Well Then...

Yeah... Almost ten days again... No excuses except... whatever. Time is fluid and means nothing. 

I mean it's almost September already! The last I knew it was March! I have officially worked from home longer than I have worked in the office. Ha! 

No progress on the porch picture. Of course, I haven't really been trying either. 

I've been writing. Critiquing for friends. I did do an author event at the bookstore - totally safe - masks and distancing - and kittens. Sold a few books and got to talk to some author friends I haven't seen in forever. That was super nice. 

The porch is still awesome. Some things still need done. We're working on that. Can't find what we're looking for though. Of course, it's not like we really want to go actual shopping. Grabbed a few flowers at the home improvement store. They are fall flowers, but they match and I don't care that it's still August. 

Got to see K5 last weekend! That was awesome. She came Friday night. We walked a block up the street to the food truck thing one of the local churches does. It was horrid as far as waiting and the heat, but the food was good. K5's mom hung out and ate dinner with us. That was super nice. We haven't gotten to just hang out with her for a long time. 

K5 stayed the night. K5, K4, and I had to run to get sneakers and a few things for K5 for school the next morning. I hated every second of actually being in the store. It was weird. But we had a good time. That Man picked up Mr. B and the kids got to spend the afternoon together. They played in the hose, painted stuff, ate a bunch, and had a blast. It was really fun and the kids were so happy to see each other. We dropped them off at their respective homes and came home and absolutely crashed. 

That is it. 

Behave! 

Weekend Wrap Up...On Tuesday

 Yeah. Another week. It's been a busy one around here. I thought this posted on Sunday, but...

The porch is 95% done!

The big shrubs are gone. We just need to dig up the roots. And touch up some paint. And figure out the landscaping (that'll be a spring thing though. It's too late to plant stuff now.) And fix the sidewalk on the side of the house. And the fence. And trim our huge pine tree. And replace the screen door. 

But compared to what we've done already, that list is small! 

It's so nice to be this far done! I am trying to post a picture, but it keeps rejecting it. 

I will keep trying though! 

Behave!

Weekend Wrap Up

Sunday is still the same mix of sorrow and joy, so that hasn't changed since the pandemic happened. That Man has to go to the office tomorrow. I have to start my day super early. 

So let's wrap up the weekend, shall we? 

Saturday - 

Absolutely zero sleeping in. In fact, we both woke up super early and proceeded to torment the other much to the annoyance of the dog. She was not happy with our shenanigans at all. 

Got up. Coffee. Porch decisions. Waiting for the guy to come and look at K4's car. 

He was late. Had other interest in the car in the meantime. He finally showed. The money was paid, the title was transferred, and the car was gone before 10am. Whoot! 

That Man primed the porch. I went to do the grocery thing. We waited for the primer to dry, then hit the porch with the first coat of paint. Yeehaw! Neither of us were sure about the color. That Man still isn't sure, but I love it now. It dried darker than it went on, and now that the sides of the porch are also painted, it looks awesome. We have some more work to do - the valance, the landscaping, etc... So hopefully by this time next weekend we will be done. I hope. 

Signed my contract. Finished my edits and sent them off for critique. 

We cooked awesome chicken on the grill. Had a fire in the backyard. Talked to a friend I never get to talk to anymore. 

It was a busy, but good day.

Today - 

Slept in a tiny bit. 

Made an absolutely insane amount of zucchini bread. I mean an insane amount. My recipe called for 2 cups of zucchini for 2 loaves. of bread I ended up with 8 cups of zucchini. Yes. 8 loaves is what I mixed up. One is gone already. We were all dying for it and pretty much devoured the first loaf that came out of the oven. 

That Man is taking one to work tomorrow. We also put a bunch of batter in a foil pan and made a "cake". In addition to that, I have four full loaves. (that's 6, plus the huge cake pan) I wish I would have picked up the smaller foil loaf pans when I was out earlier. But... next time. I was so excited that K4's best friend's mom sent the zucchini home for me! I think I lost my head for a minute! Ha! 

We put the second coat of paint on the porch. Whoo!

That Man did some work on his car.

Made some awesome burgers for dinner. Laundry... blah, blah, blah...

Talked to K1 for a while. The boys are coming over on Wednesday. So excited! 

It's hot again. I hate it. It's decent in the house, but since the oven has been on most all day to bake the zucchini bread it's not as nice as it should be. Still better than being outside though. 

That's all I have for now!

Behave!

Okay. Now It's August... Feel Good Friday!

 Not sure how that happened. Wait. 2020 is insane, so even though I don't know how August got here so soon, I do know... Crazy sh*t/time travel! (I have not seen a single murder hornet in my backyard though... Just saying...)

But it's Friday. Again. 

