Ummm....you're seriously not holding up your end of the bargain. We're only nine days into the month, so I will give you another chance, but you've got to get your act together.
Dear Mother Nature,
Your time is over. Go away now.
Dear College Financials,
I am done with you. I mean, it seems I am never done with you, but seriously? I am tired of this never ending process.
Dear Supernatural People,
Two more weeks!! Hurry, please!
Dear Retrograde Mercury,
You can stop now. I am tired of getting the same email 65-million times when I know the person didn't send it that many times. I am tired of Internet glitches and haunted appliances.
I love you. Please don't die. I know you're old and tired, but I need you. Please start when I turn the key and stop making that noise.
Okay. That's enough for now.