list of truths and lies from the past few weeks. Which are lies? There are several.
1. My brother-in-law sprayed no stick spray into his mouth just to see what it would taste like. (maybe waffles?)
2. Our hot water heater choked while doing dishes after the Thanksgiving meal. It was a quick fix, but seriously?
3. The new/old washer had a leak. We discovered this after it dumped gallons of soapy water onto the basement floor.
4. Minutes after having a discussion about how terminal my 'burban is, the exhaust completely fell of B's car.
5. In a twenty-four hour period, K4 lost two teeth.
6. At one point over the holiday, we had seven dogs inside our house. I felt like "A Christmas Story" come to life.
7. Someone stole a bin of deer meat off our backporch. One of the guy's at B's work gave it to him and we stored it outside in the sub-zero temps until we could get it divided up into freezer bags. When I went out this morning, it was gone.
8. I found a pie pan and fork in the bathroom. Hidden in the laundry hamper.
9. The last two mornings, I have found very small stink bugs in my bedroom...watching me...
10. I made an appointment with the cable guy while I was sick and had no memory of it.
Okay. So which are true and which are false?
Behave!

Tall Tale Tuesday

Thanksgiving style...
Which are the lies? (There are several)
1. My niece is a full on vegan. Except she'll eat turkey. Just turkey, but not if you've used butter to baste it. How weird is that?
2. One year, a very long time ago, I had to deal with someone hosting Thanksgiving that was so controlling she even described what color dish the food had to be brought in. And what kind of vegetables and butter had to be used.
3. We might use sturdy paper plates for Thanksgiving this year.
4. When I still lived with my parents, I made Thanksgiving dinner one year because my mom was working. I was probably sixteen or seventeen. She had this fancy way of making the stuffing and I intended on duplicating it. Except I wasn't quite sure how she did it, so I improvised. It could have been a disaster...
5. I'd put together this centerpiece of leaves and nuts and gourds at the last minute. It was in a basket, lined with a fall-colored cloth. I was very proud of it. Except when we sat down to eat, the basket was covered with bugs. Maybe because it was super cold outside and the heat of the house reanimated them or something. Getting the basket off the table with the food and out the back door was interesting. The bugs kept jumping out of the basket and landing in dishes. No. I'm not sure what kind of bugs they were. I just hope I never see them again.
6. One year they were having a Thanksgiving feast at K1's school. I think he was in 3rd or 4th grade and we'd been having some issues with him saying he was sick when he actually wasn't. He got up that morning, said he was sick, but, of course, I didn't believe him. I sent him to school and then a few hours later, got a call to pick him up. He'd puked in the middle of the Thanksgiving feast...
That's enough for today. Which are the lies?
Behave!!