So what is happening? 

1. Car one sold. And gone. Nice. 

2. Car two has interest. In fact, talking to a guy right now about it. I lowered the price, though it's definitely worth what we had originally listed it for. It needs to be gone, so we'll see what happens. We're not really willing to go much lower than what it's listed for now. 

3. We got the new Internet installed. No more cable at all. And such nice savings! The tech even took our old equipment, which was super awesome. New wiring was ran. We're supposed to get some kind of new streaming box. I have no idea on that. The lady told me about it, but I wasn't sure what she was talking about. Internet is super fast though and our family tech guy set everything up for us, which is sweet. 

4. At the same time #3 happened, I woke up to absolutely no Internet. We were supposed to have it until the tech came, but we'd had a major storm overnight which is probably what knocked it out. (hence new wiring). I worked from my phone all day, which was a pain, but the job got done. 

5. A few weeks ago I hinted about some good news on the writing front. Well... my contracts expired on some of the first books I published. The publisher actually closed under dire circumstances. (The owner died, everyone quit) I pulled my contracts and found that they'd expired 3-4 years ago. So I emailed my current publisher and asked if they would be interested in doing reprints. They were. And just the other day I got a contract offer for one of the first stories I published. It's been renamed and will be re-edited (again), but I am so excited. I have an additional book currently undergoing edits, too. And I hope we have the same good news from that one. I will post more info once I have everything set!

6. Editing the next story! I am halfway through with entering the changes I found. Once done, I will send it out for critique before sending it to my editor! 

7. We are hoping to do the final painting on the porch this weekend. The humidity and heat have pretty much stopped us in our tracks. The primer has to be done under a ridiculously low humidity and temperature level. It's like these people who make this paint don't live in our state! Ha! We are So. Close. to being done...

8. Ordering food this week. It showed up hot and on time and was cheaper than actually going to the restaurant. It was a good break from cooking/cleaning up. 

9. The hope of sleeping in tomorrow. 

10. Oh and the Venting Things post from the other week. Nothing has changed. There's no access for them to see my posts now, or then. I have triple checked it with multiple sources. But Geeze. I think I need to re-evaluate this friendship and cut ties. That sucks and it's sad, but I just can't deal with that kind of stress in my life. 

11. Weekend... I know some people live in perpetual weekend, but we don't in this house. Despite me working from home, the weekend is still celebrated. Sleeping in is the best. 

That is all...

Behave! 

One Down. One to Go.

Sold the one car today.

Well... technically. I have a deposit and a promise to return on Saturday to pick it up.

The guy came today. Took it for a test drive. And despite the issues the car has, made an offer. He seemed like a decent enough guy. Wore his mask. Practiced social distancing. We didn't talk a lot even about the car. That's fine. I'm happy with how things are turning out, but I won't be relieved until the money is in my hands and the car is out of my parking space.

The other listing is not doing quite so well. It's priced quite a bit higher than the one that sold, so that's probably part of it, though it's listed as OBO. I think once you get past a certain price point, the dynamics change. Plus it's an entirely different kind of car, which obviously, has an entirely different group of people potentially interested. It's definitely worth what we're asking, though it does need some work (which is why it's priced how it is). It's K4's old car and it was good to her, just like it was good to my niece before her. It was maintained very well and has a lot of new parts, and even parts in the box.

Anyway... It's been a stressful day. We had a ton of hits on the first car. Mostly people offering stupid amounts of money for it (Like super stupid) and asking questions that were already answered in the listing. I turned my phone on silent around 10pm last night right before we went to bed. At 6:30 this morning, I had a dozen new messages, including pings from people who felt I should have answered them sometime between the hours of midnight and five am. Really? Those questions continued throughout the day. Oy!

I also managed to get my Internet upgraded after about three weeks of hassle. Don't get me wrong, I like our provider. They aren't jerks. Except they have been the past few weeks. I do understand. The woman I spoke to today is working from home, too. And long-story-short, she fixed me up and I am happy and don't think they're jerks anymore.

It was also one of those days where everything hit at once. My boss was needing things, my project managers needed things, the salesmen, too. Voicemails were coming in one after another. My computer keeps dropping the Internet. At the same time my phone is blowing up, Messenger is blowing up, and the dog is barking at nothing.

It is Wednesday though. Tomorrow will be a better day.

That is all.

Behave!

Selling Cars

We have two cars we're trying to sell.

It's a huge pain in the behind.

I listed them both tonight.

Within a minute I had a guy interested in the one. He came and looked at it. Said he was going to buy it, and then sent me a message when he got home that his wife said no. Okay. That's fine. I've had several other messages on that one - mostly offering me hundreds below what it's listed for. The last guy offered a ridiculous amount and my response was a simple "negative".

