Well..

I just made an ass out of myself...
Someone sent a "pirate site" link. I checked it out, and my books were on there. I immediately sent an email to my publisher and an email to the site to take my books down... and then dug into it more. Totally not a pirate site, but a legitimate site that links you to true ways to buy books. I feel like a jerk... I did sent an email back to the site apologizing and to my publisher, but... yeah... Not cool and way to look like an ass...
Lesson learned, I guess, though it'll take me a while to not feel like a total beyotch...Ugh!
****
We had a really good Christmas! It was so much fun to stay at Mom's Christmas Eve and Christmas night. K4 had a spectacular birthday. It was a lot of fun. We had a lot of tears and reflection, but we expected that and we endured. My sister made Mom a really awesome picture - the actual photograph that was taken by my niece the morning Dad died and she added words to it. It made us all cry. We did cry a lot. It was so weird to not have Dad with us, but we managed. We made new memories and will continue to do so. And we'll continue to miss Dad. In some ways, it seems to get easier and in some ways, it seems to get harder.
****
I had to work Friday. That sucked a lot. That Man had to take me because the brakes went out on the van and the headlight switch on the 'burban started smoking. Rude! Brakes are fixed, but now we need to deal with the headlights! Mom's house got cleaned up. (What an absolute mess!! Oy!) We ate leftover chicken rice soup for dinner (That soup is a Christmas Eve tradition.) and came home. I woke up feeling like a truck ran over me this morning. So did That Man, though he went into work for a few hours this morning. He then picked me up so we could go grocery shopping... OY! I hate grocery shopping.
Changed into my new jammie pants as soon as we got home and haven't been off the couch much since. I am working on revisions on a book I want to send to my publisher. It's going okay, though today was the first day I've written in more than a week. ugh! I've made decent progress today, but there will need to be another pass and potentially a critique eye. We'll see how I feel when I get to the end.
****
Next up is the year in review... It's probably going to be boring... Just sayin'
Behave!

Crazy Christmas Wishes!

It's that time again! Time to bore you with my Crazy Christmas Wish List...
Here goes...
1. I would like all of our vehicles to work properly and not threaten to die at any given moment.
2. I wish for a house that cleans itself.
3. And laundry that not only washes and dries itself, but also folds and puts away.
4. I wish to be home to write full time again.
5. And I want a cabin in the woods with a fireplace, a big deck, and a huge kitchen.
6. A bank account that has more money than I could spend in a lifetime.
7. To be the size I want to be without effort. (ha!)
8. A beach house! (Hey, why not? It's a crazy list!)
9. A college scholarship for K3.
10. To have a liquor cabinet that never needs replenishing! lol
There's more, but that's enough for now! Ha!
Behave!

Feel Good...Sunday

This weekend has gone by way too fast!!
But here are the good things...
1. The Bff being okay after a bad bad car accident!
2. Getting our tree and pizza for dinner Friday night!
3. Saturday's work day going by quickly!
4. Hanging with the family and the grand boy Saturday after work.
5. Sleeping in this morning.
6. Getting Mom's tree up today and getting some other stuff done for her.
7. Going to a surprise birthday party for a friend this afternoon.
8. My bed. I'm going there now.
That is all!
Behave!

I Have No Idea What Day It Is...

Time is going by way too fast!
There is much to do and while we are whittling away at the list, it's still overwhelming.
The shopping is started. The grandboy is done. The kids still at home are started. The kids not at home - there's a plan for that. That Man - also started. Others - well...
We're working on our plan for Eve and Day. And Birthday. (Gah! My baby girl will be 15!)
I do, however, seem to have a decent amount of holiday spirit this year. That's a good thing, though I don't have the time or the energy to get stuff done at this point. Ha!
2 weeks before the big day...
How does that happen? How do we go from zero to crunch time so fast?
It always gets done. That's what I keep reminding myself...
Anyway...
It's snowing here. Just a little. I love it.
I am writing. Editing and new writing. Both at the same time. It's working, so no complaints.
And... That's all for now...
Behave!

Pretty Cool!

My author page is up on Soul Mate's Author Blog!

http://smpauthors.wordpress.com/meet-victoria-smith/

I'm so excited!

Behave!

What's Good About Saturday...

1. Sleeping in this morning.
2. Online shopping.
3. Surprising my brother for his 50th and Graduation party.
4. Hanging out with Mom.
5. Making progress on the Christmas preparations.
6. Still managing to stay in the 50/50 challenge. (Yay, word count!)
7. Texts from my granddaughter!
8. Hanging out with my grandson and hearing him yell for his Pappy!
9. Coffee.
10. Mom bringing me snacks! Good ones, too!
That's all...
Behave!

Feel Good Friday - The Post Thanksgiving Edition

Yay Friday! Here's the list:
1. The day going by rather quickly at the day job. Busy and crazy, but fast is good.
2. Chilling at home tonight. I have a million things to catch up on, though 3/4's won't get done at all. I'm making progress on my list though.
3. Sleeping in tomorrow. It's been a while! I'm so excited!
4. Weekend plans.
5. Only two more days of the 50/50 challenge we're doing in my writing group. No less than 50 words a day for 50 days. I'm happy to have made it through! I've been writing and I'll continue, but I need to switch gears and work on something for Liquid Silver now. I know what I'm working on. I just need to chop it up and get it edited.
6. That Man doing the shopping and cooking dinner. Now he's cleaning up. Well, putting away dinner. The kid will do the dishes.
7. Getting a welcome email from my new publisher! So exciting!
8. Not running out of gas on my way home.
9. Christmas parties coming up. We have two in one day next weekend.
10. All of the stuff coming up! I actually listened to Christmas music on my way home from work! After the summer, I realized it's about family and fun and being with the people you love. Not about presents or spending money.
That's all for now.
Behave!

Happy Turkey Day!

I hope your day was filled with awesomeness and thanks!
We had a phenomenal day with the family! (Most of the family. K2 and J did their thing with J's family this year. We get them for Christmas, though! But it's K2's birthday today! And we just really missed them! I gave birth to K2 hours before Thanksgiving. I spent Thanksgiving day in the hospital and my mom brought me food because there was no way I was eating hospital food for Thanksgiving. I came home the next day and we had a proper Thanksgiving that weekend.) We had dinner at my sister's this year. It was chaos and craziness and a lot of fun and good food! We really missed Dad, too! A hawk flew over after dinner and we all knew Dad was watching over us.
Things that were awesome about today:
1. Hanging out with Baby B! He's so funny and so stinking cute! On the way home, he kept yelling "Pappy" and then he would yell in a really deep voice. He was also yelling for his Gigi (my mom), who was in the front seat. It was cute! (What was cuter was when we pulled into Mom's to pick up some corn and lima beans she'd forgotten on the way there and he started yelling for his Gigi.)
2. Playing "Cards Against Humanity" with the kids. They're not kids. I know. 99% of them are 18 or over. Which is good, because the game is so wrong, but so freaking funny... It's tag line is something like "a game for horrible people" - which in-itself is hysterical!
3. Thanksgiving Eve. Too much fun. Too much great music and chaos! Or not enough... Not sure about that. We were in bed at a decent time (which means... not too late or not too early), didn't drink too much, laughed our butts off...
(this list is in no cohesive order)
4. Well... Now it's Christmas. I'm ready. Bring it.
5. My sister has the best people in her life. I'm grateful for that. I'm so thankful she has R and his sister and her husband. I'm also thankful that R understands that she's still healing after losing T. R's a good guy. She deserves him and I'm so thankful she's happy.
6. I am very thankful for my sister-in-law's lemon bars and that she gave me the recipe!
7. And for the fact that the diaper bag was found...
8. And for being warm in my house. And for my bed.
9. One work day before the weekend. That's something to be thankful for, too.
10. My husband and kids... They're all awesome!
(Remember I said this list was in no cohesive order!)
... In other news...
Our "boys" need to be fixed asap! Charles is spraying. GROSS!! He's so rude about it, too! The fixing must happen like right now... I can't deal with it.
Ugh...
That is all...
Behave!

Random Stuff and I'm Sorry...

The suckage is getting annoying, isn't it? My apologies...
I will say that things are kind of getting more even around here. So, I should be able to at least try to post more often. No promises, but I'll do my best...
Lots of stuff going on around here...
1. We spent last weekend in Cleveland. K3 had an audition at a college for a scholarship. We dropped him off on Friday and That Man and I had a weekend to ourselves. K3 had a blast. So did we. We ate a ton of really good food. Hung out. Laughed. Slept. Visited A Christmas Story House (super cool). Walked around the city and just had fun being with each other.
2. Thanksgiving is the day after tomorrow. We'll be with family and friends. It'll be chaos, but I think good. Definitely won't be the same without Dad, but we'll do the best we can. The holidays are going to be different, but we have a plan and we're going to have a blast while honoring Dad. Despite Dad no longer being with us, our family does have a lot to be thankful for - each other, for example, and the relationship that has gotten us through this horrible time.
3. The days are crazy any more, but I just got word that I'm moving shifts. I'll be getting home a little early in a few weeks, which is nice. It'll be a while until I manage to get on the shift that's perfect for me, but it's progress.
4. I found my writing mojo again. My head is swimming with ideas and I'm making really good progress on a story I've been waiting to write for a really long time. I probably have six other stories in my head at the moment. And I'm so excited!
And... One of the coolest things...
5. I just signed a contract with Soul Mate Publishing for my haunted campground story. So very excited! This book will eventually be in print, which is super exciting! I am very happy to work with Soul Mate. I still absolutely adore Liquid Silver and am working on something for them as well, but I'm thrilled to have both publishers.
That is all for now!
More later... Hopefully!
Behave!

