Whew! Another packed week in the tank!
Here's the list, including the reason I didn't post this last night.
1. Surprising my sister. For real. She cried and everything. We threw my middle sister a surprise 40th birthday party yesterday. It rocked. My mom did an awesome job putting things together, including her and my dad busting their butts to make their yard look gorgeous.
2. B going back to work next week. It's been a long two weeks for all of us. He's going stir crazy. The next time he's off for two weeks, we'd better be laying on a beach somewhere.
3. Surprising K2 with her graduation present. It wasn't what I wanted to get her, but the offer was something we couldn't refuse.
4. My new phone!
5. Getting through Thursday and that insanity.
6. The baby wait. Things are progressing, but slowly. I've been taking my phone to bed with me every night just in case. She's due in exactly 2 weeks, but I don't think she'll make it that long. Though I could be wrong. The new guess is Monday - Summer Solstice.
7. Getting some writing done and wanting to get so much more done.
8. Having a reasonably relaxed Saturday stretching out in front of me. Have to do the grocery shopping and get gas and ink, but other than that, it's an easy day and I'm not sure I know what to do with myself.
9. Looking forward to spending tomorrow at the meadow with the Dads.
10. Sleeping in a little, though I could have stayed in bed for another two hours.
That's all for now!
Behave!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Things I Wish I Liked....
A random list...
1. S'mores. It's not the graham cracker's fault, or the chocolate (obviously). It's that darned marshmallow. In my opinion, marshmallows are only good for ammo.
2. Spearmint. No. Wait. I don't ever wish to like that. I have many bad memories associated with spearmint. I can't stand the smell of it. Seriously. It makes me sick just thinking about it.
3. Peanut butter sandwiches. I don't dislike them. But they're not something I ever choose to eat.
4. Same with hot dogs. It's a very rare that I ever eat them.
5. Woodpeckers. I mean, they're very cool, but I'm completely squicked out every single time I hear one. I'm not talking about the little ones either. I mean the huge, freaky Pilated Woodpeckers. *shudders*
Well, there's your random Friday morning list of weirdness.
Feel Good Friday later on!
Have a great Friday!
Behave!
1. S'mores. It's not the graham cracker's fault, or the chocolate (obviously). It's that darned marshmallow. In my opinion, marshmallows are only good for ammo.
2. Spearmint. No. Wait. I don't ever wish to like that. I have many bad memories associated with spearmint. I can't stand the smell of it. Seriously. It makes me sick just thinking about it.
3. Peanut butter sandwiches. I don't dislike them. But they're not something I ever choose to eat.
4. Same with hot dogs. It's a very rare that I ever eat them.
5. Woodpeckers. I mean, they're very cool, but I'm completely squicked out every single time I hear one. I'm not talking about the little ones either. I mean the huge, freaky Pilated Woodpeckers. *shudders*
Well, there's your random Friday morning list of weirdness.
Feel Good Friday later on!
Have a great Friday!
Behave!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Done For Another Year...
Today was the local annual street fair. You know the one I mean, the same one I moan and complain about every single year. Because...I don't like it. It's too busy, too loud, too dirty...I hardly ever go down because I can't stand the crush of people and the heat. And don't even think about driving anywhere. It's impossible, plus, you run the risk of someone parking in your private spot while you're gone.
Though, there are good points to it. We usually end up with company - usually folks we only see this time every year, and invited guests. It is fun to hang out, eat some food, and watch people go by.
This year was a lot different.
K2's going on a big trip in a few weeks. It's an expensive trip and the kids have to help earn the money and since she's working away from home my niece and I volunteered to fill in for her. Which meant getting up at a stupid time and going to help set up, rushing home to make brownies for the bake sale, sending the kids down with various coolers and other items, and then going back down. I swear I walked 650 miles today.
We didn't invite anyone to come over and hang today, mainly because we had no idea what our timeframe was going to be. The 'rents came over for a little while and my sister came to pick up my niece. No stop ins, or unexpected guests though, which is fine since we're completely wiped out and now must spend the next several hours listening to the neighbors party. It's always like that. Always. Most people around here take tomorrow off to recover. And I will admit, we've had our share of parties and noise - like the time my brother-in-law's band played in the back yard.