Whatever. It's literally been up for less than two hours, so...

The other one has a person interested, but he won't be able to come and see it until Friday or Saturday. That's fine, too. I told him we couldn't hold it for him. Since there isn't a guarantee that he'll buy it, it's first come, first served.

We'll see what tomorrow brings.

When I listed the camper it was insane. I had about a hundred messages, some of them repeating when I dared sleep and not answer them. But, the camper was gone within a day, so whatever.

I'm not expecting either car to sell that fast, but I hope they are out of here soon.

That's all I have for now...

Behave!

Venting Things....

I started this blog fourteen years ago and it's been of variable use to me. I still love it and am glad I have this forum to talk about ridiculous things and put things in writing that I might want to remember. It's my outlet and I have always have appreciated having it.

I had great hopes of it being one of the main ways to connect with readers, promote my books and events. Hence... Tall Tale Tuesday, and Two Truths and a Lie. Alas, times change and blogs seem to be going by the wayside in favor of other social media platforms. I hope it switches back to the old way, though I'm not delusional on that.

Which I hate. I'm not much for the main social media platform, as you already know. I'll post events, but I suck at interacting with people and keeping up. Heck, it will remind me that it's someone's birthday and I'll either text them or send them a private message because I don't want to show up on there.

Anyway... My point is, and I think it's one of the reasons I've been silent on here, is that I was talking with someone I considered to be a friend a few weeks ago. We were catching up and talking about this and that, and when I attempted to input about things going on in my life, I was cut off and told that they "knew" because they read this blog.

They proceeded to tell me that since they follow my blog, they feel like they know what's going on with me and that there's no reason for me to be repetitive and that I was a bad friend for not checking in with them more frequently since they already knew what was going on with me and I clearly didn't know what was going on with them. Really?

Repetitive as in how? My question was to the effect of do you really think I post everything going on to the blog? I hit the highlights. Some of them. Not nearly all. Never the lows. And I don't go into great detail. So how does that make you think that you know everything that's going on with me?

I was hurt. I still am hurt. Is that why we would only talk when it had been a few weeks between blog posts? Or what? Friendship is supposed to be a two way street. But the comment explains to me why I felt like I was the one listening and never had a chance to speak.

They thought this blog gave them a complete and total picture of my life.

Let me be clear in saying that it doesn't. It doesn't even come close. You can't say "oh, I read your blog" and believe you know everything that happened or is going on. You can't feel like you're connected to my life when you are getting the super-superficial.

I can't say I've completely parted ways with this friend. I've known them for a super long time and I do feel like the friendship is salvageable. I think I have effectively blocked them from accessing this blog. Which is for the point I'm trying to make. Are you really friends with me, or is it all about you? You only call me when I don't post. As evidenced by the call I received late last week. That I didn't answer.

The next time we talk, I want a give and take. A real conversation. Not an "yeah, I know. I read your blog". Because you don't know. You know the surface and nothing below.

Because I still love ya and I want the old relationship. (which means nothing since you can't see this)

I completely and utterly appreciate every single person who reads this blog. I know it's ridiculous and silly, but the fact that someone takes the times to read my bullshit and thoughts... well, that means a lot.

I guess my bottom line with this post is that... check in on your friends. The ones who post the crazy stuff on social media, the ones who don't post on social media, the ones that post pictures of their food and nothing else. Social media for most people my age is completely and utterly superficial. We still need read friends.

Thank you for listening to my venting!

And now we will return to our regular postings...

Behave!

Well...That Was Longer Than Intended...

You wouldn't think things would be that crazy...

They really kind of aren't. But kind of are, too. It's always something, I think.

What has been happening?

I have no idea. I can't remember half of it.

I'll do my best though...

1. The kid finally got her new wheels. After two horrible experiences. The last guy definitely had a conscience because he almost sold it while we were in transit to look at it. He told the guy that was there to give us an hour since we called first. So, she got to look and test drive. She fell in love and purchased it. She's got her own insurance and the vehicle is in her name only.

2. It's been hot! Damn hot! Air conditioners are running so we don't die.

3. The porch is still in process. The last trim color wasn't right, so we had to figure out what to do. That's on the list for tonight, so we'll see... Floor fixing & paint, shrubs, and some other trim work and we'll be done. It's going slow, but it's a huge job and there's limited time to be able to get stuff done due to the blazing sun.

4. Still working from home. No idea of a return to the office date yet. It's still going well, so there's that.

5. Our garden is producing tomatoes! Whoot!

6. Reservations being made for our September event.

7. Cool stuff on the writing front. I can't really share yet, but let's just say it was the boost I needed. The book isn't done yet, but there are some other things in the works. Just finished critiquing something for a friend, and then I'm taking care of a small project. After that, it's a much bigger project, and then another, and then I can finish the book. Sorry to be so cryptic, but I can't share anymore at this point.

