Handy, dandy helpful hints...
1. Don't blow your car horn at 2 a.m. when you're parked in front of the neighbor's house. Really. Don't blow your car horn like that at anytime.
2. The only way to watch a scary movie is with all lights out.
3. Check the oil in your car.
4. Eating junk for dinner usually results in a stomachache, weird dreams, or both.
5. You should probably really try to find out why the dryer spits out your clean clothes smelling like burnt rubber.
6. The cat litter will not change itself. Seriously. It won't.
7. Spoiled milk is never good to drink.
8. Never eat stuff made with mayonnaise that's been left out on a hot day.
9. Humor can be found in most situations.
10. Pressing your car alarm button in the middle of the night is rude and you should not do it.