Tuesday, January 13, 2009

First Pass Finished

Whoot! I'm pleased. The story stayed cohesive and mostly makes sense. I have some stuff to explain, add, and smooth out, but on the whole I'm very happy.
Here are the final editing notes and a snippet:
Page 300 - Patrols passing. Show.
Page 303 - How can Olivia do that and why hasn't she done it before?
Page 306 - It's night again?
"Bodies covered the two-lane road. Bodies obviously dead long enough to be bloated and distorted by time and the elements. Jillian slowed, checking to make sure the doors were locked and the vents were turned off. This was a trap. There weren't a lot of alternatives. Stopping was out of the question, but if she continued, she'd drive over dozens of corpses."
Page 323 - More of Adam's story. What happened to Kenneth and Sandy?
Page 326 - Is the April thread too much?
Page 343 - Change spare bedroom/bath arrangement. Have Tessa be pissed that the bedroom is so small. Add to Frank/Tessa/Jon triangle.
Page 345 - Jillian hitting Frank - add dialogue.
Page 377 - Too sappy.
Page 385 - Explain Sam. Put April's section first. Explain why and what she thinks she has to do.
Page 392 - Dan's crazy speech.
So, there you have it. Now I start the harder work of smoothing/fixing.


Ava Quinn said...

Cooool and eeeeeewww all at the same time with tat excerpt!

lostee - a person who became disillusioned with the show Lost after the second season.
I lostee my frostee

Victoria said...

It is pretty gross. And there's more gross stuff, too. :)

LOL on the WV - too funny. What if you never had a frostee to begin with?

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

Yeah, ewwww, and I can't wait to read it!

WV: nothrom = one of the regions of Middle Earth that didn't get mentioned in the books because it's on the other side of the tracks

Victoria said...

Heee!! I hope it lives up to your expectations!

LOL on the WV - that's perfect!! That's where Gollum's shoplifting brother lives.

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

LOL! Yes! But someone worse than Gollum is skeery.

WV: whanism = a complaint said in a Southern-accented whine.

Victoria said...

Yes. It is skeery. He's one of those dudes you don't want to cross, too.
Though...I wanted Gollum to come back from the Ring's influence. It couldn't have ended any other way though.

HA HA - whanism!!! Too funny!

Ooh. I got a word verification this time!

ascodial - ummm, I just can't. What popped in my head is way too dirty.