8. Some book signing events coming back. Tentatively. I think at least four events were cancelled previously this year, so this one being on the calendar is awesome. I'm looking forward to it.

Other than that...

Yesterday was the anniversary of my Dad's death. I miss him. A lot. I wish he was here to talk over some things with. I could always count on him to listen and ask the right questions so that I would come to the conclusion I needed to. He rarely gave advice unless specifically asked. And if you did ask, and then didn't follow his advice, he never got upset. I wonder what he would think about everything going on in the world these days.

I'm trying to stay off of social media as much as possible. Except I had to list our old camper to get rid of. That was quite an experience. I had over 60 inquiries. A lot of people apparently don't read the description, or care when you tell them there's 40 people interested in front of them. They still ask for details that were clearly listed in the ad. Someone asked me if it had tires. There was a full picture of it with the tires showing. Also, we'd found a snake in it when we cleaned it out. I accidentally uploaded that picture and so many people commented on the snake... Some were downright funny and I appreciated it. Some were just weird. Luckily, the third guy that emailed me picked it up last night. He was appreciative and so were we. It's gone and having it stored at my sister's and in their way isn't hanging over our heads anymore.

Anyway - I'll refresh the social media page and immediately close out. Everything on my feed is ugly and I just can't do it. I am thinking about deleting my account and just keeping my author page...

That's all I have for now...

I'll try to get on here sooner than 10 days... Ha!

Behave!

Feel Good Friday...

Well... Here we are again... Friday. A day like any other, except with the potential for sleeping in tomorrow.

Here is my list:

1. Watching Jericho. I haven't watched this for years (like forever... at least maybe ten years?) and I am loving it. I am so happy it's still on Netflix. I just wish there could be more than just two seasons. The character growth in this show is amazing, but some of the stuff they do is just not possible and doesn't make sense, but I can forgive that. I do love this show. It speaks to me and it helps me write.

2. Ben & Jerry's canoli ice cream. Oh Dear God. I had to put it back in the freezer. I could have eaten the entire thing. I will probably have this for breakfast.

3. Getting words on the page. I've gotten quite a few tonight, but not enough yet. I am not pushing myself after such a long dry spell, but I am making progress and it feels good. I don't know that I will finish this weekend, but every word gets me closer. My friend made me take last night off last night and it did help. I feel more rested and focused and I found some back story that's relevant to where I'm at right now with the story, so that's good. But essentially, this story is a huge steaming pile of poo. Ha!

4. Getting to the bank. Finally. I have had several things to do there since before all of this Covid started. I forgot one damned thing... a new checkbook register, but other than that I feel pretty damned productive. I had to make an appointment. And they were super efficient and super fast. I had about six things on my list and I was out of there in twenty-five minutes. And the staff was awesome. I have always loved my bank, but I love them even more now. And, despite having to wear a mask, I felt normal for once in a long time.

5. A pretty average day job week. I was busy - busier than I've been, which is good. I did the training thing, which is weird because I can't be on the same program at the same time, so I'm training from memory, but it seems to be working out. And I'm training and have only been there seven months. And for three of those months, I've been working from home and making my own thing happen... so... It's all still good though!

6. Hanging with the kid. She kills me with her humor and intelligence. She has the most caring heart and a most compassionate soul. She is passionate in her opinions and beliefs and likes to debate, which I appreciate. She wants more cats, which I am severely opposed to. We have more than enough cats in this house. I did put my foot down, but I also know if there are kittens that need rescuing... ha!

7. My dog. She's a mess. My office is on the second floor and today, for the first time ever, she decided to check out what was going on outside by putting herself all up in the window. There is no screen there. And I guess it wouldn't really matter if there was. If she was determined enough, she would have busted right through a screen. But it freaked me out. And now I can't leave her in the office with the window up at all.

8. The potential for sleeping in tomorrow! When I plan to sleep in, I get up super early and am pissed. So my plan is to just lounge in bed for as long as possible. It's nice and cool in here. I have a television, my computer, and the Internet. I have a fire stick on my television, so I'm good. Ha!

That is all.

Behave!

Another Week...

Not much going on around here. Same old. Same old.

Work is work. It's still weird being home without That Man. I don't like him not being here, but him ferrying stuff to and from the office has helped me out a lot as far as things being done more timely.

The writing is not going so hot. I am so very close to being done with this book and I think the fact that I have been writing it for so long is what's holding me back from just pushing through to the end. A friend is giving me small challenges to get on the stick and get stuff done, and I have been doing them and I am determined to finish. I have a plan for the next few days so we shall see.