It's nearly over now. All that's left is the noise and clean up. I'm exhausted and a little frazzled.
So how was your day?
Behave!
Though, there are good points to it. We usually end up with company - usually folks we only see this time every year, and invited guests. It is fun to hang out, eat some food, and watch people go by.
This year was a lot different.
K2's going on a big trip in a few weeks. It's an expensive trip and the kids have to help earn the money and since she's working away from home my niece and I volunteered to fill in for her. Which meant getting up at a stupid time and going to help set up, rushing home to make brownies for the bake sale, sending the kids down with various coolers and other items, and then going back down. I swear I walked 650 miles today.
We didn't invite anyone to come over and hang today, mainly because we had no idea what our timeframe was going to be. The 'rents came over for a little while and my sister came to pick up my niece. No stop ins, or unexpected guests though, which is fine since we're completely wiped out and now must spend the next several hours listening to the neighbors party. It's always like that. Always. Most people around here take tomorrow off to recover. And I will admit, we've had our share of parties and noise - like the time my brother-in-law's band played in the back yard.
It's nearly over now. All that's left is the noise and clean up. I'm exhausted and a little frazzled.
So how was your day?
Behave!
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Answer!
Ready for the answers?
Here we go...
Things that are irritating me right now...
1. The toilet seat is broken. And, of course, it broke in the middle of the graduation shindig. Yes. Irritating as all get out and yes, we're getting a new one as soon as we have ten minutes to go to the hardware store!
2. The flies in my house. Yep.
3. Having at least 45 mosquito bites on my legs. Nope. I rarely get bit. *knocking on wood*
4. My cell phone being broken and the one I'm using not working right all of the time. Yes! My new one will be here tomorrow.
5. How sticky everything feels with this humidity. Yes.
6. Telephone calls that aren't for us from people who refuse to believe we're not who they want us to be. Yes. How irritating is that?
7. Being conned into working a booth during our town's street fair this week. Believe it or not...and I know how hard it is to believe, yes. I am working it. I don't want to, but it's for a good cause.
8. Waking up to find a spider crawling over my face. Ewww! Not that I'm aware of.
9. Having to suck the water out of my mother-in-laws car a second time. She either has a leak or keeps leaving her window down - not sure which. Yes. Still don't know what's up with that.
10. Finding out the neighbors have been feeding my dog all kind of things she should not eat. No wonder she's been having trouble. No. Though I would not be surprised to find this out.
So there you have it. Back to the insanity for me.
Behave!
Here we go...
Things that are irritating me right now...
1. The toilet seat is broken. And, of course, it broke in the middle of the graduation shindig. Yes. Irritating as all get out and yes, we're getting a new one as soon as we have ten minutes to go to the hardware store!
2. The flies in my house. Yep.
3. Having at least 45 mosquito bites on my legs. Nope. I rarely get bit. *knocking on wood*
4. My cell phone being broken and the one I'm using not working right all of the time. Yes! My new one will be here tomorrow.
5. How sticky everything feels with this humidity. Yes.
6. Telephone calls that aren't for us from people who refuse to believe we're not who they want us to be. Yes. How irritating is that?
7. Being conned into working a booth during our town's street fair this week. Believe it or not...and I know how hard it is to believe, yes. I am working it. I don't want to, but it's for a good cause.
8. Waking up to find a spider crawling over my face. Ewww! Not that I'm aware of.
9. Having to suck the water out of my mother-in-laws car a second time. She either has a leak or keeps leaving her window down - not sure which. Yes. Still don't know what's up with that.
10. Finding out the neighbors have been feeding my dog all kind of things she should not eat. No wonder she's been having trouble. No. Though I would not be surprised to find this out.
So there you have it. Back to the insanity for me.
Behave!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Tall Tale Tuesday
So, my test was about being able to post from email. That's pretty cool and, of course, it means I'll be unstoppable! ha!
My brain is pretty much fried after the past week, but let me see if I can find anything interesting to use for Tall Tale Tuesday...
I'm going to try a different format this week. From the list below, tell me which are true. Some will be easy, others might be lies.
Things that are irritating me right now...
