So Then...

Here are the answers, though no one guessed....
1. K4 changed her costume at the very last minute, then was frantic that we didn't have everything she needed. Yes. And we made an awesome angle knife. She was awesome. It was stressful.  
2. My niece's boyfriend wore a sign that said "Nudist on Strike".  Also, yes. It was fantastic!
3. K3 dressed like a mermaid. No. But he did go out barefoot (which I had no idea until he came home!!)
4. K2 &J were both Spiderman. Technically, yes. They both had Spiderman T-shirts on. 
5. Some kid threw an egg at my truck. Not that I know of. 
6. K3 ate so much candy that he puked. Also no. He can't have anything with milk, so he's very careful. And he's never been a candy eater! 
7. Baby B was a smurf. Yes. And he was so adorable!
8. My folks dressed up like pirates. Nope. Not this time. 
That's about it. We had fun. 
Saturday was also fantastic. Writers meeting and lunch and being with "my people". 
That is all. 
Behave!

Answers!

Yeah, I know no one guessed... but here are the answers anyway. Just in case you can't sleep because you're wondering which are true and which are false... Ha!

1. I was accosted tonight by a nearly 200 pound sweetheart of a dog. Yes. We helped out a friend (see #3) and their Malamute and smaller dog gave that man and I our puppy fix! 
2. Made dinner out of duck, cod, and peanuts. Ummm... No. Gross!
3. Eased the mind of a 36 week pregnant woman so she wouldn't worry about their house burning down. Again. See #1. Yes. They've already had one house fire. They don't need another, especially with baby girl on the way!
4. Refereed a pillow fight between a four year old and two grown men. Yes. 
5. Nearly tripped over a rat in a ball. Yes. Rat cage cleaning night. 
6. Bought cat food for the first time in months. True, but then you knew that. 
7. Wrote. Also true! Yay me!
8. Cleaned out my truck. Not me, but it did get cleaned out. Only it's full of Boy Scout stuff now...
9. Killed a bug in my bare feet. No. I had shoes on. But I did kill a bug!
10. Tried to schedule a day for my family to all be together. True! Do you know how hard that is? Between work schedules, rehearsals, tree sale stuff, blah blah blah... I think we have it worked out though. That man and I had wanted to have a tree decorating shindig as in years past, but it's not going to happen this year. There is no time. I'm sad! I love our tree decorating parties! Hopefully we'll be able to do something to gather the friends soon...
Today has been chaos... Will explain later...
Behave!

Answers!

Okay, so it's Thursday and I missed posting the answers yesterday. I was buried until some revisions (which I'm almost done with, whoot!).
Here we go!

1. I did not get to before before 3am either day this weekend. True. But the weekend was a blast.
2. I went out with my sister and some bearded guy tried to talk me into going to his hotel room with him. Also, true. Never going to happen, buddy.
3. I learned two new dances and am proud to say I mastered them. Haha. No.
4. Someone thought I was my sister's mother. True. In the woman's defense, she couldn't see me at first.
5. My dog got into the trash and spread it all over the back yard. Yes. Bad dog.
6. I ate escargot and deer heart. Never in a million years.
7. My granddaughter has decided I am to be called "Sho sho". No, but she is calling me Nana.
8. My husband kissed a dead pig. Yes. And then he ate it.
9. I got carded buying beer. Nope....
10. Some creeper guy tried to pick up my mom.

There you have it!
Behave!

Answer!

Okay...Here's what it really is...

1. The inside of my new slippers. Nah. I didn't get new slippers. In fact, I don't even have slippers right now. I have slipper socks and clogs.
2. A close up of a glass of orange juice. Yes. Just goofing off with the kids borrowed camera.
3. An attempt to take a picture of the moon with wonky backlighting. Nah. But had you wondering, didn't I?
4. The inside of my pocket when the camera accidentally went off. That's logical and highly possible, but no.
So there you have it. I'm not promising Tall Tale Tuesday is back as a regular feature around here yet. I'd like it to be, but we'll see...
Behave!

