Sunday, January 11, 2009

Sunday Snippets

Been working hard today, so thought I'd share some more editing notes and a few of the more decent passages.
Here we go...
Page 192: Why didn't she think of the cabin sooner?
Page 194: Why so many sandwiches? Wondering why what?
Page 197: Aunt Jane died too fast.
Page 201: Doesn't Jillian have calming powers?
Page 206: How did she get the tour permit and hook up with the woman?
Page 215: Use viciousness to their advantage. Vines.
Page 226: Rearrange news - how Matt go injured first, what's up with Jillian second.
Page 230: Tell when Olivia set up the cot. Wouldn't she know if Luke was injured?
page 265: If she's a seer why didn't she know Sandy lied?
Page 278: Why would she have a bucket of nails in her car?
Page 279: She should recognize her cousin.
Page 290: Experiments.
As you can see I've made a lot of progress today. I only have about 100 pages for this pass. Next comes the harder work.
Now for some semi-decent stuff.
"Luke had kept his brother from being in his head since Olivia left. He didn't need anyone else poking around in there. All this emotional connection crap was too much in a world where everyone you loved died."
"He let his energy flow through her. Her spirit was alongside his. He witnessed the darkened places of her being that might never come back into the light."
"Jillian had left her mother to die. She'd done nothing to save her when she might have been able to. Fear aside, she should have at least tried."
So there you have it. More junk for your brains. No one's told me to stop yet, so...


Ava Quinn said...

Very cool. I wish I had Jillian's calming powers. Really liked the second excerpt. So nice! Glad you shared!

You and Natalie crack me up. You check out my blog at the same time, and it's usually when I'm writing it!

forkerro - Figaro's utensil-handed half brother.

Victoria said...

Yeah, I could use those calming powers myself.
That's because we all think alike, I think!

LOL on the wv. That's too funny!

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

I think I'm starting to share my brain with more than one person. :)

WV: premingr = better than premiere

Victoria said...

LOL. You're not surprised, though, right?

lol on the wv!

Natalie J. Damschroder said...

LOL--no, not surprised at all. :)