Winding Down...

Summer, that is...
We have precious days left... Tomorrow. Saturday. Sunday. That's all.
Tonight we went to Back to School Open House. Dealt with some frustrating information relating to K3's summer school - none of it makes sense, but they're investigating everything and have promised us they'll make things right. K4 got to meet a few of her teachers and some other students, she finally chose her electives and despite the classroom structure being different from what she expected, she's willing to give it a shot and see how it goes. K3 is happy to get back to his friends and his senior year!
Tomorrow night is school shopping. We haven't had time to do it yet. K3 doesn't need much. K4 needs pretty much everything. It's going to be a long night.
Saturday is a trip to the Renaissance Faire. We are so excited! We haven't been yet this year. This won't be our last trip. I got our tickets today!! I'm very grateful we have someone to stay with the pooch all day. Otherwise...
Sunday... well... That's kind of up in the air at this point. We're supposed to do Family Dinner at Mom's, but with everyone going back to school and a lot of us having to complete The Ice Bucket Challenge -- I don't know what we'll end up doing...
Writing... Yes, I am writing. It's slow, but I am.
The new routine will be welcome, I think. I hope. I think it's time for the new normal...
Behave!

Routine Change

Is why I'm so tired.
The hours have changed at my day job and now I work later than I ever have. Which means I go in later than I ever have. It's not necessarily the ideal time to have to work, but it won't last forever and we'll make it work. It's just... you know... the change and the fact that despite having to clock in later, I'm still up at my regular time doing stuff. My days are long. And then I'll adjust again in a few weeks when school gets out and I don't have to make sure kids get out the door and get kids to school on time. (and wait for the traditional whining wish of being home again full time when the kids do get out of school. It happens every year.)
But...
My plan is to do most of my writing in the morning before I head in. That worked Monday, but not Tuesday since I had some other stuff to take care of. (we'll just scratch Tuesday out of this week for now - it was long and exhausting.)
Good stuff:
Tomorrow I'll be on Ava Quinn's blog!
And... Monday, May 26th, Cursed Fate comes out! I'm so excited!
That is all for now...
Behave!

It's Wednesday...

I have two days before I can tell you what's been going on.
I'm sorry to tease. It's not purposeful. But it's awesome, so just wait! :)
It's been a really weird week so far. I had a conversation today that I did not expect. It was awkward because some of the people involved did not know what they were supposed to know and I was left holding the bag and looking stupid. But I still answered the right way and was grateful the effort was put forth, even though it wasn't even in the ball park.
Oy! Sorry for cryptic, but it will be explained!!
In other news, we're in the middle of a family discussion regarding what needs to be done around here next. The younger K's have been waiting for bedroom renovations for a very long time. They've been constantly thwarted by the older K's and their stuff clogging up the works. We decided tonight that we'll give the older K's a deadline to remove their stuff because we can't wait anymore. Even though we might decide to move out of this house. I love this house and I don't want to move, but it's an option. Everything is an option right now.
The younger K's aren't that young any more. We don't have too long until they leave us completely. That Man and I have to think about that even though we don't want to. I don't think I want to think about this yet....
Behave!

Adjusting...

It's been a long week so far.
It's going well. I'm new, so there's the learning curve.
I'm tired.
Tomorrow is my Friday.
I am grateful for that.
I'm tired.
That is all.
Behave!

Super? Sunday....

I'm trying...
I want to watch the commercials, but admittedly, I have no stake in either team tonight. And so far, the commercials have not been all that great. Normally we are at a friend's house for at least part of this event. Even though none of those living in this house really have ever cared about the outcome. We go because we like our friends. Or we used to go until our friends got different lives. It kind of sucks because we always had a good time even if we didn't watch the game.
All of the K's are gone as of this moment. The younger K's are helping their brother unpack boxes. It's just me, That Man, and the demon puppy. The demon puppy is not really a demon puppy. She is crazy, wound up, and energetic, but not demon. She is so very gentle with Baby B and as soon as you say "ow" she backs up and looks at you like she knows she's offended you. Most of the time. She's still learning. And she's so stinking cute.
Behave!

Finding My Happy Place...