I'm not a fan of the heat we've been having. I know we're not quite at the hottest part of summer yet, and I won't like that either. I am super thankful for our new air conditioner we bought for our bedroom. The thing kicks butt and it's so nice and cold for sleeping.

That's all I have...

Behave!

Hump Day...What?

Today was probably one of the most unproductive days I've had since working from home...

I did get a lot of work done, but not nearly as much as I could have. Not nearly.

The server went down an uncountable amount of times. Then, just when we got back in around lunchtime, we were told to get out again right after lunchtime because one of the hard drives had fried. Then we were able to get back in.... and then the accounting software program failed and had to be rebooted, which took nearly the rest of the day...

My boss called during all of this to ask me to fix a problem. I couldn't do the research and have the documentation I needed. I couldn't even see his original email regarding it. I did manage to find an old print out that had part of the problem listed and began to take care of it from there. Now I just wait for him to respond... That wasn't fun. (and it wasn't a problem of my doing or within my control)

Then my buddy Fat Freddy started to feel insecure and decided that trying to open my office door and crying at the top of his lungs was the right thing to do. Nuisance! I had to go out and pet him and pay attention to him to get him to stop... I almost wonder if it's better to just let the cats into the office. But then... no...

It sucked.

They say Mercury in Retrograde will cause this. I'm not sure I believe that 100%, but WTF Mercury. Why do you have to mess with my work day? Jerk!

I miss That Man working from home with me. My days are too quiet. Though we could go hours without speaking directly to each other... It's still too quiet. I listen to music. It's still too quiet. I have the dog in the office with me. She snores. I take breaks. It confuses the dog, and she still snores. And it's still too quiet.

Ha!

We talk on the phone several times a day though. Today we Face-timed at the end of the day so I could tell him how to clear out the credit card machine. (the regular guy is on vacation) That call was hysterical because his left is my right and... ha!

I have more, but that's enough for tonight....

Behave!

Another Week...

Here we are at Monday again.

That Man is now officially back in the office. Things are getting busy and his boss needs him handy. Plus, his work space at home was very insufficient - even more so once things started getting crazy. I am still home. There's no word on when my department will go back. Some say July. Some say later. I'm okay either way. I love working from home. But I'm okay with going back to the office, too. We will see...

The weekend away with the ladies was awesome. We talked and laughed, played games, kayaked, ate, sat by the fire, and just enjoyed the break. I was nervous to drive the camper, but I rocked it. Everything was set up the way it's supposed to be and it was good. Packing up also went well. Sleeping was good because it was pretty cool in the evenings. It was a really small group (smaller than I originally thought) and it was good to get to know everyone I didn't know well. We had way more food than we knew what to do with. I made a cheese platter and a strawberry cheesecake poke cake, which was good because we hadn't thought of a birthday cake.

The porch is coming along. That Man did a lot over the weekend. We are super close to painting. Maybe even by this coming weekend. Whoot!

That's all I have for now. We got kicked out of the system for maintenance, so I'm trying to catch up on everything else. It's weird not having That Man here.

Behave!

Feel Good...Sunday? And Weekend Wrap Up...

I couldn't find any feel goods on Friday. I tried. I started several posts, but ended up closing down my computer and leaving it in the office. I was too raw and concerned. Nothing has changed with our friends since Thursday's post and I'm still sad.

The best I could do was get to the end of the workday and order some pizza.

So, I do have a list now...

1. Getting porch work done. That Man and I are super sore and hurting, but we're making progress. We got the upper outer portion painted and it's a huge difference. I'm amazed every time I look at it. We still have about 2/3 of the porch ceiling to strip paint from, and the floor, but every day we make progress.

2. Choosing colors for the porch. They are a "bit" different from the normal colors you see everyday, but will definitely put the house back to period appropriate and that's what we want. And no, they aren't gaudy or gross. I also found an outside rug for when the porch is done and I love it.

3. Cleaning house. I vacuumed, mopped, and did the things. K4 dusted, fetched and carried, and helped me do the things. We were an awesome team. And we knocked it out pretty quickly. The laundry is done, the house smells good, and it's clean.

4. Grilled shrimp for dinner last night. So very very good. Rice and asparagus as sides. It was delicious.

5. Zoom call with our Avo family last night. These people have been our friends for over 20 years. They were part of our brother-in-laws band back in the day and we hit every single show we could and became fast friends. Our kids grew up with Avo. We have had some of the best times of our lives with these amazing people. It was awesome to see them and have a real-time conversation. We talked for over three hours and it was so much fun. (Avo is part of the band's name)

6. Sleeping in today. Of course, I didn't get to bed until around 1am because of #5. No regrets, but I did enjoy staying in bed longer than normal.