Answers!

Yeah, I'm way late. Sorry about that...It's been a long week.

Let's get a move on with the answers!
Which of the following are actual texts I've sent?
1. Okay? So what's your question? True. The reason I said that was related to 2.
2. I just bought a half gallon yesterday! True. K2 was asking about the milk. And we are always out of milk these days. Always.
3. There are bees... Nope.
4. Dentist appointments. True. 3 in one night. None for me.
5. Oh...crap. Okay then...True. But I can't quite remember why I sent that one.
6. Okey Dokey. True. That one is always on my phone.
7. Start spag sauce True. Actually a text sent to my email so I wouldn't forget. I do that a lot after I've gone to bed.
8. Listen you mf. Don't say that to me. Naw.
9. They don't have magazines? True. When K2 texted me while waiting for her grandmother to come out of her cataract surgery. I did tell her to take something to do...
10. Marco is a man, baby. Also true. We were at the store and K2 went to look for something. She texted me "Marco" and that was my response. Say it to yourself in the Austin Powers voice.
So there you have it.
Feel good Friday is next! Stay tuned!
Behave!

Answers!

Like you care, but I'm doing it anyway! Ha!
Which of the following are actual text messages on my phone:


1. hey hey heyhey hey hey heyy imm lve in lile 20 mins Yes. From K2. It's supposed to say: I'm leaving in like 20 minutes.
2. The butter has melted. Nah!
3. HolymotherofGod. Did you... Yes, but the rest of it is not fit for posting.
4. oh hi my name is number 52 Yes. And I do not know.
5. Shoot. Also yes. In relation to me not being able to watch K5 on the day she needed me.
6. G'ma said she wants to go outside topless Nah!
7. mething fun = Yes. And I have no idea what it means!
8. Cake! Also a no.
9. Can i hhaz kitten??? And I said NO!
10. Gummibear chain. K4 took a picture of it to send to K2. It was pretty creepy.
And that is all.
I must write now.
Behave!

Answers!

Answers...because I know you can't live without knowing...ha!
1. I got my hair caught in the leaf blower. Yes. I bent down to grab something as B ran the blower beside me...
2. When I got home from the retreat, my truck was out of gas and no one told me. Also true. Argh.
3. I think my cat missed me more than the humans that live here. I don't think he cared I was gone.
4. While on retreat, on Saturday, I did not go to the Internet cafe even once. True.
5. When I crawled into my bed Sunday night, there were five stink bugs under my pillow. Nah.
6. I just had an ant crawling on my computer screen. Yes.
7. My granddaughter is the cutest baby ever. Absolutely. She is equal in cuteness to my own children, only made cuter by the fact that I don't have to get up with her in the middle of the night, or change nasty diapers.
8. There was a scout function on Friday (while I was away) and all of the firetrucks B organized got called away for emergencies leaving him with nothing. True..
9. We are getting baby chicks soon. Sigh. Also true.
10. The wood bees are so bad on our front porch that the railing collapsed. (They're like stink bugs, only more destructive) No. But there are about a million of them out there.
Sorry this one's a lame-o. I came back from the retreat to a heavy busy week and work's been the same. (I wasn't sure what day it was earlier. Yes. That crazy) But I have at least done something on the book every single day, and that's a good feeling.
I'd also like to wish my mom a Very Happy Birthday!! Love you, Mom!
And that is all. My pillow is calling me, and if I'm lucky, the psychotic water bed leaking has stopped. (It doesn't leak all of the time and we can't find the hole!)
Behave!

Answers!

Because I know you've been anxiously wringing your hands...

