Sunday, June 28, 2009

Don't Forget

Sometimes it's easy to forget what you are.
What am I talking about?
Sometimes it's easy to forget you're a writer.
When life butts in and grabs you by the hair, forcibly pulling you away from your writing time and your writing goals, you tend to forget a little. If you have day after day of taken away writing time, (different than planned time off) it's even harder to get back into the swing of things and usually a form of apathy sets in. You remember how long you've been putting words on the page, how many rejections you've weathered, how many times you've sent something out only to be told "this isn't right for us". You wonder why you're still pushing, why you're still dreaming, why you can't just let it go and move on.
That apathy disables you.
It disables me.
There are days I sit and stare at my computer screen with the negative running through my head, the above, and more. Sometimes I'm even compelled to open my submission file and go over just how much is in there. It's not helpful, I'll tell you that much. Some days I have to force myself to open the document and read. And then, it happens.
I feel the spark. The need to tell the story. The need to put the words on the page. And it all comes back. Which is a very good thing.
We all struggle with the negative. No matter what stage we're at, how many books we've published, how many great reviews we've received. If anyone tells you any differently, they're either lying or delusional. Eventually the nasty jerk creeps up on us all. It's up to you what you do with it. Will you use it to refocus your efforts? Or will you let it cut you off at the knees?
I know I've talked about this before. This is an issue that never goes away, that sometimes needs handled differently every once in a while. It helps to be reminded I'm not alone when I start feeling icky.'re not alone.
Now, get back to work.


Natalie J. Damschroder said...

You made me cry.

Victoria said...

Aww. It wasn't supposed to make you cry!

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

You just write so eloquently and evocatively on this stuff, and manage to turn it into something inspirational. It's very different from your usual tone, and the juxtaposition has an extra impact.

In other words, funny people usually nail you where it counts when they get serious.

Victoria said...

Thanks for that! :)