7. Oh! And our car... We made our appointment to get our new-to-us car inspected last week. We went about three miles down the road to go to the store the same day after we made the appointment. The check engine light came on and the D light on the shifter started flashing. We did some research and found several possible reasons. That Man checked the fluids. We called our mechanic. He wasn't too worried. He thought maybe a critter got up there and chewed some wires. He agreed with That Man that the transmission fluid was gross and changed it with the "approved" fluids. We picked it up. Got maybe two miles down the road and the lights came back on. Turned around and took it back. He'd already bought the other part he thought we might need, but didn't want to put it on if it was just the fluid. He was so upset though. He kept apologizing and we were not upset and understood what his intentions were. He changed the part and drove it home and back and around town and no light. We picked it up and still no lights. We shall see... If that didn't solve the problem, the rest should be covered under the warranty. And yes, we made sure that we did everything according to the policy so the warranty wasn't voided. But still... geeze!! We've had the car six months and it's pretty much been in the driveway since March. (yeah... we know that might be part of it...) Ha!

8. Camper - That Man made a "deck" for the stairs today. Yes. The automatic steps need fixed, but it's a bigger job than he has time for right now. We need the "deck" so the stairs don't put too much pressure on the floor in the entryway. (It's complicated...) I am taking the camper next weekend for a girl's weekend with some crazy friends. I am close with exactly five of the ten people coming, so it should be interesting for me... I'm going to be the oldest one there and I will get to know the other people in this friend group. I have met most of them, but have never had the chance to connect, so maybe this will be good? I can tell you that this group of ladies made food for the family when our dad died and made food for the family when our mom died, and some of them came out and helped when we were cleaning out the house, so there's that. But our mutual friend is turning 40 (baby) and I am looking forward to hanging with these ladies and taking a break. And I am looking forward to sleeping in my camper and having the comforts of home. (bathroom! Whoot!)

9. In that same thread, hopefully July 4 will be a camping weekend! I hope. I hope. I hope.

10. Writing. I am less than 8K words with being done with this story. It's going well. It's going to need a crapton of editing. Like a metric crapton. But done is done. I am hoping to get it finished this week, though I am not exactly in the place I need to be to zoom to the end. But I am definitely getting there, so even if it takes longer than this week, that's okay. Done is done. And a blank page can't be fixed. I have many non-blank pages... ha!

That's it... Tomorrow is a work day. I need to get some checks written first thing and then we are heading into the office. I need to do a supply inventory and put away the stuff I ordered last week. It's hard to keep up on supplies when you're not there and the field guys are busy and need stuff. New challenge.

Behave!

So Much...

It's been a long week. 

I am done. 

I have seen families fighting and calling names over differing opinions and political views. I have seen relationships broken and damaged beyond repair. Families altered and now estranged because of a social media post and an inability to scroll past or at least offer a respectful response. 

Listen. I don't care about your politics. At all. If I like you. I like you. Most likely we can have a reasonable conversation about the things we don't agree on. And if, over the years, we've found that type of discussion is not good for us, then we won't have it. 

Actually, I would prefer not to talk politics at all. That's not why we're hanging out. 

That seems to work face to face, but when someone is hidden behind a screen, it's different. And it sucks. Just don't comment. Or hide that person so their posts don't up your ire. It's responsible and mature. 

And, just so we're clear, I'm not talking about racism above. That's a totally different topic and I won't have any kind of discussion with you, ever, if you think racism is okay. It's not. Ever. In fact, if you think racism is okay, I am probably not your friend at all. 

All of it just makes me sad. I know we're all sick of the Covid stuff, we're sick of politics, murder hornets, the tiger king, not being able to find what we need at the store... we're sick of how life has gone pretty much all year, but we cannot lose our humanity or our compassion for each other. 

Just scroll on by, for crying out loud. It's not that hard. Do not make horrible comments and call names to someone because their opinion is different than yours. Don't continually seek them out to further make comments. If you are that vehement about what they post, then do your research and have an intelligent and reasonable conversation with them. Or block them. The choice is yours. Calling people names makes you look like an *ss and makes you lose people in your life. And if that happens, you have no one to blame but yourself. 

I know people are passionate and can be vociferous when they are projecting their opinions. They are allowed. Just as you are allowed to post what you want on your page. It's their social media platform and they can post whatever they want. Their opinions might not line up with yours. That's fine. They don't care because it belongs to them and they are making that post for themselves. Not to you. Not to change your opinion. Or make you angry. Scroll on by. Or block them. It's pretty obvious that you're not going to change their opinion by calling them names. 

Like I said, it's been a long week. No, I'm not going to tell you what family I'm talking about. I highly doubt you would know them anyway. They are not people I ever talk about on here. My heart breaks for them and my hope is that one day they can work through this and be whole again.