1. The toilet seat is broken. And, of course, it broke in the middle of the graduation shindig.
2. The flies in my house.
3. Having at least 45 mosquito bites on my legs.
4. My cell phone being broken and the one I'm using not working right all of the time.
5. How sticky everything feels with this humidity.
6. Telephone calls that aren't for us from people who refuse to believe we're not who they want us to be.
7. Being conned into working a booth during our town's street fair this week.
8. Waking up to find a spider crawling over my face.
9. Having to suck the water out of my mother-in-laws car a second time. She either has a leak or keeps leaving her window down - not sure which.
10. Finding out the neighbors have been feeding my dog all kind of things she should not eat. No wonder she's been having trouble.
So which are true?
Behave!
My brain is pretty much fried after the past week, but let me see if I can find anything interesting to use for Tall Tale Tuesday...
I'm going to try a different format this week. From the list below, tell me which are true. Some will be easy, others might be lies.
Things that are irritating me right now...
1. The toilet seat is broken. And, of course, it broke in the middle of the graduation shindig.
2. The flies in my house.
3. Having at least 45 mosquito bites on my legs.
4. My cell phone being broken and the one I'm using not working right all of the time.
5. How sticky everything feels with this humidity.
6. Telephone calls that aren't for us from people who refuse to believe we're not who they want us to be.
7. Being conned into working a booth during our town's street fair this week.
8. Waking up to find a spider crawling over my face.
9. Having to suck the water out of my mother-in-laws car a second time. She either has a leak or keeps leaving her window down - not sure which.
10. Finding out the neighbors have been feeding my dog all kind of things she should not eat. No wonder she's been having trouble.
So which are true?
Behave!
Monday, June 14, 2010
Testing...
I'm testing out a new feature. Well, not new, but I just discovered it.
Let's see how it works.
Behave!
Weekend Recap...
By the time I got home yesterday, I was too wore out to post any kind of weekend in review. Man, what a long weekend! Let me sum up...
Friday night: Finish preparations for the big graduation shindig. This included a lot of chores B couldn't do because of his bum leg. Moving stuff, cleaning things...but it got done and I was thrilled.
Saturday: Up early to do the shopping for the big graduation shindig. Finished the house cleaning, luckily there wasn't a lot. Cooking. Rearranging the patio and setting up. People began arriving a little before noon and our last guest left a little after 10pm. Long day. Nearly twenty pounds of taco meat gone, but I think everyone had a good time. Also, sometime during the day, my cell phone crapped out on me. I have no display screen whatsoever and wasn't getting calls.
Sunday: Up early again. Baby shower preparations. Rain. A lot of it. I think I spent more time wet than not. Help decorate and prepare for the shower. The shower went well, despite the weather. K1 and S weren't as surprised as they should have been. It took them hours to open the gifts and then we hauled it back to their place. Didn't get home until way late. Exhausted beyond belief.
Today: Up early one more time. Obligations. Dead battery in the phone I was using. Not a charger in sight. Borrowed a phone, but still not getting calls. Working on that one. Got a call from K1 right before the phone battery died. My granddaughter may be arriving sooner than her due date according to their doctor visit today. I definitely need to get this cell phone problem worked out as soon as possible. Probably after our meeting tonight.
Tomorrow? Hopefully sleeping in a little providing I don't get called to the hospital tonight.
That is all for now.
Behave!
Friday night: Finish preparations for the big graduation shindig. This included a lot of chores B couldn't do because of his bum leg. Moving stuff, cleaning things...but it got done and I was thrilled.
Saturday: Up early to do the shopping for the big graduation shindig. Finished the house cleaning, luckily there wasn't a lot. Cooking. Rearranging the patio and setting up. People began arriving a little before noon and our last guest left a little after 10pm. Long day. Nearly twenty pounds of taco meat gone, but I think everyone had a good time. Also, sometime during the day, my cell phone crapped out on me. I have no display screen whatsoever and wasn't getting calls.
Sunday: Up early again. Baby shower preparations. Rain. A lot of it. I think I spent more time wet than not. Help decorate and prepare for the shower. The shower went well, despite the weather. K1 and S weren't as surprised as they should have been. It took them hours to open the gifts and then we hauled it back to their place. Didn't get home until way late. Exhausted beyond belief.