Oy! I Really Suck!

I know it's been a really long time! I'm sorry! It's been insane here!
What's been going on?
Crazy stuff!
1. My niece got married! It was awesome and fun and she was so beautiful!
2. My brother-in-law came in for the wedding and stayed with us! We had a blast! (Actually, he's still here...)
3. Awesome family parties!
4. Writing! My time has sucked, but I'm doing it! Loving the new story and wishing I could get way more words on the page!
5. Birthday parties, hanging out at my sister's - weekends that aren't long enough....
6. Even though it's super early, I'm looking forward to the holidays.
7. Talking to my sisters and brothers.
8. Feeling my new granddaughter move for the first time! So awesome! So excited!
9. My kids and kid-in-laws! I love them all and we've been having so much fun and special times lately!
10. My mom. Still the strongest person I have ever known. I'm so proud of her for how she's handling things - head on and up and front! I know it's not easy for her! But she's doing so well. The holidays are going to be rough on all of us, but especially mom. We have plans to all be together. We're going to get through the season together...
That's all... I will try to do better, but no promises... I can't even return phone calls like I should right now...
Behave!!

Feel Good Friday

So... I have no idea what happened to Wednesdays post! Obviously it was there, but... somehow gone?

Anyways... We're on to Feel Good Friday!
1. Awesome Beach trip! We had a blast. I almost got killed by a crazy raccoon (not really, but... I had a moment), we spent good time on the beach, caught no fish, ate out way too much, saw many of the places we have missed so much, missed all of the great sales we normally hit - so souvenirs were slim, had a pretty decent condo... It was just good! And so needed!
2. This dog... oy... She's in heat... but we're just about through it. This is the first time we've ever done the heat thing. It is also the last time. We purposefully waited to get her fixed due to many reasons... My sister's and our friend's dog have a bladder leakage problem from supposedly being fixed too soon.  We also dealt with that with our Abbie. So we decided to wait - a collective decision... like when were we supposed to do that over our horrible summer? She will be fixed very soon!
3. Well... It's 2 months until Christmas Eve. How crazy is that? We are all planning on spending Christmas at Mom's. We have a lot of work to do to make multiple air mattresses fit in the basement... But I'm excited!
4. This weekend is the "baby gender reveal"!! I'm so excited to find out about my new grandchild!
5. We're also celebrating K3's 18th birthday! EIGHTEEN!! No freaking way!!
6. Talking to old friends... So good and so needed...
7. Writing! I am! And I love my new story!!
8. Getting my groove back - in more ways than one!!
9. Catching up on The Walking Dead... Love it!!
10. Still missing my dad... There is no way around that. I miss him. I wish he were here. I wish things had turned out differently. I wish we would have known more of how he was feeling and his symptoms.. the things he didn't tell us... It's still rough for all of us... Every thing brings a memory and/or a regret.... Dammit!! But we're taking care of mom and that's what we need to do right now! None of us are complaining!
Behave!!!

Fall...

Fall is here! 

I love fall! I love sweatshirts, candles, blankets, soft socks, pumpkin spice, baking, comfort food, pumpkins, mums, Halloween, cooler weather, leaves falling...

You know...the whole thing!

I'm really far behind on the decorating, baking, comfort food, and mum thing... But it's early. Right? 

Yeah, I know, I'm about nine kinds of cliche. I can't help it. 

We have a lot of fun stuff coming up this month! I'm excited! And I'm ready to start a new story! So very excited! The story is forming and the ideas are piling in. I love it! My writer brain is not broken! That's a very good thing to know! 

Anyways... Sorry I suck at this blogging thing these days. I'm trying... my days go so fast right now. Too little sleep, too much to do, too many obligations...

Behave! 

Wednesday Weirdness...

1. It's October already! Holy Crap!
2. This time in 13 weeks, it will be Christmas Eve. You're welcome.
3. This time in 14 weeks, we'll be welcoming 2015. You're also welcome. And yeah... how weird is that?
4. My dog ate a paint brush this morning.
5. I think my cats are time travelers. Seriously. I go upstairs after seeing one of them in a basket moments before, and the same cat is sleeping on my bed like he's been there for hours. No kidding.
6. K3 has become a vegetarian. This is interesting. Not weird. We totally respect his decision, but meals have become complicated. Grocery shopping has become complicated. The only food I can buy without reading the labels thoroughly is dog and cat food.
7. My laundry is 99% caught up. For right now. I think that's a first in about 5 months!
8. Finding out I had a 4 star review of Sheltered on Amazon! Whoot! (and only weird because it was a month ago!)
9. This week! Really? My neck is killing me. I'm exhausted. Work is crazy busy. I'm working OT right now, so there is no time left in my day...
10. And... I had an awesome story idea today. Out of the blue. It's only weird because I really thought my brain was broken! Apparently, it's not! Yay!!! I'm letting it form and grow right now, but I think I can make it work! Awesome!
That is all! See # 9 regarding being exhausted!
Behave!!

Feel Good Friday - The Sunday Edition

Oy! It's Sunday... I don't want to go back to the routine tomorrow! Weekends need to be 3 days! One for fun, one for helping Mom, and one for doing our own stuff! I told That Man the same thing earlier and he laughed at me! Ha!
Anyways...
Here is the list!
1. Friday night frivolity with That Man! We talked, I wrote, we chilled... It was good.
2. Saturday's Bridal Shower for my niece. It was a fun time that included Grandma being chosen for the toilet paper bridal gown, hanging with K2, K4 deciding to go to the shower, bottomless mimosa's, and general silliness!
3. Today, despite a miscommunication between That Man and I, we worked at Mom's. Her car is now snuggly in the garage. Her tables, chairs, couches have been rearranged. We made significant progress. She now has attic stairs (I had nothing to do with that, except for transporting said stairs). We're getting there.
4. K3 doing some of the grocery shopping. He does very well. He's a smart shopper! And I love that I don't have to go to the store!
5. Our beach trip soon! Kitty Hawk! And days off work with just the four of us in this house! AND! Yay for house sitters, too! No dogs allowed, so having someone who can stay at our house is priceless!
6. Stuff getting done around here. It's a slow process, but we are making progress! We spend a lot of time at Mom's helping her get stuff done, too, which is good and no one is complaining about it at all. My truck is being worked on. K4's truck is being worked on. The bathroom is being worked on. The roof... soon. The tree still needs to be taken down... OY!!!
7. My bed. It's wonderful and I love it!
8. Working OT. Because how can you not like that? (I will admit, I am a little braindead, though)
9. October!!
10. Writing! I am almost there!!! I have brainspins of what I am going to work on next! It's time to finish and move on!
That is all!!
Behave!!

Bad Movies....?

My Top Bad, but oh so good Movies...
10. Forest Gump - as K4 said tonight, it's not about Forest. It's about Jenny and her story, told through Forest's eyes. Hmm...
9. Twister - classic story of a relationship that went off the tracks.
8. Pretty Woman - Classic Cinderella story...but a hooker? (but I love it)
7. Ghost
6. Dirty Dancing
5. Roadhouse
(Do you sense a Patrick Swayze theme?)
4. Footloose (the old one, NOT the new one)
3. The Stand - because it's awesome and amazing!
2. Frozen - I love it. K4 hates it and trashes it every time we watch it. She has her issues with it. Though so do I. The grandkids absolutely love it though...
1. .... My favorite bad movie of all time....
Robin Hood Prince of Thieves with Kevin Costner... Don't hate and don't judge.... There is a lot to love about this movie and I guess I watched it at a time in my life that it totally impacted me! I love this movie... and will watch it every single time it's on. I own it on VHS, but need it on DVD....
That is all...
Behave!

It Can't Be Tuesday....

But it is...
It's been a long week already. OT, the cold from hell circling its wagon and kicking my ass all over again... My God! Really? I feel like a bug squashed on a shoe and then scraped on the sidewalk... Seriously...
But... I have a list... (not all things are good...)
1. Dad's birthday celebration going well. The spaghetti sauce was awesome - like awesomely amazing. We found pictures, letters, and made progress cleaning out the garage so Mom can get her car back inside before the snow comes. We had a lot of fun hanging out "just us". We needed it. Being together is the only way we're surviving...
2. Baby B on Sunday. He's hysterical!
3. Writing. I'm on the last pass now. Yay progress!
4. K3 cooking his own vegan food after he shopped for it.
5. So stinking tired.... too tired.. .and I've been in bed early. Apparently not early enough, though I don't know how much earlier I can go to sleep...
I don't think I have more list now... Like I said, I'm tired. And I'm brain dead.
My night - arrived home (remember I don't get home until late), helped finish dinner, helped with trash and recycling, laundry, cleaned kitchen, including dishes - washing, drying, and putting away, sweeping floor and scrubbing down cupboards, wrote, watched a movie with the family (kind of), listened to barbershop music with K3 after he did his own vegan grocery shopping, surfed the 'net for a few... now bedtime... That is all...
Behave!

Feel Good Friday!

