Monday, September 28, 2009

To Whom It May Concern...

Monday's rant/love letters.

Dear Coffee Manufacturers,
I love you.

Dear Four-way stop minivan,
It is not your turn. You just got there. Did you not study the driving manual? You are going to kill someone.
Stop it.

Dear E-mail spammers,
I do not have a penis. Stop sending me information on how to enlarge it.
I am not interested.

Dear Dinner in the crockpot,
You smell lovely already.
I cannot wait to eat you.

Dear Co-habitators,
It is not my job to pick up your dirty socks or your cereal bowl.
Remember when I threatened to go on strike?
Getting there...

Dear Work in progress,
Stop making me doubt you. Stop being stupid. Stop making me afraid of you.
I will win.

Dear Fly Buzzing My Head,
You will die.

That is all.


Darek@Orchid said...

Very nice post. Made me smile :)

Ava Quinn said...

You are too funny! Very nice!

Victoria said...

Thanks Darek and M3!

:) V.

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

Love it! :)

Victoria said...

Thanks, Nat! :)