Be kind to each other. I know you're a little cranky from being in Covid-land for so long, but reach inside and pull out that compassion. I think we're all going to need a ton of it in the coming weeks. 

Behave!

A Week?

I guess so... Humph...

Not much going on.

I'm writing.
I'm working.

I don't have much else...

Behave!

Quiet...

Well... except for the fire siren that has gone off twelve-hundred times so far today... Ha! That's not what I mean though.

I've been quiet. I was going to post on Mom's birthday, but couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't post on Facebook either. Just didn't want to...I think I said in a previous post that it's been a rough year.

We are supposed to move to Yellow Phase on Friday. It's weird.

Though a good friend's father is in the hospital with Covid. He's elderly and not doing well. She has symptoms and is awaiting her test results (he lives with her). That kind of brought this whole thing home and freaked us both out. She's an essential worker and has had to go to work every day through this. She's been worried about bringing something home to her dad. Though he could have gotten it through other means as well - the doctor's office, his therapist, his other daughter.

Looking forward to a long weekend coming up, though it seems weird not to be able to camp.

That's all I have.

Behave!

Feel Good Friday!

Let's get to it!

1. A brand new granddaughter! She arrived late Wednesday and she's beautiful and perfect. The whole family is doing well. Luckily, the had planned a home birth. She came so fast they would have never made it to the hospital. She also came on the anniversary of her Gigi's death, which has special significance. Now we'll have a happier memory to associate with the day and I can't help but think Mom had something to do with that.

2. Moving to the Yellow Phase next week!

3. Working on the camper.

4. Going to run errands at lunch today and driving the Jeep with the top down.

5. My downstairs staying clean and tidy since we moved upstairs.

6. Burgers on the grill for dinner.

7. Sleeping in tomorrow. We are putting the air conditioner in soon. Second floor after an 80 degree day is not a good sleeping arrangement.

8. Getting rid of $44 worth of one dollar bills today. K4 owed me money and paid me all in ones. When I ran into the grocery store to pick up a prescription and a few other things, I ran all of those suckers into the machine at the self check out. Whoot!

That's about it. Of course we will be home this weekend, but we have a lot of stuff to do...

Behave!

Five Years, Momma...

I miss you every day, Momma.
I miss our morning talks.
I miss any talk with you.
I miss your advice.
I miss your cooking.
I miss helping you with whatever you need.
I miss shopping with you.
I miss watching The Waltons with you.
I miss your random phone calls when something Dad used to take care of happened.
I miss family gatherings at your house.
I miss your optimism and your strength.
I miss the way you would jump in to help anyone and everyone who needed help.
I miss your hope.
I miss being able to call you just to ask a dumb question or hear your perspective. I could have used that many many many times since you've been gone.
I miss road trips with you.
I miss your face.
I miss everything.

This anniversary feels sharp.

Every memory is vivid and marked. Maybe it's because the days fall exactly the same. Sunday was our last Mother's Day together after an epic weekend of surprising you with an early birthday party. Monday was the day I called the ambulance. Today was the day you died.

I looked at the clock at the exact time, too. I did that several times today. "This was when we talked to the surgeon", "This is when they gave us the family room for our exclusive use", and so on... I remember heading back to your house afterwards and all of us just sitting in silence trying to wrap our heads around everything. I remember making phone calls and going to bed in the wee hours of the morning... not sleeping, but sobbing all night.

Next week, on your birthday, we had your services as requested by your brother and agreed on by your kids. The following day, we went to the crematorium and supported each other while the deed happened.

But I have also tried to stay busy today to keep my mind off of it. Only, like I said, everything is sharp and hurty. And I miss you so much.

Momma, I hope you and Dad are having a blast together. I hope you look down on us all and smile. I hope what I think are little signs from you all really are. You would have been 80 on this birthday. I think about that and how you'd be getting around, how you'd be doing, how you would react to what we're dealing with right now.

Actually we joke about that. You would be impossible to keep home. You'd always want to go and get more supplies to make more masks. You'd always be at the grocery store "stocking up" because you loved to stock up. You would be in your "helping" element. You would be going crazy without being able to see your friends or go to the craft store.

Oh, Momma. I know you're in a better place, but that doesn't help your kids left behind. I know you're there with your oldest, too, and I hope things are good between you now.

I miss you, Momma.

Behave!

End Of An Era...

I didn't renew my membership with the national writing organization.

There were many reasons. No, I won't list them. They won't make sense unless you are a part of the organization and have firsthand witnessed what's been happening since December (and before). I will give them kudos for trying to get things back to right, but I can't abide by being treated like sheep.