Oh Wait! A real Feel Good Friday? Seriously?
Okay... Well... Here we are and here is the list...
1.Living through the week with the plague... Yeah. I ended up with the crud. I made it through every work day (and even worked OT), but man.... I so wanted to call off... (Oh wait.. .but I have to work tomorrow too... UGH)
2. Being able to come home and sleep... (yes, I felt that sucky for all evenings (and mornings) this week. I didn't write, do laundry, check email, Facebook, or anything...) (I tried in the mornings... I sent birthday greetings...but that was all...)
3. Trying to catch up...I am so far behind. Facebook is so messed up... I don't know that I have any idea what I'm doing or that my settings are right... I don't see anything but stuff that apparently posted 3 days ago... wtf??
4. Whatever Facebook. I hate you and am ready to quit you anyway.
5. Having lunch with the big boss today. We had fun! It was a good lunch where we got to talk about work stuff and plans and ideas. And we got to bond - which is awesome! I love working with these people! We all have the same ideas!
6. Talking to K2 about the baby! I am so excited!
7. Some writing time this week! I am so far behind though (and considering the crud... I have no idea if any of my time writing was good... lol) ! I do feel good about my progress though... but I wish the crud hadn't stopped it from being more or made me feel more confident in what I have done....
8. That Man taking care of the cooking and grocery shopping this week. I never had to think about what to make for dinner... It was done when I walked in the door. Nice.
9. Being able to be with my family tomorrow. Tomorrow would have been Dad's 75th birthday. We were going to plan a fantastic celebration for him... Now it will be us siblings and mom... the way we want it... just us, celebrating and probably crying a lot... But we'll be together and that's all that matters. And we will be okay...
.... There is nothing more...
Behave....

The Week Goes By So Fast...

Sorry. Again.
I seem to have a real issue with getting on here any day but Monday! I'm not sure why. Except, things have been a little crazy around here. Let's do the Feel Good Friday on Monday list, shall we?
1. K2 and J making their official announcement. My new grandbaby will be here in March! We're so very excited. We've known for a little while, but they wanted to wait before posting on social media.
2. Having Baby B overnight on Saturday. Forget the fact he didn't sleep. He was adorable and we had a blast, despite him ending up with a fever before his mommy and daddy got here. He's fine now, but he was pretty miserable for a little while.
3. The cooler weather and my "Tree of Gondor" sweatshirt.
4. Writing time. Still making progress. I'm so close to the end, but am filled with uncertainty...
5. Last weekend going well, even though Mom and I stayed up way too late Friday night going through stuff and cleaning out her pantry.
6. Weekend plans coming up. It's going to be a rough one. Saturday would have been Dad's 75th birthday. We're all getting together to be together and at least we have that.
7. My bed. I am so very tired.
8. Fall arriving soon. I know that's similar to #3, but it's different. We have lots of stuff coming up, too.
9. Our bathroom almost being fixed.
Okay. That's enough. I'll try to come back before Monday.
Behave!

Tuesday? Wait!

I don't know how it happened! I'm sorry I missed the weekend postings!
Let's see...
The weekend was insane! Writing meeting on Saturday, which was awesome! Then, staying with my Mom on Saturday and getting to park my truck in an actual garage for the first time ever. That was super cool!!! (I don't know why, it just was) We had a really good time hanging out. Sunday was laundry, grocery shopping, treating the animals for potential fleas after That Man found one! Yuck! (We haven't seen a flea since)
We also paid for our mini-vacation and locked it in with days off work and school schedules, which is super cool! A few days at the beach is just what our family needs! It's just those in this house that are going, which feels weird, but our deal was only for a max of four. I am excited though. Things are coming together for animal care and house setting. These kids that live here have not had much of a summer, so I'm excited for the relaxation days. We're only a few minutes from the beach in our "resort" and only an hour or so from our "real" beach.
Oh and guess what? Only 15 Friday's until Christmas! That was rude. Sorry.
Okay... anyways... our new roof will go up soon. Our porch will be done soon. Front and back. That Man's car will get picked up from the shop soon, even though it's not fixed and is frustrating the heck out of all who try to work on it. Argh.
Also, I am writing. I am 2/3 done with the book I am submitting to my awesome publisher. I worked a whole bunch tonight. It's obviously I have to re-train these people that live here with me... lol. But I am excited to be back in the groove.
Okay. That's all for now.
Behave!

It's Thursday...

Thank goodness.
One more day of the work week.
It's been an insane week. In so many ways. In more ways than I can even describe.
I might be back tomorrow with a Feel Good Friday post. It will depend. I'm on deadline and I'm sucking big time!!
That's all for right now.... Deadline... Remember?
Behave!

Feel Good Friday - The Tuesday Edition

...yeah, I know... It's Tuesday...
It's been BUSY! I can't even tell you how much! Well... I guess I'll try...
1. I now have my truck back! I can't tell you how much I've missed it! Yay! Of course, the first day I drove it, the power steering fluid leaked out. Or maybe it already had after sitting for so long... either way, it was rude. What is also rude is how That Man's car is not fixed yet. He is so disgusted...
2. Camping! We had a blast in The Wilds! I had to work the day job Saturday, but I picked up K5 and we headed to camp. She had so much fun! She said everything was her favorite part! And we got to keep her an extra night! So much fun! She's such a great kid! I'm so glad she got to spend time with her aunts, uncles, cousins, and her Gigi. Gigi slept in our camper and K5 tucked her in Saturday night, then woke her for a potty trip Sunday am. It was cute, and K5 is awesome!
3. Fall is coming!!
4. Elsa being so good over the weekend!
5. Some writing time, though definitely not enough.
6. Writing meeting coming up! Yay!
7. Hanging out with people we haven't seen in way too long.
8. Hot tub time!
9. Hopeful vacation plans...
10. Sleeping in my own bed with the a/c on. Man... it was hot today. It was way too humid over the weekend. It's nice to sleep in comfort. LOL
That is all... Except... I'm really missing my dad...
Behave!

Blog Visiting...

I'm over at Julie Doherty's blog!
She put together some questions for Ben, the hero in Cursed Fate.
I had a lot of fun with the questions, though things were so crazy when I was answering them...
Stop by and learn a little bit about Ben!
Behave!

Monday Random...

1. Today is the first day of school. Which means earlier mornings for all of us, more planning and organizing, less sleep, and a schedule. I'm looking forward to the structure, but almost shed a tear at the fact that my babies are a senior and a freshman.
2. We had an absolute blast at the Renaissance Faire this weekend! We stayed all day, then stopped for dinner on our way home. It was an exhausting, but amazing day!
3. Sunday dinner at Mom's was good. Not all of us could make it and we didn't get to stay long due to getting ready for today, doing a ton of laundry, grocery shopping, and the work waiting in the bathroom (painting, mirror hanging). But I got to be with all four of my K's, which was very good.
4. Baby B is a riot.
5. The dog is weirded out by the new schedule. She's been walking around here crying for the last several minutes. Funny, because the kids were usually never up at this time.
6. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to Fall.
7. Writing. I had enough time this morning to get a few words done. Awesome.
That's enough random. I'll be back later to let you know where to go and check out my guest blog spot.
Behave!

Feel Good Friday - The Last Friday Before School Starts Edition

Hey! Look at that! It's actually a Feel Good Friday!
Here's the list:
1. Living through the busy work week! Crazy! But I do still love my day job!
2. Shopping with K4. We had fun even though we were both exhausted and it cost a small fortune, and I didn't get the right notebooks for K3.
3. That Man getting his car back, even though it's still not quite right.
4. My truck coming home next week! I have missed it so very much!
5. Weekend plans!
6. Weekend plans, that include having to do the Ice Bucket Challenge. I've been nominated twice, so has That Man, my sister, and my brother-in-law, K3, and K4. We will do it, but also donate, because that's how we roll...
7. A new grandbaby on the horizon!
8. Kitty Boys and Baby Puppy! The boys are getting big and they are very bad. And the baby puppy isn't so much a baby anymore at close to 90 lbs, regardless of being in her second or third puppy stage... Oy! She's so adorable and she really is a good dog, even though she has to go outside on a leash right now!
9. Writing. I miss it so very much. I so very much want to be able to stay home and write!
10. The New Normal. Routine will be good. Routine is what we need. And looking forward to Christmas at Mom's... Yeah, it's August, but we're already making plans...
That's all for now...
Behave!

Winding Down...

Summer, that is...
We have precious days left... Tomorrow. Saturday. Sunday. That's all.
Tonight we went to Back to School Open House. Dealt with some frustrating information relating to K3's summer school - none of it makes sense, but they're investigating everything and have promised us they'll make things right. K4 got to meet a few of her teachers and some other students, she finally chose her electives and despite the classroom structure being different from what she expected, she's willing to give it a shot and see how it goes. K3 is happy to get back to his friends and his senior year!
Tomorrow night is school shopping. We haven't had time to do it yet. K3 doesn't need much. K4 needs pretty much everything. It's going to be a long night.
Saturday is a trip to the Renaissance Faire. We are so excited! We haven't been yet this year. This won't be our last trip. I got our tickets today!! I'm very grateful we have someone to stay with the pooch all day. Otherwise...
Sunday... well... That's kind of up in the air at this point. We're supposed to do Family Dinner at Mom's, but with everyone going back to school and a lot of us having to complete The Ice Bucket Challenge -- I don't know what we'll end up doing...
Writing... Yes, I am writing. It's slow, but I am.
The new routine will be welcome, I think. I hope. I think it's time for the new normal...
Behave!

An Award...

Okay, so I was actually nominated for this ages ago. It all came down while Dad was sick and then I lost the link and then ignored the repeat email for far too long, but here it is now...