Today: Up early one more time. Obligations. Dead battery in the phone I was using. Not a charger in sight. Borrowed a phone, but still not getting calls. Working on that one. Got a call from K1 right before the phone battery died. My granddaughter may be arriving sooner than her due date according to their doctor visit today. I definitely need to get this cell phone problem worked out as soon as possible. Probably after our meeting tonight.
Tomorrow? Hopefully sleeping in a little providing I don't get called to the hospital tonight.
That is all for now.
Behave!
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Tomorrow...
...I will give you the weekend lowdown!
Too tired right now, and I feel a little bit like the mamma opossum, but it a good way.
Behave!
Too tired right now, and I feel a little bit like the mamma opossum, but it a good way.
Behave!
Friday, June 11, 2010
Feel Good Friday
Getting this in under the wire.
So here's the list:
1. B doing okay since his surgery. He's still in some pain, but improving every day.
2. After running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I'm nearly ready for tomorrow's graduation festivities. Grocery store, cooking, and a few last minute things to do, but I'm nearly there.
3. The kids (all but K2) getting their rooms cleaned. There's a lot of trash, but I am thrilled with how well they did. The house feels so much lighter and I know that doesn't make much sense.
4. My kid graduating. Yes, that's a no brainer.
5. The weekend. Man, do I need it.
That is all for now!
Graduation party update tomorrow!
Behave!
So here's the list:
1. B doing okay since his surgery. He's still in some pain, but improving every day.
2. After running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I'm nearly ready for tomorrow's graduation festivities. Grocery store, cooking, and a few last minute things to do, but I'm nearly there.
3. The kids (all but K2) getting their rooms cleaned. There's a lot of trash, but I am thrilled with how well they did. The house feels so much lighter and I know that doesn't make much sense.
4. My kid graduating. Yes, that's a no brainer.
5. The weekend. Man, do I need it.
That is all for now!
Graduation party update tomorrow!
Behave!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Random Thursday Stuff
Where to begin?
1. Lots of cleaning going on around here today. K1 is packing up to move out. His mess is immense. There are boxes in my living room, boxes in the hall, trash everywhere. We're also in the throes of getting ready for the weekend graduation shindig. Progress is being made. But it doesn't look like it. At all.
2. Tonight was a big scout event. Court of Honor. This year was somewhat low key since it's kind of late in the scouting year and all of the awards had already been given out, but it still needed to be done. As a treat, B arranged for the boys to make a huge ice cream sundae. As in an 8 foot section of trough and a three gallon container of ice cream. They demolished the ice cream, eating the mess of toppings and ice cream from the trough without spoons. Pretty funny.
3. This morning K4 woke me to tell me the dog pooped in her room overnight. The dog never does that. The only thing we can figure is she didn't go yesterday. Apparently she refused to leave the porch when she should have been taking care of business. Then, this afternoon, the cat barfed in her room. She's pretty ticked considering she just cleaned her room.
4. B's in some serious pain today. Seems the third day postop is way worse than the first or second, despite him taking it really, really easy. Everyone assures him it's normal. He hates it. I've stopped asking him how he's feeling because I get an array of smart-assed answers.
And that's all I can think of right now. I'm considering doing some rennovations to the old blog. Don't be shocked if things are a little different within the next few days.
Behave!
1. Lots of cleaning going on around here today. K1 is packing up to move out. His mess is immense. There are boxes in my living room, boxes in the hall, trash everywhere. We're also in the throes of getting ready for the weekend graduation shindig. Progress is being made. But it doesn't look like it. At all.
2. Tonight was a big scout event. Court of Honor. This year was somewhat low key since it's kind of late in the scouting year and all of the awards had already been given out, but it still needed to be done. As a treat, B arranged for the boys to make a huge ice cream sundae. As in an 8 foot section of trough and a three gallon container of ice cream. They demolished the ice cream, eating the mess of toppings and ice cream from the trough without spoons. Pretty funny.
3. This morning K4 woke me to tell me the dog pooped in her room overnight. The dog never does that. The only thing we can figure is she didn't go yesterday. Apparently she refused to leave the porch when she should have been taking care of business. Then, this afternoon, the cat barfed in her room. She's pretty ticked considering she just cleaned her room.
4. B's in some serious pain today. Seems the third day postop is way worse than the first or second, despite him taking it really, really easy. Everyone assures him it's normal. He hates it. I've stopped asking him how he's feeling because I get an array of smart-assed answers.
