Dear Other Neighbor,
Did you shovel that spot? No? Then don't freaking park there! Especially since you are now parked right in front of my house! I am stunned by how rude and inconsiderate you are. Stunned. And my aching back says some very bad words to you!
Get out of my parking spot.
(as an aside here, I normally don't get ticked off when someone parks in the spot I usually use. It's a public street - you park where you can and there have been many times that my guests have parked up the whole street and I know that's irritating to you, but it's not very often and I really try to be a good neighbor. But snow shoveled spaces are sacred. I think it's the ultimate in asshatery to park in a space someone else shoveled. I don't care if you park there to shovel your own spot. I'm okay with that.)
Dear Mega-Super Store,
I don't know why I keep going back to you. I try not to. We had to tonight because the m-i-l needed some things and likes you. Your shoe selection stinks hardcore. Why don't you have any cute shoes for girls - maybe not cute, but shoes a 12 year old girl would love? Why is your book section so freaking tiny? And why do you keep moving stuff so I can't find it and your employees don't know either?
I should quit you.
Why you gotta be so hard sometimes? Why does inspiration strike at the worst possible time, and why is there not more time in the day so I can do what I need to do?
I love you and I want to be able to do you full time again. (Ha ha! How's that for innuendo?)
That is all.