SO HERE ARE THE RULES (CUE ECHOING EFFECT)

1. Link back and thank the blogger who nominated you in your post. Thank you, AVA! (Ava has apparently been kidnapped by Carnies, again. It's a trend. You learn to live with it! lol) 
2. List 11 random facts about yourself.  (I'll do the best I can...)
3. Answer the 11 questions asked by the blogger who nominated you. (Okay, then...) 
4. Pick 5 – 10 new bloggers to nominate. (Everyone I know has already done this... especially since I'm so late with this...)
5. Ask them 11 new questions. Do not re-nominate the blogger who nominated you. (not going to happen....)
6. Go to each blogger’s site and inform them of their nomination. (Also... not going to happen...)

Eleven Random Facts About Me:

1. I am the middle of five children - two older brothers, two younger sisters. I like to think that I'm the boss of them - always have - but that's not true.

2. I married my high school sweetheart. I didn't like him when I first met him. I like him a whole heck of a lot now... :)

3. We have four children, and a son and daughter-in-law who our like are own. 

4. I miss my truck! It's been in the shop since May. Anyone have any tires for cheap?

5. I have a secret that I can't tell you yet...

6. I can't sing. Luckily, my kids can and they're good!

7. I hate crowds and tight spaces.

8. I love camping. 

9. We have three cats (2 kittens and an antisocial grown cat), and a puppy (10 month old Elsa - who is in her second puppy stage at the moment...OY!) I don't know what we were thinking...

10. Oh, Really? Only at 10? Ugh... I was once bitten by a shark on the North Carolina coast...

11. Ten is a lie... No really...

So onto the next part...

11 QUESTIONS From ava: 

1. What is the most unusual thing you've had a character in your stories do? Step on a skull. (That one is still a work in progress...)
2. What is the craziest thing you've ever done in your life? I really don't think you want me to answer that... 
3. Using the ancient form of Haiku (17 syllables) describe your blog. Suck, suck, suck, I try, But mostly suck. Want not to suck. But I still do...
4. What type of a vacation would be absolute torture for you? A stuffed-full amusement park with two hour long wait times.
5. Why did you start to write? Because I couldn't not. 
6. What is one thing on your bucket list that you haven't crossed off yet? Too many... Biggest one could be Venice. 
7. What is your favorite comfort food? Captain Morgan. (not food, but should still count.)
8. What charity or non profit is closest to your heart? Cancer Research. 
9. What movie had the best movie kiss ever? That's a complete toss up. There are so many... Most favorite though... Aragorn and Arwen in Return of the King. 
10. Star Wars or Star Trek? Old or new? Old Star Wars and New Star Trek, but I do love the old Star Trek, too. There are good things about all... Don't get me started...
11. Make up any question you want and answer it here. Why am I doing this? I don't know... LOL  

Okay, so that's it.

Behave!

Wow... I Suck... Feel Good Friday... The I'm Trying Not to Suck Edition...

I thought I posted at least once this week, but as I think about it... I didn't. This week was crazy! But... let's focus on the Feel Good part of the week...
1. Hanging with Mom tonight. It's been nice. Pizza for dinner. A little Captain. Teaching her how to use her new smart phone (K4 is mostly in charge of that.) The boys are at home - working on stuff and dealing with the pets, and us girls are hanging. Nice.
2. K3 finishing summer school! Yay! The deadline is today and he finished at almost 9pm! I am so glad he's done. The poor kid has had no summer whatsoever. He's spent 97% of his time (when he wasn't sleeping) working on school. UGH! (and there are only two weeks until school starts again! How unfair is that?)
3. It's Friday. This was a very, very long work week. OT and insanity. I still love my day job though. I'm just glad for the weekend rest.
4. Writing time this week. Not much, but it's a start. My hope is that once school starts, I'll be able to get into a real schedule. I'll probably write in the morning once the kids leave for school since I'll have about an hour and a half until I have to leave for work... We'll see how that goes... I'm not setting anything in stone at this point...And I'm not stressing out about it yet.
5. Renn Faire in our future. Don't know when yet, but I can't wait! It must happen for all of our sakes!
6. Our chimney being repaired after the tree damage. Next is the roof... But, we're ready for that. We need it to happen soon.
7. Hearing awesome news from an awesome friend!
8. Granddaughter time coming this weekend! I miss my girl!
9. Grandson time this week. He is so adorable and has started to say NaNa! Aw!
10. And... ummm. Shawshank... Love this movie!!
That's all for now... I do have a blogging award to do. Hopefully I'll get to that tomorrow...
Behave!

It's Been Almost 3 Weeks...

Since Dad's funeral. Tomorrow is three weeks... I think I'm finally ready to share what we wrote for the funeral - what my siblings and I wrote and couldn't get up to actually say... The closing of the casket was way, way rough. For all of us. It is something I never want to do again, and something I am so glad I did.
So here it is...

Thank you for coming out to show your support to our family as we struggle with this difficult time.

We wanted to tell you a little about our dad.

Dad didn’t always have much to say. Sometimes – most of the time -  you knew what he was thinking just by looking at him, especially when he was amused, disappointed, or mad. Or teasing... You just had to look for the twinkle in his eyes - it was there most of the time. In some of the pictures out there (on the picture boards we made for the funeral), you can see random shots of him being not sure of what us kids are up to. We never liked to see the disappointed or mad face, but because we were such “angelic” children all too often we did see that face. Often all he had to do was give us “that” look and we were silent and doing our best to behave. Or, he’d reach for his belt – which instantly brought five quiet, completely behaved children. The funny thing about that is – he rarely, if ever, had to use the belt. And when he did, you can bet your butt we deserved it. (side note - not me, because I was a true angel child. LOL)

For the most part, though, he simply rolled his eyes and shook his head. And… he did that a lot.

One of the things we learned from our dad is that there is humor in every situation. He hated funerals – hated wearing black, hated having to be so somber and stoic. He didn’t like to see people so sad. We don't think he wants us to be so sad now... We're not saying he wants us to be happy, but we think he definitely wants us to remember with a smile and be glad that he's not suffering his pain anymore and be celebrating his awesome life. That's easier said than done. Right now and probably for a long time. 

The month and a half leading up to Dad’s death were rough. We watched him go from walking with a limp, then to a cane, then with a walker. He suffered through urinary tract infections, having to have a catheter, falling, and having to drive with mom. J (just kidding, mom. We know it was harder on you than it was him.) When he went to the procedure that was supposed to make him feel better, the doctor refused to do it because his pain was so great. Things went from bad to worse in the following weeks, resulting in a nineteen day hospital stay before finally coming home with Hospice care. Hospice was awesome and took wonderful care of him and taught us so much. He was home with all of us caring for him - taking turns being there and doing meds and cleaning up - for his last ten days.

We tell you his journey so we can also tell you how he still had his sense of humor. He teased the nurses, teased mom, and us, and ended up with a toy his great-grandson left behind – this talking cookie monster (that is now beside Dads ashes at Moms). It amused him and one night in the hospital he put in under his sheet to scare the nurses. Even though we were all worried and distressed by the constant flow of bad news, we had a lot of laughs. He laughed so much the weekend before he passed. We all did. 

And we had a lot of hugs and love.

The past few days we’ve been looking through pictures of the past – camping trips, birthday parties, holidays, random gatherings, vacations. Pictures of Dad playing with the grandchildren, holding newborn grandchildren, playing games, random football games, baseball games, horseshoes, and badminton, or quietly sitting in the back ground and taking it all in, laughing. Always laughing. They were some of the best times we’ve had through the years – you’ve seen some of them in the picture boards sitting around, but there are so many more great memories in our hearts. Things we couldn’t even begin to explain or describe. Times where Dad would just sit with us in silence, offering his quiet support and gentle guidance. The times where if one of our families had a crisis – our parents would be the first ones there. Whether it be Dad watching grandkids on Christmas morning so his new granddaughter could be born and Gram could be there for her birth, to rescuing us when we were stranded motorists, driving for miles to help fix a broken down truck in a deserted boy scout camp, not freaking out “too much” when we wrecked or dinged the family car, handing out cash, picking us up and taking us to the doctor when we were sick and our spouses couldn’t be there, helping in our yards and homes – with tree removal, painting, renovations, or taking time from work to come to school when one of us got into trouble for doing something stupid. (There might have been more of those times than any of us care to remember, especially with the older two.)

And we did the same for him – driving him to work when he had a broken foot, picking him up when he got sick after eating something bad, not wrecking his tractor when we helped clean up their yard after a particularly bad storm, but that’s what you do as a family. You work as a team.

We’re going to miss him more than we can ever say, but thanks to him, we have a strong family and a lot of wonderful memories to hold in our hearts and share.

 *That's what we meant to say, but couldn't. It's still hard for me to read. I still want to edit it a bunch of times and add so much more, but what's there is raw and from the heart. It's a mix of my siblings and I. We talked about it, edited it in our emotional state... 

Speaking for myself alone, I had a really good childhood. I have a lot of awesome memories, some of them weird because I remember weird stuff, but Dad was always the one thing that never changed. Whether he was laughing hysterically because I picked up a garden snake with the hose, or him laughing at me making gigantic chicken feet prints in the dirt when we camped, or when he told me what I deserved in a relationship and helped me be strong enough to demand it. I could go on... 

But I can't. 

I miss you, Dad. 

Behave! 