And that's all I can think of right now. I'm considering doing some rennovations to the old blog. Don't be shocked if things are a little different within the next few days.
Behave!
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
Oops!
Can you believe I just now remembered it's Wednesday? Totally missed Tall Tale Tuesday this week. I'll pick it back up next week. Maybe I'll have some good ones after this week.
Raining here. Kind of nice. The temps are lower, which is also nice. Lots of stuff going on. B's doing well after his knee surgery. Lots of ice and grumbling because he's down for the count.
Bedrooms are getting cleaned. Things are getting prepared for the big graduation party this weekend. Tomorrow will be busy, for sure.
That's it for today. Exhaustion has settled in.
Behave!
Raining here. Kind of nice. The temps are lower, which is also nice. Lots of stuff going on. B's doing well after his knee surgery. Lots of ice and grumbling because he's down for the count.
Bedrooms are getting cleaned. Things are getting prepared for the big graduation party this weekend. Tomorrow will be busy, for sure.
That's it for today. Exhaustion has settled in.
Behave!
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
A New Chapter...
So my girl graduated last night.
I knew I was going to cry. And I did. It's amazing to me that she's closed this part of her life when I swear she was just a toddler two weeks ago. I sat there, stunned, proud, and nearly overwhelmed with emotion and excitement for her. She managed to graduated with a very fine gpa and even received an award (though we have no idea what it is yet since she missed the ceremony due to the camp counselor gig).
Once we got home, she packed the rest of her stuff and went back to camp. I have to admit I was a little sad about that, but the training portion of the job is important. And, I guess I need to deal with her being gone. Because she will be. Pretty much from here on. After camp is college, after college is a life not lived with her parents. And I'm okay with that. I am. But that doesn't mean I won't miss her, that I don't already miss her.
Now...where are my tissues?
Behave
I knew I was going to cry. And I did. It's amazing to me that she's closed this part of her life when I swear she was just a toddler two weeks ago. I sat there, stunned, proud, and nearly overwhelmed with emotion and excitement for her. She managed to graduated with a very fine gpa and even received an award (though we have no idea what it is yet since she missed the ceremony due to the camp counselor gig).
Once we got home, she packed the rest of her stuff and went back to camp. I have to admit I was a little sad about that, but the training portion of the job is important. And, I guess I need to deal with her being gone. Because she will be. Pretty much from here on. After camp is college, after college is a life not lived with her parents. And I'm okay with that. I am. But that doesn't mean I won't miss her, that I don't already miss her.
Now...where are my tissues?
Behave
Monday, June 07, 2010
Monday Random
Tonight is graduation. I'm heading to the store in a few to stock up on tissue for B and I. We'll both need them. Luckily, today is forecast to be a little cooler than yesterday, so we might not die in the heat of the auditorium like I was told. I guess I should find something appropriate to wear as well.
K2 returned from her camp training late last night. Not only did she park me in this morning, but she made so much noise I'm surprised the entire house didn't wake up. She woke early for graduation practice and had so much to tell me that since she left, my ears are ringing. She's bruised and sore from all of the high adventure training they did, and has no voice. And then she tells me this...
Apparently, for some reason, (and I'm not sure what that reason is, either solidarity among the counselors or because they're all idiots) they each swallow one of those capsules that contains the foam animal (the ones you put in water and watch your little foam creature emerge). Then, when it comes out, they put it in a baggie and take it back to camp, or have someone verify that they did indeed pass it. Sounds gross and somewhat dangerous to me. I can't believe she did it and I'm still mortified!
So, I'm feeling a little melancholy today. My baby girl is moving on (and being gross). Expect a sappy post at some point later. Oh, and tomorrow is the last day of school for the other K's. And B's knee surgery. Summer Survival here we go!
Behave!
K2 returned from her camp training late last night. Not only did she park me in this morning, but she made so much noise I'm surprised the entire house didn't wake up. She woke early for graduation practice and had so much to tell me that since she left, my ears are ringing. She's bruised and sore from all of the high adventure training they did, and has no voice. And then she tells me this...
