End Of An Era...

I didn't renew my membership with the national writing organization.

There were many reasons. No, I won't list them. They won't make sense unless you are a part of the organization and have firsthand witnessed what's been happening since December (and before). I will give them kudos for trying to get things back to right, but I can't abide by being treated like sheep.

Anyway. With that change I also have no choice but to give up my local writing chapter. That was a HUGE decision because I have been a member for eighteen-ish years and I love my chapter! But, despite my love, I have come to the realization that I don't have anything left to give my chapter and I don't feel like I'm getting anything from it. (Not their fault. This is totally on me)

I was on the board for probably 13 or 14 years of my membership. I got convinced to take over being librarian within my second year (rules were different back then). I kept that job for probably five years before running for vice president. And then president. And then vice president again. I think I was secretary for a year. Maybe? I know I was never ever treasurer. But I pretty much did every other board position at least a few times.

I also ran the retreat for ten years or so. That ended. Mainly because the dynamic of our membership changed and no one needed or could afford the glorious retreat we had grown accustomed to. It happens. We started out as a young chapter. We all had little children. We all desperately needed writing time away from our families. And it really worked for a long time and grew and was absolutely amazing. And then, our kids grew up and were in high school or college or doing okay on their own. And we could write in the evenings and in our spare time, or if we were lucky enough to be able to write from home full time, the distractions were gone. Retreats were absolutely amazing and will remain my best memories ever!

After talking with my friends that I know I will see frequently regardless (well, I mean, once we can go to dinner or lunch again), we came to the conclusion that me leaving is like graduating from high school. You've learned your lessons, been bullied, and now are ready to strike out on your own. It's pretty much a perfect analogy.

I will miss my friends. I will miss so many things, but I know in my heart that I have made the right decision. So much so that I have written more in the few days since I sent my "goodbye"  email than I have in the past two weeks or so (since I realized it was coming up fast). As much as I love and have always loved my chapter, I feel like a weight has been lifted.

I can always go back. There is that. In the meantime, I have the lifelong friends I have made as a direct result of the whole thing - these are the people that I talk to nearly every single day. We text. We email. (We have our own email group - that's how committed to each other we are and have been for the past fifteen or so years) We check in with each other and we kick each other's butts when we're struggling. And we support each other no matter what.

I cannot explain our connection, but we seem to intuitively know if someone needs a hug or a push. And it always works.

Behave!