Summer Survival: Year Six: Entry Two

The natives are restless...
It has been a weird season at our camp. We have yet to break off and do many fun things just us beyond hanging with the family, relax just us, or be spontaneous. We do have plans, but nothing concrete yet...
The natives know we are in transition, but the stress in our camp is outrageous. The natives are at each other like crazy! Neither can say anything without the other taking offense. Both complain endlessly. I am confused and weary of all of the complaining and whining. Earlier this evening, I said our camp felt like it was full of dynamite and would explode at any time. That Man agreed, but the natives just offered to light the fuse. 
One native is still working on summer school and is stressed beyond reason. The other native is bored out of her head. The clock is ticking for school to start and while one native is excited and ready to do school shopping, the other has yet to have a break and does not even want to discuss...
We are a quandary camp.... 
We have ten days of the summer school camp to get through. I hope we will live. And that my house doesn't get blown up. Oy! 
Tonight was insane. We had the grand-native and he was so cute and funny, but crazy wound up. The natives here were like bee stings to each other and us - complaining, judging, making remarks and complaining about things we have already discussed and decided on. I am weary. So very weary. 
I am hopeful the next few weeks ease up and we get some stress removal here before the educational camp begins...The bottom line is that all natives, including the senior ones, need the beach! 
Behave!

Feel Good Friday (Shh... I know it's Saturday)... The Date Night Edition

So That Man and I went on a date last night...
It was funny how it happened. On my way to the day job on Wednesday, I was thinking about how much I missed him and how little time we'd been able to spend together lately... wondering when the last time we did anything "just us". I was going to call him when I parked at work to ask him if he wanted to go out just the two of us Friday night, but ran out of time. He texted me an hour later to say the same thing I'd been thinking and ask if I wanted to go out with him Friday night. (of course, I said yes...)
We talked while I was on lunch, trying to decide what to do... where to go. By Thursday, he had a plan and he wasn't telling me... Just that I needed to come straight home and be ready to go the second I pulled in. He said he had everything covered.
I, of course, had to work a little later than normal. I rushed out and ended up behind him after he made an emergency grocery store run. Apparently, the K's went through all of the food we'd just bought. They were *ahem* starving. I pulled in. We unloaded the groceries and uploaded the things That Man purchased for our evening into my car. After making sure the kids were good, we left and hot-footed it to our destination. I had no idea where we were going. That Man said I would figure it out, but I never did. I knew we were going to a winery, but had no idea where.
I was pleasantly surprised. We went to a small, but awesome, local winery - voted 6th in our state, though they haven't been open very long. He had to call on our way because they were ready to close, but he'd talked to the owner and he told him to just come on over.
By all means, they were closed when we got there, though the "open" sign was still lit. We were welcomed with open arms, tasted wine, talked to the owners wife for a long time, bought wine and cool glasses, then went on their deck to drink some wine. We felt a little awkward because they were closed and it was late, but that didn't last long. We were joined on the deck by one of the owners and we laughed and talked and I drank the rest of the wine in our bottle. (No worries, we bought two more! Ha!)
On our way home, we ate the dinner That Man had gotten us (we felt weird eating there because the one owner told us she hadn't eaten yet...). So good. Stopped for gas, ate some chocolate, then went home.
It was a really good night. That Man is awesome.
When we got home we hung with the K's, did some laundry... I drank more wine. Though I will say, I was completely fine. I drank slow, with plenty of water, and I don't think the wine had a high alcohol content, because otherwise I would be on the floor. And I wasn't at all... Even a little.
I slept in a whole lot this morning, which was awesome. We cleaned the house, did laundry (all caught up), cut grass, and waited for the insurance adjuster. (Did I tell you that the day of Dad's funeral a big hunk of our tree broke off and landed on our house and did a crap-ton of damage? Oy!! (more on that later). By the time we left the house to come to Mom's for dinner, the house was awesomely clean - still is and it smells good in here.
We had lasagna thanks to our awesome friends. That Man's mom came over to hang with us. K4 stayed home for dinner because she wasn't feeling well. K3 drove his g'ma over and then home.
It's been a good few days.
Tomorrow I write again. I've been working up to it all week. I want to. I need to. It's just still been chaos...
I'm coming back. I swear.
Behave!

Summer Survival: Year Six, Entry One

Summer is now half over...
The day the natives return to the educational camp is marked on the board in red. And it's not that far away. One of the natives has yet to have any enjoyment of his vacation due to finishing his work from the previous camp, and heading straight into summer school camp. He is working hard and hopefully will get a little bit of time away from school before he must go back. The other native is excited to start her new adventure at her new school. She'll be a theater major and can't decide which electives interest her yet. 
The major outlay of shells and beads for proper attire needs to happen, but not before we have some fun... Whatever we decide to do... 
Camp is so different this season. Obviously. The loss of the family patriarch has been rough and hard and we're still dealing. We've come together as a family unit though, and the result, while tough, has been good. We all enjoy spending time with each other and we actually enjoy staying with Mom and making sure she's okay. 
The youngest native and I are here with Mom tonight. We're all on our electronic devices - catching up, playing games, checking stuff, but we're together. Watching old television shows and laughing at them. It's late and I have to go to the day camp tomorrow, but I'm so far behind on everything...
The baby native was here with us earlier. We watched him while his momma went to another camp to do some stuff. He's so busy. I'm so so tired. 
There are natives in another country at the moment. K2 and J are on a mission trip to Guatemala. We miss them. We worry for them. They'll be back next week and I cannot wait. 
This journal used to be a lot more amusing...
Sorry about that...
Behave!

I'm Coming Back...

My Dad passed away last Monday.
I'm still trying to adjust.
We had a very awesome weekend with my siblings and being home at the 'rents house. We had a lot of very good times, a lot of tears, a lot of food and beer, and a lot of making Dad laugh.
I will always remember that weekend as one of the best. I would never change it for any other weekend or memory. Even though we all knew Dad was dying, we were all there together - talking, laughing, playing music, telling stories, supporting Mom and each other. It really was an epic weekend.
I miss my dad. I always will. But I am so very grateful for the time we had together. I'm so glad I got to tell him how much I love him and that I could be with him every second in his final days.
Missing my dad sucks! I want him here. I miss him so much.
I will be back... I'm still trying to process and get my crap together... I appreciate your understanding through this horribly tough time...
Behave!

The Way It Is...

The siblings who can take shifts staying overnight at the 'rents. The spouses stay when they can. It's not ideal, but it's working for now. We can't leave Mom alone. We can't leave Dad.
He's restless and on heavy pain meds. Every day it's something different with the meds. And the pain.
I'm here tonight. That Man is here too, but has gone to bed because he works much earlier than I do and I had to give the pain med dose at almost 11. He will be up and checking things before he heads to work. My sister will be here before I leave for work. I can't remember who is on shift tomorrow night. Frankly, every day is running together right now. Wait. I think it's my brother since Friday is the 4th. We're having a cookout here and when I told Dad what we were doing he was happy and looking forward to it.
Tonight we rearranged the living room where Dad is so Mom's chair is right beside him. I also did some work in her kitchen to make it easier for all of us to cook and clean up while here. All of us kids (and our spouses) are very cooking oriented and the kitchen is kind of small. Space was needed. She was scared of my plan and told That Man and K2 that I was hiding all of her stuff. (ha! She cracks me up!) It looks good though! She helped and we talked and it was good.
Dad had a hair cut tonight. One of That Man's good friends is a barber and he came after hours to cut Dad's hair. It went well, though it took a while because he was "this" side of being a wholly mammoth. (ha!) He was sore afterwards, but pleased with the results. K2 and J stopped by. That was good. K2 was silly and made Dad laugh a lot.
We finally (I think) made him comfortable, but I'm waiting a few minutes before I try to go to sleep. I'll be sleeping in the living room with him, just in case. There is so much noise in this house I would never hear him call me. There are air conditioners, fans, fans, fans.... And it's freaking hot outside... Geeze!!
Tomorrow is everyone's Friday though. That's a good thing. A very good thing.
One day at a time...
Behave!

So... Again... In Case You Didn't Know..

Cancer SUCKS!!!
My dad is dying from it!
This has all happened so fast! Dad is home with Hospice care now. It's in his brain, bones, liver... The doctors haven't given him a lot of time.
It SUCKS!!

Still Processing....

Every day it's something different....
Dad has had some stomach issues - not sure if it's the same bug that has seem to hit most of the family, or something else, but he's feeling better now.
There's been a few episodes of AFib - where his heart stops for a few seconds and then starts again. We think that's been going on for a little while and is only noticed now because his heart is being monitored. New meds have been ordered. He may have a pacemaker in his future.
He had a bone scan today. The results were that he has some lesions in a few spots. I did some research and while it could be related to his spinal stenosis that he's had, it could be other things too. We were told that they just don't know for sure, but our follow up is with the oncologist. He has blood work in the morning. Then he moves to a rehab facility for strengthening.
All I know is that my siblings and I are pissed. We want answers. We don't want to have to wait another two weeks for them. It's ridiculous that we're on this information finding quest when it's quite clear that the doctor's already know. Just freaking tell us already! And way to make the consult appointment on the most inconvenient day. No one can take off on July 3rd at this point unless they have seniority! Way to screw 90% of the family!! (yes, I'm angry... for many reasons!)
It's been another long week. And it's only Wednesday.
And I still have to do what I have to do...
Yesterday K4 had an orthodontist consult. She needs braces and oral surgery. We have another appointment in a month to do xrays, scans, and write another huge check...blah blah blah. And then the next month we hear the treatment plan and how much it will cost. Whatever. We'll do whatever we have to do for her. But oy!
I'm trying really hard to write. I have less than two weeks to turn this book in and I'm close, but not close enough. I have been working as much as I can, but my "as much as I can" is not good enough in my mind. I will be putting the hammer down over the next few days, because I will meet this deadline!
Our kitty boys are getting big! Not too much bigger, but they're putting on weight, which is good. And they now have free reign over the downstairs while we're in bed now. Noisy! They love the stairs! Elsa is so good with them. She loves them and they don't want to play with her yet.
Elsa got herself in trouble by leaving the yard today. Note - the reason she left the yard is because no one was watching her! Some people forget she is still a puppy and not Abbie. We've taken care of that knowledge, but Elsa is walking around here full of guilt. How weird is that? I wasn't even home when it happened and she's still sucking up to me...
And tomorrow is our town's huge street fair. I have to leave when it's just getting started and will be home during the thick of traffic... OY! I hate it! Next year I will take off to be here just so I don't have to leave! But suck! What a pain!
At this time last year, we were saying goodbye to That Man's brother and family. We'd had a successful and awesome bridal shower for K2 and were gearing up for the wedding.
This year sucks so far. Though we are looking forward to some things...
Everything is just up in the air...
Behave!