1. Horse Dreams. Yes. From K1. He also sent me a link to a dream dictionary.
2. I need a bucket...to poop in. Yes. From K2. Long story...
3. There is a chicken in my room. No.
4. If peanut butter has mold in the jar is it still good? Yes. From K2.
5. I'm at the beach. Also from K2. Lucky dog.
6. One day we will all be kings. No. At least I don't think so...
7. If a steak is uncooked and brown is it still good? Yes. K2.
8. Do you think this potato salad is still good? Also K2. (Are you sensing a theme here?)
9. This guy keeps hitting on me. K2 again. Her next text said if he said one more thing she was going to punch him.
10. I'm studying. Ha ha! No! I don't think I've ever gotten a text that said this!
K2 texts me a lot. Today she sent me a picture of her packing progress. She'll be home for summer at the end of the week and they have to clear their dorm room. She brought most of her stuff home over Easter. I don't know where she's going to put the rest of it.
K1 also texts me a lot, but his are more related to whatever's going on at the time these days.
So there you have it!
Behave!

Answer!

See picture below...


1. Some gross pictures of mouth surgery I found on the 'net. Nah. I definitely don't have time to research gross mouth surgery right now!
2. K2's sew job on a clementine. She peeled it only on one side and then sewed it back up and put it back in the bag. Yes! She spent at least an hour sewing it back up and was very proud of the result. I think it looks all moist and stuff because of the light.
3. B's knee. Close up and nasty the day after surgery. Nah. I didn't even see it until three days after because he wasn't allowed to take the wrap off.
4. My sister's spider bite from last year after the doctor's cleaned it (under anesthesia). Nope. Trust me, it was grosser than that!

So there you have it! Oh, and have I mentioned that my retreat is TWO WEEKS away? I am so excited. T-shirts are ordered (right under the wire) and there is shopping to be done.
That is all.
Behave!

Answer!

Sorry I'm late! See #9 for the reason!
Okay, true and false....

1. We were at the pizza shop the other night when one of our town's finest stopped in. K4 jumped up and ran to the counter and told him, "My dad said this isn't the donut shop." True. It was really very funny. He teaches drug prevention at K4's school and we know him from various town things. Then he came over and tried to eat K3's calzone.


2. I broke my little toe dancing at the zombie party. Nope.

3. Today is not Wednesday. Did we have Wednesday this week?

4. The dog has been barking at 2am, on the dot, every single night for the past week. Nah.

5. The morning after the zombie party, we found an empty beer bottle on the front porch. It wasn't us (for one, I hate that kind of beer). True. I'm not sure...it's kind of freaky.

6. At the grocery store tonight, I ran into a guy with dreds playing the guitar as he walked through the store. True. He happens to be a friend and the brother of one of the BFF's.

7. It is impossible to find costume makeup and props in March. True!

8. Two minutes after my granddaugther got here on Sunday, she tried to stand on her own and fell, cracking her head on the coffee table. No. But I'm sure it'll happen soon. She's at the age.

9. This has been a long week, and it's only Tuesday. True, and I stand by it even more today!

10. I actually made some decent writing progress tonight. True, and that's the best one!
 
So there you have it - a day late and a dollar short!
Behave!

Answers!

I'm late!
Here are the answers!
1. My bathroom is apparently the stink bug graveyard. I found approximately 10 carcasses in there last night. I want to know where they came from, why they died there, and if they all died at once...(because they weren't there before). True. And there seem to be more every day.


2. K4 said she was watching stink bugs move around her room last night. She reported one crawled into her underwear drawer and that's why she was all freaked out about socks this morning. I'm not sure... True. For some reason, her room seems to be the stink bug hang out. If there is one stink bug downstairs, there are six in her room.

3. B came home Saturday night. The rest of us were all hanging in the living room, watching something. He closed the door and said, "why'd you throw that at me?" I laughed, thinking something fell off of the counter. The next morning I questioned why the container we'd collected a few stink bugs in was on the floor when it had been in the window sill the night before. B said that was what had hit him when he came in the door....Ummm...Weird. True. Creepy.