I am.
It's been a really slow process, but I'm getting there. The Happy Place is coming. I can feel it. Some of the stress of the former day job is abating - I think it's very telling that it's taking so long to leave. What I miss the most is my co-workers. And the paycheck. But that's pretty much it.
So... I move on.
I will be spending a lot of time looking for gainful employment. I don't have a choice. But in the meantime, I will focus on my family, and me. I will enjoy this time. I will shake off the depression and the worries and I will do my thing.
And I will rock it.
Behave!

Feel Good Friday...

Oh! It has it been a long week...
Let me try to put a positive spin on things...
1. Losing my day job on Tuesday. Surprise! No idea that was coming. Though That Man's first words were... "Thank God." He said he felt as if a weight had lifted from him when I called to tell him. I guess that speaks volumes about the stress I was under for a very long time. Now if I could just figure out how the mortgage is going to get paid, and how we're going to have Christmas.
2. Other than the money aspect, I should be feeling less stressed? I'll let you know when that happens.
3. Getting to see Baby B twice so far this week. He is so stinking cute and getting so big.
4. Vodka.
5. Still staying in the writing challenge.
6. K3 passing his driving test! Yay!! (On the same day I lost my job. He didn't find out about the job loss until Wednesday because I just couldn't harsh his buzz...)
Okay, yes. I was completely thrown off kilter and in total shock. I had no idea I would lose my job. I had no warning. It hurts a lot and it's going to take me a little time to recover. I was there for three years and did not see this coming. It sucks.
There are a lot of good things in my life, a lot of good things...I need to remember that. My identity wasn't wrapped up in my day job - as much as I loved my coworkers and customers. My identity is in this house with the people I love and the friends I rely on.
Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise?
I'll let you know once I figure it out... Like I said, I'm still in shock. It's mind blowing, really.
Behave!

I Know...

I totally cheated on Feel Good Friday...
There's been a lot going on around here. Most of it I'm not inclined to post about at this time, but suffice it to say there was a situation That Man and I had to help with. It was hard and weird (not because of who was involved, but other people who shall not be named) and we did the best we could, and I am so thankful it worked out.
After having unexpected guests for over two weeks, we're back to just the four of us. It's a little weird.
Tonight all of the kids were here for dinner. K1, J, and Baby B, K2 & J (weird that both of my older kids have spouses whose names begin with J?), K3, & K4 (obviously because they still live here). It was pretty impromptu and the first time we'd been able to get together with the newlyweds since the wedding in a relaxed setting. (As relaxed as it gets in this house) We had a nice dinner, laughed, talked, and hung out. It was good.
So anyway...
Our weekend after Friday included a baby shower / cookout where I only knew three people. Kind of awkward, but I managed well. That Man always manages because he's not as introverted as I am. (Cookout and baby shower were for the same people, but in two different locations). We came home to a clean house (I know, right?), and silly kids. That Man crashed early, so the kids and I watched the new Evil Dead movie.
It was okay. I did like it, but I had so many questions that weren't answered. I wanted to know why and how and what happened.
Went to bed too late and didn't sleep in as long as I'd wanted.
Sunday was a gathering for my dad's birthday. It was very good. My parent's patio and back yard is gorgeous. They worked hard on it all summer to get it ready for wedding company. After that, we dropped That Man off at home and I took the kids shopping for school clothes. (We're a little late, but they had what they needed to start.) Spent way too much money, but they got a lot of what they needed and are very happy. Finally got home to a very good dinner That Man made and writing time.
And that's where the weekend ended...
Today is Monday. None of us were ready for it. But now, Monday is nearly over.
That is all for now...
Behave!!

Still Crazy!!

Yes. It is still crazy here!
1. The visit - everything has gone very well. The kids have gotten along great. The adults have too. We're winding down now.. and it's sad. They leave Thursday afternoon. Who knows when we'll see them again. We've had a lot of fun!
2. Wedding planning - big wedding meeting last night. And the realization of how much needs to be done and planned. Plus, K2 is moving into their apartment soon. Crazy! We spent tonight going between apartment stuff and wedding stuff...
3. Tomorrow is my Friday! I am so looking forward to having 4 days off!!
4. Writing - what is that? Gah! I am missing it so much!!
5. Usual stressful stuff... not going into it... but oy!
6. We had a lot of fun this past weekend - family gatherings, drive in movies (Man of Steel and Star Trek - AWESOME!!), sleeping in, Father's Day food and fun.... I'm exhausted.
7. Finding out one of my best friend's father has stage 4 cancer sucks!! Her dad is so much like my dad! In fact, out of all of the older adult males I know, he's the only other dad I have! I'm sad!
That's all I have right now... I'm tired... So tired...
But... tomorrow is my Friday... That counts for something. Right?