I'm Doing All I Can...

There won't be a Feel Good Friday this week, because there's nothing to feel good about. (which is really not true because there are a few things, but...)
Right now, though, there is just suck.
My dad has cancer.
In his bladder and it's inoperable.
We have no prognosis or anything. It's a wait and see thing at the moment. We have to get him stronger so he can manage chemo. He may go to rehab this week, but we don't know when. The only thing I know with absolute certainty is that we will fight this SOB Cancer with everything we have and we will kick its butt. Because, guess what, Cancer, you don't own us and we're bigger, stronger, and meaner than you will ever be! And there's more of us, no matter what you think! Stupid Cancer! You Suck!!
I am not processing well though, despite being determined. I don't know what to think, what to do, where to be...
My kids are not processing well either. They are each very interesting in how they attempt to take the information in. I see myself or their father and our coping mechanisms in each of them. They are all very freaked out. Pop Pop has always been a huge part of all of their lives. He was there for them when we lost That Man's dad. He's always, always, been there for them - to help them, teach them things, and hang out with them and make them laugh for their whole lives - just like he's been with me. They don't like this. I don't either.
Where am I supposed to be? I haven't arrived home until late all week because I've been at the hospital every night. I missed the last day of school joy. Twice. I've missed the kittens adjusting to their new home. I've missed my grandson. (though I did stay with him for a while last night. We jumped in puddles and did silly things. And I did get to talk to the younger K's for a few minutes, but not long enough and we didn't know anything last night.) I've spoken to my granddaughter on the phone, she's hysterical and so adorable, but we didn't get to have the ice cream date we hoped for. I've missed talking to my kids - especially the ones at home. The kid who now has his first car and so wanted to show it to me - only I didn't get home until well after he went to bed. And the girl who brought her beater truck home to be worked on in the hopes that it will be ready for when she gets her permit, but I was barely able to fully check the truck out so far. It's not fair to them, but how can I be in two places at once? I can't keep up with everything. I barely know my name right now. Yes, I have guilt. I know everyone is okay and fine. I was home for a little while today. We had a family meeting and were totally available for questions and conversation, but...
I had a lengthy conversation with my mom about it tonight, but I still have a crap ton of guilt. I have to be at my day job because I'm new and have no paid time off and can't afford to lose hours. Besides, Dad would kick my butt if I took unpaid time off of work. (which is one of the only things keeping me going) And I work a later shift now. And it sucks.
I need to be there for my mom. I know my uncle is in right now, but she still needs me to be there. I spent the night with her last night. Which was good in a lot of ways. But I feel like I should be there tonight - especially. Mom is an amazing person. She is one of the strongest people I know. I am proud to be her child. I'm also proud to be a part of this amazing family who has always been there for each other, no matter what. Even if we're being stupid silly in the face of bad news, we're there for each other. There has been some previous drama with our oldest brother, but he's been there with the rest of us and it's amazing. I have missed him and I'm so glad it's the five of us again. There is nothing better than having a whole bunch of siblings to have your back. (and the truth is... we're awesome together, despite the issues and years)
I haven't been able to actually pick up the phone and talk to people yet. I just can't. I don't have it in me. So, if you're reading this and think I should have called you, please understand I'm doing the best I can. I can't talk yet. I don't want to talk. I can't hear myself say the words. (though apparently I can type some of them...) I don't want to have to actually say them. You're not the only one I haven't called, but hopefully you've heard from me in some form.
Me not calling you doesn't mean you're not important to me, or that I don't think you're a part of our family. I just need to figure things out first. It's my Daddy, and I just can't talk right now. If I contacted you on an alternate venue to let you know, don't take my lack of personal contact personal. I just can't do it right now. I can't talk to you. I don't want to talk yet. I don't want to talk to anyone right now. If I haven't contacted you yet, please don't take it personally. It in no way means you're less important to me. It only means I have nothing left at this point and will email, etc, as soon as I'm able. But I apologize in advance for not making you aware sooner.
We're all doing the best we can. I only ask for your understanding and good thoughts.
Behave!!

It's Tuesday Again...

All I can say is there's a lot going on around here...
I can't really tell you what's going on with my dad because we don't know for sure yet. He's currently in the hospital after a really rough weekend. (We'll talk about that another time) No diagnosis yet. Lots of speculation, but no definitive answer. My family is managing as best as we can - trying to get a handle on things, being there for each other, and dealing with this in our own unique ways. I know it's vague, but I just can't talk about it yet. I don't want to. I can't deal with the result of that because I'm still processing myself and there is no way I could reassure anyone else things are going to be okay or tell you if we need help or if there's anything anyone can do when I don't know myself and am dealing with my own emotions and trying to make sure all my family and siblings are okay.
We've been through this before with That Man's parents. People want to help, because that's their way of coping, too, but the biggest lesson I learned there was that the best help came from those who didn't ask. It came from the people who just did without expectation or recognition - the ones who just showed up and did what was needed, or just sat with us. That was the best thing, because we never had to ask or reassure or say the words when we couldn't. It's a skill I strive to have, but don't yet. Maybe I will after this.
Anyway.  
Part two of the chaos is that before all of this went down with Dad, we said we'd take a kitten from a lady I work with. I was surprised That Man agreed, because he frequently complains about the litter box and cat barf that happens on occasion. But he said yes and I was excited. We committed to a kitten, thinking we would get it that same weekend. Then we found out the kittens were three hours away. K3 knew, but K4 didn't. So, it was set up almost 2 weeks ago that tonight we would go visit the kittens and chose one (the woman who had the kittens brought them down so we could choose, but we couldn't go over until I left the hospital and my work friend got home from her thing). We'd said we thought we wanted the little tiger female, but there were two adorable gray and white males, too, so we figured we'd decide which one when we got there. (which wasn't until almost 10pm) (and the little tiger female had gotten in a scuffle with two dogs and wasn't feeling well, so was left to rest three hours away)
Long story short, we came home with the boys. Both of them. They are so very cute. One is named Charles. The other has no name yet. K4 squealed and almost cried when we brought them home. K3, even though he knew, was stunned by the cuteness.
So now we have two kittens, a puppy, (who has been very gentle so far) and an adult and very pissed off cat. (She hates the kittens. She hates the puppy) But we are even with males and female in this house again, which has to be good.
The other good thing is that at this moment, it looks like both K's have passed their grades. K3 has to do summer school to make up deficient credits, but as of right now K4 is good. What a school year! K3 is done. K4 has 1.5 days left.
I will try to update when I can. No promises. I apologize in advance for the silence.
Behave!

Okay... So Now It's Tuesday....

Sorry. Time is definitely passing too fast these days.
The weekend was good. Busy.Saturday was a bunch of errands and stuffs... Sunday we hosted a surprise 25th birthday party for K1. J took care of most of the details, but I did have to clean up the massive amount of dog hair in my house. It was good. K1 was surprised and we had a good time hanging out, even though the 'rents couldn't make it over. Towards the end of the evening, we got a call from my mom that my dad was on the floor. My brother, sister-in-law, and I went to help. (It's very good we live less than 5 miles from them.) We got him up and taken care of. Monday was to be his procedure, but the amount of pain he was in has set us on this journey of many tests and scans and such.
We're still waiting for answers. Doing the best we can to be there and help. Waiting for answers.
School is almost out. That's a good thing as long as things end up like they should. Summer school is a definite for K3 as he started his school credit deficient.
Getting used to my schedule has been hard. I'm exhausted and feel like I can't keep up. I am keeping up with my writing groups 50/50 challenge, but barely. I refuse to give in at this point. We have less than a week left. There is a lot going on around here, but I will prevail.
I think that's all I have...
Behave!

Feel Good Friday...

