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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Summer Survival Journal: Entry One

Day four of summer vacation.
I lit a signal fire, but no help is on the horizon. The natives are circling. I am scared. Their eyes have this insane, glassy quality that remind me of demon eyes. I have no salt. I cannot escape them. They follow me everywhere - calling out their battle cry in a decibel that defies logic. Waking me to tell me what time it is and that the dog is out of water. They're hungry and have already decimated the food supply. There's nothing left, which means I must brave the elements to lay in more provisions. The reading material has been depleted, which is another provision that must be gathered, but again, that requires a trip out into the elements...and did I mention, they're always following? I cannot escape.
Day three went similarly to days one and two - though no one was injured or scalped. I am weary and we're only four days into this adventure. I scan the outlying areas for assistance, but the only aid that comes my way is in the form of an exhausted, stressed out spouse. All he wants is food and rest. He alternates between pity for me and my plight, humor, and the occasional desire to trade places. I hesitate to tell him I don't think he could survive with his wits intact. I barely have mine. My vocabulary has faltered. The only words I now utter are: "hush", "stop", "I don't know what's for dinner", "Please knock it off", "Clean up your mess", and a few others along that line. The rain has hampered the entertainment value of the great outdoors and I am subjected to horrible shows ranging from old-school toddler shows, teeney bopper shows, reality television, and the constant sounds of computer games. Where has the sun gone? And if it were here, would things be different?
The lead native is leaving soon. I do not know how that will change the current dynamic, but I can only imagine one of her underlings will step up to take her place as the most obnoxious, loudest, and silly. I do not know, but I am scared. I have nightmares. And my nightmares are so close to my reality that I find I am in a constant state of confusion.
Help should come soon. I am ever hopeful.
Behave!

5 comments:

Ava Quinn said...

You are too damn funny. And too close to describing my own situation! Some day we'll have to combine forces and see what comes of it. Good luck with your natives!
M3

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

Man...no wonder you write horror!

Susan Kelley said...

Were you at my house when you wrote this? Add one more thing. Trying to get the landscaping done outside so you can have a graduation party with over fifty people in attendance and unable to do so because it won't STOP RAINING.
And no, I don't know what's for dinner either and don't ask me again or it's going to be boil-in-the-bag plain white rice!

Jo said...

Bring them over here...I'll keep them busy. I've got chores that need a tendin' to.

Victoria said...

That would be interesting, M3! We should definitely do that!!

It's the nightmares, Nat. They totally throw me over the edge!

Yikes, Sue!! I hope the graduation party went well. It's sure nice out now!!

LOL, Jo. I'm not sure I'd want to subject you to the horde all at once. Though, you do have pain meds over there...