Answer!

Here we go with the answers!
1. My transmission finally crapped out in my 'burban. Not yet, but it's coming very very soon. Very soon.
2. The neighbor's dog chewed a hole in three of my trash cans. Nope.
3. I hit a cat right in front of my house. He didn't make it and I'm still crying over it. Also no.
4. The cat pooped in K4's bedroom after accidentally getting trapped inside. Yes. Talk about trauma and drama.
5. I went to leave Christmas Eve only to find I had a flat tire and my spare was also flat. Yes. Except I thought the transmission had gone out. Long story.
6. The Christmas tree was nothing more than some dried needles and sticks by Christmas day. True. And it's still up. I'm not sure when I'm going to have time to take it down. It is forbidden for the lights to be on because with our luck the danged thing would catch fire.
7. The dog ate the ninja/zombie gingerbread cookie mess before I could get a decent picture. Also true. And she ate the cookies Bob was given as a gift.
8. ...and then she puked into the furnace grate. No, but she knew she'd done very bad things and she kept her back to us all morning.
So there you go!
Behave!