4. I entered the living room last night to see B with all of the couch cushions off and with a freaked out look on his face. He said he'd felt the cat pawing his back while he was sitting there. The cat was on the back of the couch, looking at him like he was a lunatic. Also true. Also creepy.
 
So there you have it.
All kinds of weirdness!
Behave!

Answer!

I'm late. I know I'm late!

Which of the following are true:


1. I found a metric crap ton of stink bugs in the linen closet. Yes, I screamed like a girl. Yes, I sucked them up in the vacuum and then changed the bag - tossed it outside and considered lighting it on fire. It'd only been about a week since I opened the linen closet. No, I don't want to talk about the hundreds of disgusting creeps. Nah. But entirely possible.

2. Sunday night, as we were all sitting in the living room watching a movie, we heard the cupboard doors opening and closing. The cat was on my lap. The dog was on her bed. Freaky. True....

3. The cat caught a mouse Sunday morning. He didn't kill it, just played with it until B intervened. Nah.

4. Last night the cat spent ninety percent of our sleeping hours meowing loudly and being a pain in the butt. He didn't need food, or water, and had plenty of comfy spaces to sleep. I swear he woke us at least six or seven times. True! We didn't sleep much and were very irritated!

5. We lost our snow shovels in the snow. Okay, we didn't. I knew exactly where they were, but no one else did. It took B quite a while to find them, which made for some interesting tracks in my snow covered yard. Also true. And kind of funny!
 
Okay. I know it was a lame one.
Behave!

Answers!

1. My dining room table is piled high with unfolded laundry. There is also folded laundry in my living room. True. Not very exciting, is it?
2. There are currently three containers with stink bugs inside around my house. One is in K2's room. One is on the end table beside the couch, and one is on the kitchen table. Also true. I don't know why...It just is...
3. We have discovered that the dog likes to eat stink bugs. It's good for the invasion, but not so good for doggie kisses. No, and I'm torn by wishing it was true. No. I don't ever want it to be true.
4. I broke my temporary crown over the weekend. It doesn't hurt, but it's sharp. True.
5. B has decided that it's time to get a kitten. Ha ha ha. No.
6. K3's flu turned into an ear infection. True.
7. Both K3 and I have been waking up at 3:33 am lately. I think about zombies when I wake up. I'm afraid to ask him what he thinks about. Also true.
8. We had a total invasion of stink bugs Sunday night. They were flying all over the house. We must have caught and/or kissed close to a hundred of the creepy-assed bastards - some were flushed, some were jarred, and others were sucked into the void in the vacuum. Partially true. It seemed like an invasion, but there were really only fifteen or so. Mostly in K4's room.
That is all for now...
Behave!

Answer!

1. Snow. Picture taken at last year's beach retreat with the bff's. This particular pattern of snow is a result of someone rolling around in the fluffy white stuff. I'm not saying who, but you can guess. Nah. There was plenty of other weird in the snow though!


2. Whipped cream. Close up picture of one of the pies B took in the face after the Scout's annual pie selling contest. He had whipped cream in his ears, nose, and eyes. And I'm not lying when I say it smelled horribly. Yes!! And I swear to you, it smelled for days...Gross!

3. The inside of my freezer after "someone" left the door open all night long. There's some ice cream under all of that ice, and maybe a roast and a package of chicken. I might never know for sure though. *Sigh* Nah, but highly possible!
 
That's it. I now have to go help shovel snow and my back is already screaming at me!
Behave!

Answers!

Okay here we go with the answers....

How many stink bugs did I eliminate over the weekend?
1. None. (ha ha ha)
2. Six.
3. Twenty.
2. Would be the closest. I tend to lose count.

What is my preferred method of getting rid of them?

1. Vacuum.
2. Viking funeral - only without the fire...though that does give me an idea.
3. Squash and hold my nose.
2. Again. Though, honestly, I don't care how I get rid of them as long as they're gone.