Gah! I Suck!!!

Sorry about the long radio silence!! There has been a lot going on around here!
1. Bridal Shower - it was gorgeous and fun and beautiful... and the bride-to-be's phone was stolen, money was stolen... from my purse, and from my sister's purse!!! Some bridesmaids were jerks and rude, but all of that aside, my daughter had a spectacular day and that's all that matters.
2. Out of town guests - they're here (though not at the moment). It's been fun, and we're all aware that the length of time they're here is stressful. We've talked about ways to lessen the stress and are actively involved in all of that. We're having fun and that's all that matters. Plus, I love my sister-in-law and my niece and nephew... and yes, my brother-in-law, but he already know that and it makes his head swell! ha!
3. K3 joining the local barber shop group! He's so thrilled! I've yet to hear them, but I know it's awesome!
4. Summer vacation! Yay no more prying kids out of bed in the morning!
5. Lot's of funny things... you'll have to wait for them...
6. Wedding in less than 2 months!! Do I know what's going on? No!!  Will I soon? I hope!!
7. Me having some days off work soon! I cannot wait!
That's it for the moment! There's a lot more.. But damn... I'm tired...
Behave!!!

The End of the Holidays...

Or the beginning of the end...
The tree is down. The millions of needles are in the trash, on my porch, and stuck in places I'll find for the next ten months. Let's just say that dead thing should have come down at least a week ago, maybe even the day after Christmas. (But K5 loved that it was still Christmas here!)
The decorations have been wrapped and stored. Okay. Most of them. I still have dishes to pack away, kitchen crap to take care of, but I'll do that another day. The special "scary" Christmas box I use for my oldest every year has been successfully hidden so he doesn't find it to take it away. (It's from probably the 1970's and has the scariest looking little kids on it. I always find something to wrap in it for him!)
The cat is freaked out beyond belief. Her little buddy, the rat has been moved to a place that's not quite comfortable for her to watch. She came here after the tree was already up, so she is a little confused by all of the rearranging.
Oh... and it's still Monday... Hopefully by this weekend, we will have a new learner's permit in the house. Oy!
Now to write!
Behave!

What Am I Doing?

Well, lots of stuff...
1. Writing - My new books is set in a world without green. No living trees. No grass. Nothing grows, or has grown for a long time. The water is full of toxins. The food stores are running out. The heroine is a ranger and she doesn't even have a name yet. At this point, the hero is kind of a jackass. He is nameless, too. I'm still feeling my way around and not sure yet if it's going to be in first or third person. I'm digging it.
2. Organizing. I'm so sick of my house. I want to rip the side off and kick everything into the yard. Rooms need to be cleaned, painted, things disposed of.
3. Helping. My kid bought a place that's in need of some serious repair. Serious repair. We spent some time this weekend ripping out drywall and pulling nails. There is so much more to be done.
4. Getting in Nana time. I got to see K5 twice this weekend. She is so smart and cute.
5. Planning. Birthday parties, baby showers, weddings, other things... There's a lot in a short amount of time.
That's some of it. Most of it's good stuff, though tiring.
Behave!

Beautiful Day...

The wedding is over... The weather was gorgeous. The bride was stunning. My handsome son could not stop smiling. I cried. So did that man. It was just so beautiful and my kid is so happy.
Everything came together fantastically. (Yes, that's a hand painted sign to guide guests to the site). The decorations looked great, even the portajohn was decorated and pretty.
See: 
We had a blast! The music was awesome, so was the food. There were very few glitches despite us running around like crazy fools all morning. We had a time schedule and ended up a half an hour behind at one point. Thanks to some awesome friends, we suddenly found ourselves finished and in plenty of time. The bridal party was running a little late and there were some hair glitches that meant they were about 15 minutes behind start time, but it all worked out. We danced like fools, laughed like lunatics, and stayed up until 3am.
Then... we had to clean up on Sunday! Oy! We learned a lot of things during this whole process, one of the things was to find volunteers for help with clean up. There was a whole lot of work involved and cleaning up was definitely not as fun as setting up. By the time we got home, I could barely walk (especially since I dropped a really heavy mirror on my toe).
And... We will have our first grandson in January. :)
Behave!