Anyway. With that change I also have no choice but to give up my local writing chapter. That was a HUGE decision because I have been a member for eighteen-ish years and I love my chapter! But, despite my love, I have come to the realization that I don't have anything left to give my chapter and I don't feel like I'm getting anything from it. (Not their fault. This is totally on me)

I was on the board for probably 13 or 14 years of my membership. I got convinced to take over being librarian within my second year (rules were different back then). I kept that job for probably five years before running for vice president. And then president. And then vice president again. I think I was secretary for a year. Maybe? I know I was never ever treasurer. But I pretty much did every other board position at least a few times.

I also ran the retreat for ten years or so. That ended. Mainly because the dynamic of our membership changed and no one needed or could afford the glorious retreat we had grown accustomed to. It happens. We started out as a young chapter. We all had little children. We all desperately needed writing time away from our families. And it really worked for a long time and grew and was absolutely amazing. And then, our kids grew up and were in high school or college or doing okay on their own. And we could write in the evenings and in our spare time, or if we were lucky enough to be able to write from home full time, the distractions were gone. Retreats were absolutely amazing and will remain my best memories ever!

After talking with my friends that I know I will see frequently regardless (well, I mean, once we can go to dinner or lunch again), we came to the conclusion that me leaving is like graduating from high school. You've learned your lessons, been bullied, and now are ready to strike out on your own. It's pretty much a perfect analogy.

I will miss my friends. I will miss so many things, but I know in my heart that I have made the right decision. So much so that I have written more in the few days since I sent my "goodbye"  email than I have in the past two weeks or so (since I realized it was coming up fast). As much as I love and have always loved my chapter, I feel like a weight has been lifted.

I can always go back. There is that. In the meantime, I have the lifelong friends I have made as a direct result of the whole thing - these are the people that I talk to nearly every single day. We text. We email. (We have our own email group - that's how committed to each other we are and have been for the past fifteen or so years) We check in with each other and we kick each other's butts when we're struggling. And we support each other no matter what.

I cannot explain our connection, but we seem to intuitively know if someone needs a hug or a push. And it always works.

Behave!

Happy May the Fourth...

...and we're still "sheltering at home".  We're at what 45 days now? At least for us.

Our industry began again today. They are well-equipped with safety gear and regulations. That Man had to be at the office early this morning to get everyone to sign off and recognize the safety supplies. The rest of us office people are still at home and will be for the foreseeable future.

I need my office space and hope to have it soon. I am done with the "coziness" of having my work station in my dining room. I want that space back. I want to be able to eat a meal at my table and I want the cats to leave me alone during my work day. Stealing pens, papers, chewing on stuff, and trying to remove my bank fob are unacceptable. And the hair! I brought a can of compressed air home the other day. We have so much fur in all of our stuff it was a necessity. Well, the first time I used it, it scared the bejeezus out of all of them. And then I did it again because I thought I was funny. I went to use it today because there is just so freaking much hair every-freaking-where and I discovered that they (the cats) had chewed the tube-thingy and it no longer worked. Ha! I just need an office chair and K4 to do some clean up in my office (her old room) and I'm good to go. Hopefully this time next week, I will be in there, despite it not being completely done.

It was a super nice weekend and I was so thankful! We worked on scraping the peeling paint from our front porch so we can paint. It's a terrible, terrible chore and despite doing very little scraping yesterday, I am still hurting. I did, however, do a lot - just not that - laundry, cleaning, making mac salad (thanks to my sister-in-law for the formula), making pickled eggs, etc. That Man, however, worked three times as much as I did on it yesterday and he is even more hurty. I also repotted a few plants and got some flowers taken care of. I need flowers though! And it's ticking me off that I can't get them right now!

We never got any alligators and The Wilds survived the flooding. Still waiting on word about camping. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

So now we have "Murder Hornets"!!?? What the crap is that? I looked them up. They are ridiculous! Who needs them at all? My only hope is that people don't see the cicada killer bees and think they are murder hornets. The cicada killers always live in my patio. They are non-confrontational and are cool to watch. They grab their cicada's and go back into their holes (we imagine a hobbit-like system underground, but that might just be a little silly). They are huge and scary looking though.

I did write tonight! I am so happy! It's been at least a week, if not longer. I hit a dead zone again, which is, I guess, normal right now, but not writing does not make me feel better about anything. I cut off at a point that makes me excited to get back to it and I'm not too far from the end, so there's that.

I also talked to two out of three siblings tonight, which is good stuff.  I mean, my brother butt dialed me, but we had been texting previously, so we talked anyway. Good stuff. I miss them all and can't wait until we can hang out together again. I also got hysterical videos of Little Mr. B. That kid is a freaking riot and I'm sure he's plotting to take over the world. I miss my boys!

That's all I have!

Behave!