I watched one divebomb the light in my room last night. And found him on the shelf right next to my head this morning. They are not very smart. At all. I kept thinking he would fall down, and then I'd get rid of him, but I was too tired to actively pursue and eliminate.
1. True.
2. False.
Believe it or not, that's true. Now you know how tired I was.

How many times did K4 call on me over the weekend for stink bug removal?
1. Three.
2. Two.
3. Eight.
1. Three times. Once there were two on her pillow. Gross!


People do not believe me when I tell them I got bit and have swallowed a stink bug?
1. True.
2. False.
1. Of course they don't believe me.

What color are a stink bugs guts?
1. Brown.
2. Red.
3. Green.
4. It depends. Sometimes they're different.
4. It does seem to depend. Every time I've squished one, the guts seem to be different. The most recent was a brownish-green.

Thanks for playing!!
Behave!

Answer...

I'm too lazy to copy the pictures again, so if you want to see what I'm talking about, scroll down to yesterday's post. :)

Picture 1:
1. Pomegranate seeds. K2 decided she had to have one during her break and she made a huge mess with it. Yes. It was a huge mess. And guess what else? Pomegranate juice stains.
2. Ice cubes in a glass of juice. Nah.
3. Stink bug guts. Unfortunately, no...Though I did flush three yesterday.
 
Picture 2:
1. The scratches in my hard wood floor from a tragic accident that included broken furniture and a little bit of blood. Nah. Never happened.
2. Snow that just happened to kind of make a face after being brushed off something B took out of the neighbor's trash. True. It was a flat screen computer monitor and since our desktop is on the fritz, he thought he'd check it out and see if it works. Don't know yet. We're giving it a few days to totally dry out before plugging it in.
3. Fettuccine Alfredo. Or what was it. The final stages of clean up after dropping a full plate of dinner. Nope. The dog would have licked the floor clean.
 
So there you have it.
Behave!

Answer!

Here we go with the answers!
1. My transmission finally crapped out in my 'burban. Not yet, but it's coming very very soon. Very soon.
2. The neighbor's dog chewed a hole in three of my trash cans. Nope.
3. I hit a cat right in front of my house. He didn't make it and I'm still crying over it. Also no.
4. The cat pooped in K4's bedroom after accidentally getting trapped inside. Yes. Talk about trauma and drama.
5. I went to leave Christmas Eve only to find I had a flat tire and my spare was also flat. Yes. Except I thought the transmission had gone out. Long story.
6. The Christmas tree was nothing more than some dried needles and sticks by Christmas day. True. And it's still up. I'm not sure when I'm going to have time to take it down. It is forbidden for the lights to be on because with our luck the danged thing would catch fire.
7. The dog ate the ninja/zombie gingerbread cookie mess before I could get a decent picture. Also true. And she ate the cookies Bob was given as a gift.
8. ...and then she puked into the furnace grate. No, but she knew she'd done very bad things and she kept her back to us all morning.
So there you go!
Behave!

Answer!

Answer the following:


1. In "Nuttin' for Christmas", what insect was the sugar bowl full of? Ants.

2. Peter Billingsley played Ralph in what Christmas Story? The Christmas Story.

3. In the movie Home Alone 2, what southern state did Kevin's family go to on vacation? Florida.

4. Who serenaded George and Mary on their wedding night in It's a Wonderful Life? Bert and Ernie.

5. How many times is the name Santa Claus used in "The Night Before Christmas"? None.
6. What did George Bailey's father die of: an accident or stroke? A stroke.

7. To Rudolph, what was Baby New Year's name? Happy.

8. What is Santa's favorite Christmas carol? He loves all of them.

9. In the movie, Babe, what gets stolen from Farmer Hoggett on Christmas Day? Sheep.

10. In It's A Wonderful Life, what was Clarence's profession before he died? A Clockmaker.

So there you have it. Holiday Spirit Meter is at 67.998%. It would be higher, but I just remembered a few things I forgot and I thought I was done running around!
Behave!