And So It Begins...

School has officially started. The kids had good days, though I did hear "I don't feel good" as soon as I walked into the door. Oy. I hope it's not going to be one of those years... I have finished the 17 metric tons of paperwork I'm required to fill out, taken a much needed walk with that man, and have opened a brand new word document.
New book... SQUEEE!
First lines: There is no green anywhere.
The tree in front of the outpost is dead, its leaves dried and brown, though they still cling to the branches. Pretending. That's what most people do now. They pretend we aren't running out of food and starving to death. That people are killing each other for canned goods with no labels. That they didn't eat their family pet just to survive. 
All of that will probably change. I'm just trying to get the idea down. I don't even know the heroines name yet, though I did figure out she's some kind of cop.
Also, let me just tell you that wedding planning is an absolute joy. Not. Copious amounts of adult beverages are going to be required if I'm going to come through this with even a quarter of a brain. It's literally like herding cats, or jello, or fleas, or something equally inattentive. And it's 2 weekends away.
Maybe I'm foolish for starting a new book before this wedding is over, but I think it's the only thing that's going to keep my sane...
That is all for now.
Behave!

I Need Some Sleep...

Yes, it's after 11pm. I am going to bed as soon as I catch up with myself... I think it's been a week, or more, since I've managed to get to bed before 1 or 2 am. (and during the week, I have to get up at 5:55am)(Yes, I slept in Saturday and Sunday, but when you go to bed at 3 and wake up at 9...well, that's not really sleeping in. It's just sleeping more than usual.) Anyways... Things have gone crazy around here. The oldest and his bride-to-be have decided to tie the knot. Okay, yes, they're engaged, but the original wedding date was changed to "undetermined". With the January arrival of my new grandchild,(didn't tell you that one, did I?) they've decided to push the date up - to 7.5 weeks from now. My future daughter-in-law's mother is ill and I am standing in for her in many ways. Mainly, helping to plan the wedding. The wedding planning is easy. This kind of thing is right up my alley. I love it, but we're doing this on a very skimpy budget so it's challenging. We had our first planning meeting tonight (which is why I'm not in bed yet)and there is a long list. I have to get myself and my family organized to manage it all. My first priority is to get the project I'm working on finished and returned. That's a must and cannot be pushed aside. I'm making fantastic progress. I love this story, but it needs some work. I can't and won't set it aside because this is mine and what I need / have to do is important, too. I might have to get a t-shirt made that says that. Of course, I'd have to wear it every single day... I see a long stretch of 1 or 2 am bedtimes in my future... Behave!

Breast Cancer Sucks...

 Yep. That's me and my new look. Last night was the "head shaving" in honor of my sister-in-law.

Here is the before picture:

Over 20 inches of hair to be donated to Locks of Love.

Things I already like about being bald:
1. Very fast showers.
2. No hair getting stuck on everything.
3. Rubbing my head.
4. My sister-in-law.

The Bff shaved her head, too. And my sister and niece dyed their hair pink. (My sister can't shave hers because of her job, so she did the next best thing.) I also forgot to mention what I was doing to my boss and I think I may have thrown her for a bit of a loop this morning. She recovered, though still had a startled look on her face every time she passed me.
Lots of people stare at me now. I say, let them. Look all you want and when you get home remind the women you love to get their mammograms and do their monthly self exam.
That is all...
Behave!

On Resolutions...