Apparently, for some reason, (and I'm not sure what that reason is, either solidarity among the counselors or because they're all idiots) they each swallow one of those capsules that contains the foam animal (the ones you put in water and watch your little foam creature emerge). Then, when it comes out, they put it in a baggie and take it back to camp, or have someone verify that they did indeed pass it. Sounds gross and somewhat dangerous to me. I can't believe she did it and I'm still mortified!
So, I'm feeling a little melancholy today. My baby girl is moving on (and being gross). Expect a sappy post at some point later. Oh, and tomorrow is the last day of school for the other K's. And B's knee surgery. Summer Survival here we go!
Behave!
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Why It Matters...
Today was my monthly RWA chapter meeting. I looked forward to it with a mixture of hope and dread. Hope because I love these people. They're my writing family. They get me (even if they think I'm weird, especially when I talk about mimes.). The dread was because I've been in crisis mode lately. Yes, again. Or maybe, still. Definitely still.
I've been analyzing the way I've felt and am feeling quite a bit the past few days and today really did help put things into perspective, though I'm still a little ways from being healed. Over the past few months, I've dealt with several major blows. Okay, a lot of them. And we're only talking career-wise, not the trauma and turmoil that's gone on in my house. I picture myself as a cockroach under the heel of a steel-toed work boot. Crushed. Or like a dragonfly and my wings have been pulled off. I work hard at my writing career because I want it so badly. I know I can maintain a long term career. I know I can be a full time author even with my hectic family life. And, like I said, I want it.
In my crushed state, I didn't/don't care. I don't write. I don't think about it, except with a grimness that scares the crap out of me. I even gave myself permission to quit, but the very thought filled me with a dark sickness that didn't leave until I decided that idea was ludicrous. Knowing I can't quit does help, but it doesn't propel me to the keyboard except to play the treasure hunting game I'm enamored with. I open the document, move my cursor to the right line and...stall. I re-read the short story I'm working on and get to the portion where I need to add more words and I stall. I wonder what the point is, why I try so hard, why I keep coming back to something that continuously beats me to a bloody emotional pulp.
We had a pep talk session at the meeting, because I'm not the only one struggling right now. I wrote down a few of the inspirational things said because despite knowing them and saying them on a regular basis I needed to remember them for myself. Then, I helped critique a friend's story and as I was going through her pages, I could feel that spark. It was dim and sad, but still there - shoved in the back behind my emotional baggage and the chaos of life. I'd like to say I grabbed that tiny flame and how my touch turned it into a roaring bon fire, but that would be a lie. But I at least reached for it. I want to hold it in my hands again and feel its pulse. I want to hear it breathing. I want it to lead me to purposeful writing time and the joy that brings.
After today, I remember why I do this. Because I love it. Because I have stories to tell. Because it's who I am at my core. And I know I won't quit. I'll stay a cockroach even if I occasionally get a face full of toxins or the business end of a well-placed heel, because after all, a cockroach can live through a nuclear blast and sometimes that's what this feels like to me.
And, while I'm not full of the joy quite yet, it's there enough for me to purposefully nurture. I have enough back to want to do something - to reclaim what's mine and move forward. I do know that it's something I will never give up, even if I never get that publishing contract or the career I envision. And that feels significant to me. (unless the mimes arrive)
I think I might just be okay.
Behave!
I've been analyzing the way I've felt and am feeling quite a bit the past few days and today really did help put things into perspective, though I'm still a little ways from being healed. Over the past few months, I've dealt with several major blows. Okay, a lot of them. And we're only talking career-wise, not the trauma and turmoil that's gone on in my house. I picture myself as a cockroach under the heel of a steel-toed work boot. Crushed. Or like a dragonfly and my wings have been pulled off. I work hard at my writing career because I want it so badly. I know I can maintain a long term career. I know I can be a full time author even with my hectic family life. And, like I said, I want it.
In my crushed state, I didn't/don't care. I don't write. I don't think about it, except with a grimness that scares the crap out of me. I even gave myself permission to quit, but the very thought filled me with a dark sickness that didn't leave until I decided that idea was ludicrous. Knowing I can't quit does help, but it doesn't propel me to the keyboard except to play the treasure hunting game I'm enamored with. I open the document, move my cursor to the right line and...stall. I re-read the short story I'm working on and get to the portion where I need to add more words and I stall. I wonder what the point is, why I try so hard, why I keep coming back to something that continuously beats me to a bloody emotional pulp.