Answers!

1. My brother-in-law sprayed no stick spray into his mouth just to see what it would taste like. (maybe waffles?) True. And it didn't taste like waffles.
2. Our hot water heater choked while doing dishes after the Thanksgiving meal. It was a quick fix, but seriously? Nope. Though that did happen during our very first Thanksgiving. It wasn't an easy fix.
3. The new/old washer had a leak. We discovered this after it dumped gallons of soapy water onto the basement floor. Partially true. It had/has a leak, but it only leaks teaspoons, not gallons.
4. Minutes after having a discussion about how terminal my 'burban is, the exhaust completely fell of B's car. True. We laughed, because what else could we do?
5. In a twenty-four hour period, K4 lost two teeth. Also true.
6. At one point over the holiday, we had seven dogs inside our house. I felt like "A Christmas Story" come to life. Nah. It was only three, but they were big dogs.
7. Someone stole a bin of deer meat off our backporch. One of the guy's at B's work gave it to him and we stored it outside in the sub-zero temps until we could get it divided up into freezer bags. When I went out this morning, it was gone. Nah. It was gone, but B had put the meat in the fridge.
8. I found a pie pan and fork in the bathroom. Hidden in the laundry hamper. Partially true. I found a paper plate and fork, but they weren't hidden. Someone was eating pie in the bathroom.
9. The last two mornings, I have found very small stink bugs in my bedroom...watching me... True. Creepy little buggers...
10. I made an appointment with the cable guy while I was sick and had no memory of it. True. He wanted me to change to the old company (that I hated). I told him to come back just to get rid of him because I wasn't coherent enough to remember how bad they sucked. I didn't remember until about fifteen minutes before he was supposed to show. He never came.
So there you have it.
Behave!

Answers!

1. My niece is a full on vegan. Except she'll eat turkey. Just turkey, but not if you've used butter to baste it. How weird is that? Nah! She is a full on vegan. And there is no way you could get her to eat any kind of animal product.


2. One year, a very long time ago, I had to deal with someone hosting Thanksgiving that was so controlling she even described what color dish the food had to be brought in. And what kind of vegetables and butter had to be used. Nope. Never happened. Though I've heard about this kind of thing.

3. We might use sturdy paper plates for Thanksgiving this year. True and why not? With the amount of people coming we'd have to eat in shifts to have regular plates or I'd have to borrow some and that just seems like too much.

4. When I still lived with my parents, I made Thanksgiving dinner one year because my mom was working. I was probably sixteen or seventeen. She had this fancy way of making the stuffing and I intended on duplicating it. Except I wasn't quite sure how she did it, so I improvised. It could have been a disaster...Also true. I used Cream of Wheat instead of corn meal. It turned out okay, but we still talk about it.

5. I'd put together this centerpiece of leaves and nuts and gourds at the last minute. It was in a basket, lined with a fall-colored cloth. I was very proud of it. Except when we sat down to eat, the basket was covered with bugs. Maybe because it was super cold outside and the heat of the house reanimated them or something. Getting the basket off the table with the food and out the back door was interesting. The bugs kept jumping out of the basket and landing in dishes. No. I'm not sure what kind of bugs they were. I just hope I never see them again. Nope. Even if I was that crafty...

6. One year they were having a Thanksgiving feast at K1's school. I think he was in 3rd or 4th grade and we'd been having some issues with him saying he was sick when he actually wasn't. He got up that morning, said he was sick, but, of course, I didn't believe him. I sent him to school and then a few hours later, got a call to pick him up. He'd puked in the middle of the Thanksgiving feast. True. I earned the bad mom award that day, even though the school nurse said she would have done the same thing.
 
So there you have it. I'm getting a little more organized for my hosting duties. I think things just might come together. I'm also considering just leaving the leaves the dog brought in on my living room floor. They're kind of festive.
Behave!