I never make resolutions for the New Year. I will, however, make writing goals, but I specifically try not to make "life" goals. But...
I heard something, or read something, or something - I'm not sure exactly where, so if you said it to me, credit yourself in the comments...And I don't remember it word for word, either.
Anyway.
The gist of it was, that you never face something new - a new job, a new chapter in your life, a new year, without wanting it to be your best, without wanting it to be "different". Even if you simply want to be a better person, or enjoy things more, or do the best job you can.
I guess that's why people make resolutions - because it's new. And maybe there's a lot to be said for the hope in that. If you start something new with no hope that it will be different than the old, then how do things ever change? You don't, because you're stuck in that hole of "well, same crap, different time/place/thing". And that's kind of sucky.
Maybe I'm talking about two different things - hope and change - but you can't have good change without hope. So, maybe I do believe in resolutions a little - in the hope and the excitement and the promise of the new. Maybe my problem is with how resolutions are made. You know, the ridiculous laundry list of things that are either beyond your control, or are in your control, but you're never going to do it. Maybe you only say you will because you feel like you have to.
For example: You're a smoker and you know you should quit. You don't really want to, but on New Year's Eve you make a big deal out of quitting because you have to have a resolution. Then, by 12:05am, you say "After I finish this pack", then, the next morning your boss calls and gives you heck because you messed up the Davis account and you say "I'm so stressed right now. I need a new pack, but once that one's done, I'm done too". If you really wanted to quit, nothing would stop you. Stop lying to yourself.
I think that's what bugs me about resolutions.
But the hope thing...I really like that. I do have hope that 2012 will be an awesome year. I also realize some of the things that will help to make it awesome are things within my control. And that's what I have to think about...
Behave!

Changes...

I've already mentioned some of the changes that will be going on around here for 2012. Weddings, engagement parties...Oh, and there are the milestone birthdays...3 of them...to consider. (K2 turns 21. K3 turns 16. K4 turns 13. And that's just in my immediate family - there are also a few 40's and more milestone birthdays and anniversaries than I can even remember at the moment)
In addition to all of that, I have - just today - been elected to oversee my local writing chapter as president.
Now, I've been vice-president for four years now, so it's a natural step. I only have one more year to serve on the board before I have to take a two year break. I am honored (even though I ran unopposed). There are big shoes to fill. I don't even think I can come close to our current/former president. In fact, I know I can't.
But I will do my best to be a good president in my own way.
One of my biggest problems is my terror of public speaking...
I'd gotten over this many, many moons ago because I was forced to. Years and years at home with no one but the spawn to speak to retracted all of the progress I'd made. That's not a bad thing, but now I find myself barely able to say the things I want to say when I have to stand up. I can talk to a group of people and be intelligent and effective, but the second I have to stand I turn into an idiot. So...I'm going to work on that. Maybe I'll be a "sit down" president for a while.
What's good is that I love my chapter. I love the people - my friends. I love writing. I love meeting day.
I will manage this. I will overcome my obstacles and be an effective (mostly unfunny president). Cool thing is that I have an awesome VP (I don't think she has any idea what she's just gotten herself into!) and almost all of the previous board remains the same, so that's going to help.
It's going to be a great year regardless of my lack of speaking skills. And a busy one!
That is all for now...
Behave!

Moving On...

We're moving on around here...
Moving out of elementary school for good and going to middle school.
Moving out of middle school and going to high school.
This will be the first time in 17 years that we have not had a child in elementary school. Wow.
Tonight was 8th grade "graduation" - only they don't call it that.
It was everything a "graduation" should be - long, with unnecessary speaking, hooting and hollering from the crowd, and a huge crowd.
I almost cried.
And I feel very old...

Summer is about to start around here and I will mourn it.
I have traded no shoes and sleeping in for a work schedule and a steady paycheck.
I'm not adjusting well...

I'm sure I'll whine more about that later...
Behave!

Manic Monday...

I can't believe I missed posting yesterday. I'm trying to remember why I didn't...and I'm not coming up with much. I was waiting for the snow that didn't come. Fighting the toilet paper-milk-bread-and-eggs crowd at the grocery store. Doing laundry, raking leaves, goofing off...
Anyway...
Today was my first day at the new job. I'm feeling a little lost and completely brain overloaded. I'm going back tomorrow, if that's any indication. I'm giving myself a couple of weeks to adjust and then I'll start the zombie book. I'm not stupid enough to think I can manage everything right now when I haven't worked full time in too many years to count. So...I'll adjust and then get back into it.
I'll be using the 'schedule post' feature in blogger to help me transition. And doing my best to get myself even more organized...not that I'm delusional enough to believe that's all it's going to take to adjust.
I guess that's it for today...
Behave!