We had a pep talk session at the meeting, because I'm not the only one struggling right now. I wrote down a few of the inspirational things said because despite knowing them and saying them on a regular basis I needed to remember them for myself. Then, I helped critique a friend's story and as I was going through her pages, I could feel that spark. It was dim and sad, but still there - shoved in the back behind my emotional baggage and the chaos of life. I'd like to say I grabbed that tiny flame and how my touch turned it into a roaring bon fire, but that would be a lie. But I at least reached for it. I want to hold it in my hands again and feel its pulse. I want to hear it breathing. I want it to lead me to purposeful writing time and the joy that brings.
After today, I remember why I do this. Because I love it. Because I have stories to tell. Because it's who I am at my core. And I know I won't quit. I'll stay a cockroach even if I occasionally get a face full of toxins or the business end of a well-placed heel, because after all, a cockroach can live through a nuclear blast and sometimes that's what this feels like to me.
And, while I'm not full of the joy quite yet, it's there enough for me to purposefully nurture. I have enough back to want to do something - to reclaim what's mine and move forward. I do know that it's something I will never give up, even if I never get that publishing contract or the career I envision. And that feels significant to me. (unless the mimes arrive)
I think I might just be okay.
Behave!
Friday, June 04, 2010
Feel Good Friday
Ah! Friday!
Here's the list:
1. Getting to help out with field day today. It was really hot, but fun.
2. Sleeping in a little tomorrow.
3. My writer's group meeting tomorrow!
4. The crazy rain storm we had last night. Loved it!
5. Crossing things off my "to do" list - though each time I do two or more things go on. I doubt I'll ever finish a list!
6. Survey Monkey. I love it.
7. Maybe some time with my hubby later. I hope. (and not that kind of time. Get your mind out of the gutter! ha!)
8. School almost being out!
9. Upcoming events.
That's it for now. I still have a million things to do and kids will be pouring in the door any minute. Breaks over.
Behave!
Here's the list:
1. Getting to help out with field day today. It was really hot, but fun.
2. Sleeping in a little tomorrow.
3. My writer's group meeting tomorrow!
4. The crazy rain storm we had last night. Loved it!
5. Crossing things off my "to do" list - though each time I do two or more things go on. I doubt I'll ever finish a list!
6. Survey Monkey. I love it.
7. Maybe some time with my hubby later. I hope. (and not that kind of time. Get your mind out of the gutter! ha!)
8. School almost being out!
9. Upcoming events.
That's it for now. I still have a million things to do and kids will be pouring in the door any minute. Breaks over.
Behave!
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Thursday
What I'm thinking about today:
1. Our summer experiment: The compostable Sun Chips bag that is now tacked to the playhouse roof. We're seeing if it really decomposes as fast as they say.
2. Summer Survival Journal: Year Two will begin soon. Wait for it.
3. New 21-year olds are a pain in the butt.
4. Next week's terrible schedule. K2 graduates on Monday (sniff, sniff), B has to have knee surgery on Tuesday, the kids get out of school on Tuesday...and it goes on and on...
5. Flies: I hate them.
6. The grocery store: I hate that, too.
7. Leg cramps: last night I had such a horrible one that I now have a bruise on my calf. It still hurts, though it's getting better.
8. Coffee: I drank so much this morning that my stomach is angry with me.
9. My to do list: It's long and half of the stuff on there are things I don't want to do.
10. How high my grass is and when we'll have time to cut it. We might be bailing it if it grows too much longer.
That is all for now.
Behave!
1. Our summer experiment: The compostable Sun Chips bag that is now tacked to the playhouse roof. We're seeing if it really decomposes as fast as they say.
2. Summer Survival Journal: Year Two will begin soon. Wait for it.
3. New 21-year olds are a pain in the butt.
4. Next week's terrible schedule. K2 graduates on Monday (sniff, sniff), B has to have knee surgery on Tuesday, the kids get out of school on Tuesday...and it goes on and on...
5. Flies: I hate them.
6. The grocery store: I hate that, too.
7. Leg cramps: last night I had such a horrible one that I now have a bruise on my calf. It still hurts, though it's getting better.