Oh geeze... What a week!
Monday was good. We slept in a little. That Man worked on cars, fences, and the yard. I slept longer than him and worked on sucking up the ridiculous amount of pet hair in my house, laundry, and writing stuff. K1 and J stopped by as a surprise. Baby B had been running a fever, but was normal, so they decided to come over and hang out. That was awesome and fun.
BUT!!!
Cursed Fate released on Monday!! I had a post! I posted a post!! It somehow went away!! This book is one of my favorites and it has a very awesome cover! I hope you check it out and I hope you love it! (See cover to the right!)
Tuesday was back to the grind. K3 had a dinner for the Thespian Society. It started before I got off work, so That Man and K3 went. It was good. I'm sad I missed it. K3 won Best Actor. So cool. When I finally got home, K4 and I ordered pizza. She did homework. I did my stuff. Then I had to go with That Man to pick up K1's car from the shop. (huh?) We didn't get home until late. That kind of sucked.
Wednesday was K4's concert at school. I received a frantic text after she got home. She could not find her violin. Crap. The last time I saw the violin was the day I left for retreat. Dammit! The house was searched. My stomach was turning considering the amount of money we have spent on this violin thing (She's been playing since 4th grade...that's four years). I arrived home, did the quick search for the missing instrument, (no dice) and we left for the concert. I went into the band hall with K4. She was mad. I didn't care. I needed to know and/or talk to her teacher if it wasn't found. It was found. Yay. That Man took me out for a quick dinner because I never had the chance to eat. K4 was amazing in chorus, special chorus, and orchestra. Love my kids.
Thursday was a scout meeting - a committee meeting. We have a limited time on the committee because K3 will age out soon and he is in no way shape or form in a position to try to get his Eagle. (3 years of summer camp with the same merit badges will do that... sad and weird... but...) The very sad thing is that we love these people. They are fun and our friends, but our time there is soon over. We'll hang around for a while, but we've already announced that we're done running committees and such.
And now it's Friday (shh.. don't look at the time this posted...) It was a long, but mostly good week!. Next week has some challenges. And maybe some surprises.. I will let you know...
That is all.
 Behave!

Stay Tuned...

Oy! This has been a super long week!
I will explain... but not now... It's very late and I need to sleep.
Just know... I am still here. Doing my thing. Trying to keep up....
Tomorrow I hope to have an informative Feel Good Friday, but... don't count on it...
I might be a little flaky after this week...
Oh... and get ready for Summer Survival Journals... We're at less than 9 days until the kids get out of school!
Behave!

The Saturday of No Sleeping In...

So... I was going to sleep in a lot longer... My phone rang at 7:48am. I heard it, but rolled over and ignored it. (sometimes That Man calls me to try to get me out of bed... and I had gone to bed late so...no...) Then, the notification that I had a voice mail sounded. I knew it couldn't be good. I listened, and as I listened, I got up and put clothes on. That Man flew into our room and said he had to go, because he got the same call. I was going with him, because my dad had fallen and Mom needed help getting him up. So... we went. And yes, I went in my Mickey Mouse jammie pants and an ugly sweatshirt. That Man got Dad up, he made him tea. We chatted for a few minutes and then That Man and I went about our business of setting up new bank accounts thanks to the breach at my payroll company. What a freaking pain. (Oh and I did go home to change out of my jammie pants and ugly sweatshirt first) I went back to the 'rents so my mom could go to the grocery store. I wrote many words. I started laundry for my mom. I looked for this freaking cool-as-hell bowl my sister needs, but sadly, didn't find it. My dad slept. I put on obnoxious television, but he didn't wake up. I tried, but he was tired and in pain.
Mom got home and I rushed to meet K4 at the haircut place. She was in the chair when I got there. Half of her head was shaved. Despite the shock value of her new haircut, it's super cool. She loves it. I do, too. It's so her. And, seriously... it's only hair.
The d-i-l had picked her up previously to take her to the mall, specifically to Victoria's Secret to be fitted for bras. Since they hadn't been able to get her a bday present, this was a big deal. VS was having an enormous sale and many bras (in the right size) were bought. Both of my girls were happy. Baby B was a huge flirt during this whole process. After the haircut, we had lunch, then found a 50% off bathing suit and cheap flipflops. Also super cool.
Then grocery shopping where I saved a significant amount in coupons. Then rushing to get K3 to his Improv show at the coolest venue! A bookstore! Cheap coffee. Cool building, except they don't do fiction. But still! When we got home, K3 left to do teenager things. That Man and I made our food for tomorrow's picnic. I talked to my parental unit and now... it's now...
And I'm super tired and must go to bed. The sleeping in thing? Yeah... Not going to happen tomorrow... We're going to hear K4 speak at her job. Then we're heading to The Wilds for the holiday picnic.
We're sad we couldn't camp this weekend... Very much so...But, we weren't ready and there is all of this stuff going on and needing to be done... So whatever...
Behave!

Feel Good Friday

Whew! I made it!
Here's the Feel Good Friday list:
1. Making it through the week. Kid stuff. Work stuff. Late nights. But tomorrow....I sleep in!
2. Three day weekend! Whoot!
3. Hanging with my grandson! He's so adorable and he's learning so much.
4. Writing time tomorrow for at least a little bit. I'm heading over to give my 'rents a break by staying with my dad while my mom goes shopping. My dad is okay despite dealing with some issues, but Mom doesn't want to leave him. We'll pop in a movie and chill and I will write while Mom does her thing.
5. Girl time tomorrow afternoon. K4 needs a haircut. Haircut days are always fun.
6. Picnic on Sunday. Small consolation for missing the camping weekend, but what are you going to do? Mother Nature always gets her way.
7. That Man taking care of things and stuff while this family adjusts to my new schedule.
8. Getting my embroidered work shirt today. Cool! And I got a pretty darned good review, too!
9. Catered work lunch. Good food and very nice of our vendor!
10. Cursed Fate releases on Monday!! Yay!!
11. And one more, because it's important.... Keeping up with my chapter's 50/50 challenge even though it's been a struggle this week!
That is all!
Enjoy your holiday weekend and make sure you remember what we're celebrating! Thanks to my dad and my brother(s) and all military folks for protecting our freedom!
Behave!

Routine Change

Is why I'm so tired.
The hours have changed at my day job and now I work later than I ever have. Which means I go in later than I ever have. It's not necessarily the ideal time to have to work, but it won't last forever and we'll make it work. It's just... you know... the change and the fact that despite having to clock in later, I'm still up at my regular time doing stuff. My days are long. And then I'll adjust again in a few weeks when school gets out and I don't have to make sure kids get out the door and get kids to school on time. (and wait for the traditional whining wish of being home again full time when the kids do get out of school. It happens every year.)
But...
My plan is to do most of my writing in the morning before I head in. That worked Monday, but not Tuesday since I had some other stuff to take care of. (we'll just scratch Tuesday out of this week for now - it was long and exhausting.)
Good stuff:
Tomorrow I'll be on Ava Quinn's blog!
And... Monday, May 26th, Cursed Fate comes out! I'm so excited!
That is all for now...
Behave!

Home Again...

It happens every year... I'm happy to be home with my family and back to my routine, but I'm exhausted - physically and mentally. I also always entertain ideas of being able to stay home to write full time again when I return. I know that dream is a very far off one and I know I'll readjust to life pretty quickly. I do like my day job a whole lot, so at least I'm doing something I like with cool people. And regardless of the slight emotional upheaval, retreat was exactly what I needed. I started a new book I am very excited about, reconnected with myself as an author, and hung out with my awesome writing people.
Plus, today was my first day on my new shift - it starts later and ends later and there will be an adjustment phase for a little while.

Anyway... One last retreat picture:

It hailed twice on Saturday. We found this pile of ice in the middle of the grass. No rhyme or reason to it. But weird. The weather there is definitely psychotic. It went from warm to cold, sunny to cloudy, rain to hail, and then back again. The sky was either filled with big puffy clouds or heavy grey ones.

I need to go to sleep now... We watched Baby B for a little while tonight and his wore me out. (also see later shift above) His new thing is "Go outside" where he wants to chase the dog, beat on trashcans with sticks, and go down the slide. He did get to play with the neighbor kids tonight, which he loved. And chase the neighbors ducks around.
That is all...
Behave!

Retreat - Day Three

Yeah, I know I set myself up yesterday to do a pm post... And I meant to, but didn't get back to my room until late.
I ended up with over 4k words yesterday, which is awesome. We had our annual cocktail party last night and our first annual signature drink. We had a blast and stayed up talking, laughing, and being silly until way late. It was a lot of fun.
Today is our last full day here and it's bumming me out a little. I'm trying hard not to think about it! After lunch we will take our annual group photo and tonight is our game and the prize drawing.
So, these geese live around the pond. One of my associates does not like them at all. I was on the phone with That Man and walked down to check them out. The male is not a pleasant soul. He hissed at me and made noises that were most definitely threats in geese language. And my socks were soaked.
And now I need to get to work...
Behave!

Retreat - Day Two - AM

Slept like crap last night. Don't know why. Maybe it was the massive amounts of coffee I drank, or the massive amounts of water I drank before bed. Or just unfamiliar surroundings. I don't know. I was up a lot. I don't think I fell into a deep sleep until around four am. I was up before my alarm though, showered, talked to the family to see how the evening went last night and wish them a good day today, and was at breakfast on time.
I hit about 1k words and took a nap, only to be awakened by housekeeping. Which was fine. I'd slept long enough and our garbage cans were almost overflowing. Besides, I have work to do. Plotting out some of my story with Simon, turned the heat on in our room, and moved to the comfy bed to work. Which I will begin again once I do a ticket run. (We hand out tickets to enter to win the big prizes.)

This is what it looked like when I woke up this morning. There was a little sun. It's gone now and the temperatures have dropped. It's about ten degrees colder here now than it is at home, though I know home is getting hammered with rain and wind. My niece just posted some pics of The Wilds and the flooding. Crazy stuff.
So this new story has a post war setting which I totally dig. Think Jericho meets Red Dawn with a hefty dose of Life After People thrown in for setting. As of right now there is no paranormal elements, but that might change. Or not. The heroine's name is America and her parents might have been double agents. The hero is the leader of the resistance, but at this point America isn't sure which resistance he's leading.
It's definitely a work in progress. One I am eager to get back to.
So I will leave you with that and get back to work!
Behave!