8. Coffee: I drank so much this morning that my stomach is angry with me.
9. My to do list: It's long and half of the stuff on there are things I don't want to do.
10. How high my grass is and when we'll have time to cut it. We might be bailing it if it grows too much longer.
That is all for now.
Behave!
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
Answer!
1. B jumped in the kayak and paddled over, realizing it was indeed a human skull and finding the rest of the skeleton in the creek around it. We called the police and now our serene camping spot is a hot bed for a potential murder. They're hoping to match the body to an old missing persons case. Nah. But probably possible considering the hillbilly boaters that floated by on Saturday. Bad enough that we made the kids get out of the creek until they passed. They were very intoxicated - one stood up to pee in the water, tipping the boat and filling it with water. While that was going on, the other guy trudged to the opposite bank and apparently used the bushes for a number two toilet, and wiped himself with his underwear which he then tossed into the creek. They bailed the water out of their boat and continued their journey. Oh, and it was only around ten in the morning, too.
2. After the authorities came, we were told it was most likely a Native American skeleton washed downstream from the caves a few hundred feet away. The heavy rains and subsequent flooding finally dislodged him. It's a huge find and very awesomely cool. I'm not sure what they're going to do with it, or if they're going to inspect the caves for more. I want to be there if they do. (Not really in the cave though. That's too confined for me.) Nah. But also possible. There are caves and evidence that Native Americans lived nearby. Very cool.
3. Much speculation surrounded our discovery. We were just about to jump in the kayak and check it out when we walked a little further down the creek and could clearly see it was just an odd rock with other odd rocks piled around it. Disappointing, but not. Well, yeah.
That's all for now.
Behave!
2. After the authorities came, we were told it was most likely a Native American skeleton washed downstream from the caves a few hundred feet away. The heavy rains and subsequent flooding finally dislodged him. It's a huge find and very awesomely cool. I'm not sure what they're going to do with it, or if they're going to inspect the caves for more. I want to be there if they do. (Not really in the cave though. That's too confined for me.) Nah. But also possible. There are caves and evidence that Native Americans lived nearby. Very cool.
3. Much speculation surrounded our discovery. We were just about to jump in the kayak and check it out when we walked a little further down the creek and could clearly see it was just an odd rock with other odd rocks piled around it. Disappointing, but not. Well, yeah.
That's all for now.
Behave!
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Tall Tale Tuesday
Camping style.
Yesterday while goofing off with the binoculars, we spotting what looked like a human skull across the creek.
Which of the following really happened?
1. B jumped in the kayak and paddled over, realizing it was indeed a human skull and finding the rest of the skeleton in the creek around it. We called the police and now our serene camping spot is a hot bed for a potential murder. They're hoping to match the body to an old missing persons case.
2. After the authorities came, we were told it was most likely a Native American skeleton washed downstream from the caves a few hundred feet away. The heavy rains and subsequent flooding finally dislodged him. It's a huge find and very awesomely cool. I'm not sure what they're going to do with it, or if they're going to inspect the caves for more. I want to be there if they do. (Not really in the cave though. That's too confined for me.)
3. Much speculation surrounded our discovery. We were just about to jump in the kayak and check it out when we walked a little further down the creek and could clearly see it was just an odd rock with other odd rocks piled around it. Disappointing, but not.
What do you think?
Behave!
Yesterday while goofing off with the binoculars, we spotting what looked like a human skull across the creek.
Which of the following really happened?
1. B jumped in the kayak and paddled over, realizing it was indeed a human skull and finding the rest of the skeleton in the creek around it. We called the police and now our serene camping spot is a hot bed for a potential murder. They're hoping to match the body to an old missing persons case.
2. After the authorities came, we were told it was most likely a Native American skeleton washed downstream from the caves a few hundred feet away. The heavy rains and subsequent flooding finally dislodged him. It's a huge find and very awesomely cool. I'm not sure what they're going to do with it, or if they're going to inspect the caves for more. I want to be there if they do. (Not really in the cave though. That's too confined for me.)
3. Much speculation surrounded our discovery. We were just about to jump in the kayak and check it out when we walked a little further down the creek and could clearly see it was just an odd rock with other odd rocks piled around it. Disappointing, but not.
What do you think?
Behave!
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