Retreat - Day One

We are here!!
I am waiting for two more in our group, then my chairperson duties will be lessened a bit. Right now, every time I sit down and start to do something, someone shows up. But that's okay. I don't mind one bit.
It's rainy - rainy like crazy right now and is supposed to rain through tomorrow, but I don't mind that either.
We're on a different floor this year, which is pretty cool so far. We have a more private location with closer access to our meeting room. Each room has a view of the pond and the facility set up a table with coffee and hot water for us. Sweet.
The swag has gone over excellently. Everyone has loved it so far.
I'm going through my projects to see what I have and what will be worked on next before starting a new project. (I have no idea what that will be yet - today is for figuring that out).
I might be back later. We'll see...
Behave!

Retreat - Less Than One Day

This time tomorrow I'll be at RETREAT!!!
I'm 99.975674% ready - just have a few things to throw in and I have to sleep at some point. I am so excited!
Yes, I will miss my family a whole bunch! I am missing K3's end of year performance (which is a whole 'nother long and weird story) and him going to his first prom (maybe. He's still on the fence). I'm going to miss the people in my house. And since That Man and I never got our alone time... Yeah... might be a little rougher than usual. But I'm not going away forever. They will have a blast while I'm gone.
I am done with my work week! Yay! (I'll hate this next payday, but...)
I am so very ready for RETREAT!!
More tomorrow...
Behave!

Oh...It's Tuesday...

The weekend was awesome, though the rain prevented us from seeing my brother walk for his graduation. We had fun hanging out though. And we took our friend Richard. Richard is a tick. In a bag. He was on That Man the other day, so we kept him. Though he's a dog tick, not a deer tick, but he's still a Richard. We actually left Richard behind that night and my niece brought him back, though I know she didn't want to. Ha! Mother's Day was fun and good. We hung out, cooked on the grill, and after the crowd left, we had a roaring game of Apples to Apples with the teenagers. Fun stuff.
It's been a really weird and rough week so far though...
Monday was bad. When I got into work I was informed the woman who hired me had passed away in a freak accident. It was horrible. They brought in a grief counselor and talked to us all through the day. Everyone is a mess. She was a huge part of the company and everyone loved her. Suck and so sad!!
Today was also not good. We got an email early this morning that our payroll company had a security breach. All of our info was exposed - birth date, social, hire date, pay rate, address, phone numbers, bank numbers... everything. Yikes! I called my bank and they recommended we put a password on our account. Which I did. They also recommended we close the affected account and open a new one. What a freaking pain! But we will, because... really? The worst thing is that all of the stolen info could be used in bad ways, which we cannot prevent by opening new accounts... The payroll company has offered us free credit monitoring and protection, which I will take, but what a bunch of bullsh*t crap!
Though on a super fantastic note... We did find out that K4 was accepted into the Art's school in the fall for theater. Exciting stuff! I'm so happy and beyond excited!
And... This time tomorrow I will officially be in de-stress mode and ready for RETREAT!!  I am nearly packed. The swag is packed. The game gifts are wrapped. I have a few things to do, but I am so totally and completely ready for retreat!
Come on, Wednesday... Get here and get over!
Behave!

Feel Good Friday - The Crazy Edition

From now until next Thursday morning, I am insane with things and stuffs! And then I am on RETREAT! YAY!!
It's a good kind of insane. The kind I like. But that doesn't stop the worry I won't get it all done from creeping in.
Anyway... Here is the list:
1. Having a wonderful day in NYC with my girl! Cinderella was fantastic! (Awesomely fantastic!) We also saw Mariah Carey get out of her limo on her way to the David Letterman show. We walked, talked, laughed, and had a good time.
2. My work week. It was crazy busy, but also good. I am getting better at what I do and I dig it!
3. Seeing Baby B and talking to K5 this week. Baby B is a riot and K5 talked my ear off! I love it!
4. Lists - because without them I would be adrift...
5. Weekend plans. There is no sleeping in tomorrow, but I will get to see my brother graduate, hang out, and then hopefully (if it doesn't rain) hang out with the neighbors when we get home.
6. Mother's Day plans. I'm very thankful we are gathering here for the day. I'm looking forward to it! (We won't talk about the mess my house is currently and the laundry that needs to be done!)
7. Getting a lot of my retreat shopping taken care of tonight. I still have some things to do, buy, take care of, but I'm making progress.
8. Filling the van for less than $15.
9. Conversations with the K3 and K4.
10. Plans for "us" time with That Man. We need it so very badly.
11. Less than 6 days until RETREAT!!!
That is all... I must go to bed now...
Behave!

Taking Teenagers for Ice Cream...

Today was kind of a rough day for some in this house. That Man had an insane work day, K3 is so busy he's having a hard time keeping up with his stuff, K4 had an emotionally draining day followed by a crap ton of homework. I'm just tired, so that doesn't really count.
Anyway.
Once the dust settled and the homework was done, That Man and I decided we needed to take the kids for ice cream as a little distraction.
DQ is about 3/4 mile away. The trip there was spent discussing grades, and listening to the teenagers argue about something stupid. We pull in, order, and the arguing continues to ridiculous proportions. Finally, the ice cream / treats came out.
And everything changed.
Our conversation on the way home consisted of something we all contributed to (analyzing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory and its association with the seven deadly sins). It was a very interesting discussion.
The thing is... the stress that was in the house before we left was definitely not present upon our return. I don't know if we had to leave to get it to leave, too, or if the ice cream lifted us above the stress, but it went away and hasn't come back yet. Moods and attitudes are way better than they were when we left.
The power of ice cream? Or the power of taking a break?
I don't know and I don't care. It worked this time. I'll take it.
Behave!

Weekend Wrap... Again...

Why do these weekends always have to end? I mean... seriously? It's not right.... I do need at least one more day to recover and rest!
There was little to no sleeping in this weekend. That Man and K4 were up early Saturday to head into the woods to work on K4's future wheels. (her uncle is giving her an old truck that will take until she's ready for her driver's test to be road worthy. Very cool! But oy!) K3 had rehearsal. They all left too early. My sleeping in did not happen as I was on puppy duty.
But, Saturday was my writing group meeting. It was very awesome, per usual. We had an awesome and very funny speaker and I had a call from our retreat location while there, so was able to finalize plans and stuff. 10 days!
K1, J, and Baby B were here when I got home. We had a very nice dinner with them. K1 works the night shift so we don't get to see him often. And we miss him. It was good to just hang out and talk and laugh (and have Baby B time).
Today was also getting up too early to make sure the puppy didn't do anything rude, grocery shopping, laundry (oy), yard work, Internet shopping, homework wrangling, supervising room clean up, housework, writing, and cooking.
I did the grocery shopping alone, which is kind of weird since That Man and I have been doing it together for a couple of months now. I saved nearly $20. in coupons though (which I would have done if he were with me, so that really is just a bonus)
Tomorrow's dinner is mostly ready. Some things need chopped and the meat needs reheated, but for the most part we'll eat at a semi decent time. And the menu is set for the week, which should mean no mid-week shopping trips.
I decided against going to the stores for the comfy pants, etc I need for retreat and ordered the stuff online. (I have no comfy pants or pj's at this point... my comfy pants consist of a pair of way too big sweats from the 80's with a reindeer on the leg... Yeah...and my pj pants are falling apart) And I got socks! Though I'm kind of pissed that the one thing I ordered won't be here until JUNE! But then I finished the retreat shopping via Amazon. Gotta love it.
I have a list of stuff that needs to be finished before retreat, but I'm on it. I have 10 days! In that 10 days, I have a whole bunch of other stuff that also needs my attention and toiletries to purchase, but I'm good. One of those days will be spent hanging out with my kid in NYC and watching Cinderella on Broadway. I'm really looking forward to that.
Next weekend will be watching my big brother graduate, partying with him, and then hopefully partying the neighbors (K2's bff is also graduating. From the same school as my big bro), then for Mom's day we are having everyone here for hanging out and frivolity.
Another crazy weekend...
It does not ever end... and I don't think I want it to.
Ha!
Behave!!

Feel Good Friday

Another long week in the bag! Whoot! The day job is going well, but next week is going to be different and interesting. I've been thrown into the fire, so to speak, and I hope I can exceed expectations - which shouldn't be too tough since I haven't been given too many. ha! Though, you know what I mean... I hope to impress and do well. I officially feel "official" today. I have folders, sales reps, accounts, and my "cube" is looking kind of impressive. It only needs a few "homey" touches (which I will slowly take care of). Anyway...
Here is the Feel Good Friday list:
1. Friday. YAY! I have needed and looked forward to this day so very much!
2. Retreat in less than two weeks!! Whoot!
3. Writing meeting tomorrow! I am so looking forward to it!
4. Meeting my goal. Just now. And whoot! Another round of edits to go before I send it off to my crit group, but it is done! Yay!
5. The fact that I've managed to get this story done despite the past few weeks!
6. Pre-writing on the shiny new story I will be starting on retreat. I am relatively confident in my idea and with the way the pre-plotting is going.
7. Keeping up with my writing group's 50/50 challenge. I've only missed one day so far and have exceeded 50 words every other day.
8. Receiving my cool new swag yesterday. The postcards are beautiful and I totally dig my new notebook with my cover!
9. Sleeping in for a little bit tomorrow. I am so tired I can't see straight. I'll be in bed very soon! (Sad on a Friday night, but what can I say?)
10. NYC with my girl. Though I think I already said that! Too bad. I'm very excited to see Cinderella on Broadway and hang out in the Big Apple.
Behave!!